The Other Way Around
by Bjanik
Summary: Cloud participates in one of the odder aspects of the SOLDIER program.  Instead of a story with a lemon in it, more of a lemon with a story in it.  YAOI  SephxCloud
1. The Organic Method

**Disclaimer: **I do not own FFVII or anything in it.

**A/N: I don't know what possessed me to write this, or even where I'm going with it. There's no real plot, it's just a romance with some odd sexual situations. I expect I'll cap it off when the relationship is played out. **

**I absolutely hate having to type SOLDIER in all caps, so after a few I just cap the first, Soldier.  
**

"I don't know about you, but this _so_ isn't what I signed up for." Anthony tapped one booted toe nervously against the floor and shifted uneasily on the bare wooden bench.

Cloud didn't respond to the other cadet at his side; his own stomach was in too many knots to talk. That's how it was with him, under stress he became quiet, Anthony chattered.

"I mean it won't be all that bad, right?" Anthony said, wetting his dry lips with his tongue and looking from side to side. "Just a few times, and it's not like the injections are a piece of cake either."

Cloud nodded absently. A few times, or more like ten times, or two dozen times, you couldn't be sure. But on the other side of the fence the mako injections were painful, nauseating, cramp inducing nightmares. Not to mention they meant more time with that creepy Dr. Hojo. And there was no shame in using the 'organic' method. Almost a quarter of the current SOLDIERs had come up that way. And to come this far, leave home, train for a year and a half, pass every other test, and then to be told you don't respond to injected mako- it was almost unbearable. It was this or leave SOLDIER. Go back home, or take some grunt job in the army maybe. Neither of these options was acceptable to Cloud. He had wanted to be SOLDIER as long as he could remember, since he first started watching the news coverage on the war and the stories about the confident young captain who ascended to rapidly to General commander of the entire ShinRa army. Sephiroth had been no older than Cloud was now when he started making headlines in the war. Now the man was a legend. And here he was, a nervous sixteen year old wondering if he would ever make SOLDIER at all.

Cloud looked around the room. There were about ten of them in there, no, eleven, all looking nervous in their own way. Trent looked vacant and a bit green; Mickelo was picking his teeth with a thumbnail. Jeremy had his head leaning back against the wall behind them, staring at spot on the vaulted ceiling.

Movement at the doorway interrupted all their self distraction devices. Their drill sergeant, Sgt. Bushere, (a.k.a. 'Basher') was coming in with the SOLDIER donors, double checking his clipboard and occasionally looking at their group.

"I don't want Niven, I hear he's rough. No Niven, no Niven, no Niven..." Anthony repeated the mantra as if he could bend reality to his will.

Cloud knew they had no choice in the matter, the SOLDIER made the selection of the recipient. He could recognize about four of them, they would all be First or Second Class with high levels. Mako to spare. He counted ten Soldiers, but surely they needed eleven, didn't they?

He heard the wave of subtle movements around him even as he saw the form of silver and black enter the room. Cloud swallowed, his throat feeling suddenly dry. He had only seen General Sephiroth two or three times during his entire eighteen months in training and it had been during evaluations. The General hadn't even addressed them at that time, merely watched then discussed with their sergeants.

"I didn't know he donated," Cloud whispered to Anthony, who seemed to have the most hearsay knowledge of the process.

"Doesn't usually," Anthony replied, "But it's on a volunteer basis, I guess he's short one this time. Now if that isn't a frightening prospect I don't know what is."

Cloud shuddered a little. Since coming to ShinRa they heard plenty about General Sephiroth even if they saw him little. Cold. Vicious in battle. Cruel, even.

The knot of SOLDIERs approached the group of cadets, an imposing sight despite their relaxed stride and obvious comfort with themselves and one another. There was only so much that attitude could do to lighten the sight of almost a dozen young, muscular men, all in black, all in combat boots, all with eyes that blazed like neon. At least none of them carried weapons, visible weapons that was. Even Sephiroth had forgone his trademark sword. Cloud wondered where it was. Did he leave it in his office? His apartment, maybe? The most famous sword in all the world leaning up against the wall next the couch?

Cloud heard more fidgeting around him as the SOLDIERs approached, but none of them stood. Normally there would be no question that they would stand, normally the presence of one SOLDIER, any SOLDIER, triggered them to stand at attention, and here were ten plus the General coming right up to them. But somehow, given the circumstances, it seemed... rude. That they might appear anxious for what was offered.

"Cadets, attenSHUN!" Basher hollered, and Cloud was surprised to hear he didn't sound angry this time. Normally he would chew them out for such a breach of etiquette. Maybe he understood.

Then quite suddenly Soldiers were motioning to cadets and cadets were moving. No preamble, no speech, no instructions. Cloud wasn't sure what he was expecting, but this seemed so abrupt.

"Cadet?"

Cloud's attention came back into focus, the General himself was standing before him, a questioning look in his unnatural green eyes. Sephiroth had chosen him.

"Sir," he quickly managed to say, or rather squeak out.

Sephiroth turned his back and Cloud found himself following the wall of silvery hair, his feet moving of their own volition. They had all been prepped and told more or less what to expect. It was a simple matter really, follow the Soldier and then follow his instructions. Cloud kept his eyes on the General's back, realizing for the first time how big the man was. He was so much taller than Cloud, certainly over six feet tall. Cloud was barely five and a half feet. He was hoping to gain another inch or two, but he knew he'd never reach six feet; just didn't have the genetics for it. Behind the swinging hair the man's torso cut a perfect triangle, broad shoulders that must have been two feet across, even accounting for the coat he was wearing.

Cloud watched the hair, mesmerized by its motion and the way it caught the light. Of course everything about the General was familiar to Cloud; he had a whole scrapbook of him at home – newspaper articles, ShinRa marketing propaganda, and sketches he'd made of images from one of the three local TV stations in his small mountain hometown. Sephiroth was the man Cloud most admired and wanted to be like.

And he knew the other things he felt about him, too. He couldn't help that. Cloud had known since he was seven years old how he was. He had marched right up and informed his mother, who had stayed admirably calm about the whole thing. Of course she hadn't really taken her young son seriously, but even at that age Cloud understood himself. He liked men. And there was no finer example of a man than the one in front of him. His hero. And here he was, finally going to spend some time with him, and he was probably going to spend the whole of it too nervous to even speak.

Cloud resumed studying the General's back, his fatigues gradually tightening with a stiffening in his groin. _No, no, no,_ he tried willing himself back down, making good use of the humiliating images of the General discovering him in this condition. What a riot, small town boy from Nibelheim with a hard on for the General.

They stopped in front of a generic looking door, and Cloud had to spin around to check where he was. He felt stupid for not having paid attention, but as he looked back he remembered some of the turns they had taken. They were in the east wing of the Third Class quarters. Apparently an unused section. Sephiroth opened the door with the help of a key card and motioned for Cloud to enter. It felt odd preceding the General, but then again nothing about this felt normal.

The room they had entered was small and comfortable, a single occupancy quarters with a bathroom. Something like a hotel room. Cloud presumed this was typical Third Class quarters; cadets and regular army slept in barracks, First Classes had apartments, Second and Third Classes must be somewhere in between. The room had a double bed, a desk, and one piece of furniture that was definitely not standard. It was sort of a tall, padded table. It had kind of a clinical look to it.

"Everything OK, Cadet?" The General had picked up on Cloud's disorientation.

"Yeah, I mean yes sir, I just thought that... we'd be going to the lab or something." Cloud turned to see Sephiroth studying him carefully.

"I dislike the labs, they give me trouble," he said, "If you prefer a laboratory setting we'll have to find you another donor."

"No," Cloud said quickly, hating the idea of starting this all over again. "No, its fine, sir."

Cloud looked again at the table, guessing at how it was used. An oddly decorative bottle with a pump top was sitting on the table along with several small towels. So this was it then. Sephiroth had removed his long coat and draped it casually over the desk chair. Cloud was grateful the General was wearing a black T-shirt rather than some of that leather stuff Soldiers often wore. Another detail that Cloud assumed was meant to keep the intimidation factor down.

"What's your name, son?" Sephiroth asked.

"Cloud Strife, sir."

"Well Cloud, this really isn't too difficult, and it doesn't take that long. The key is that you relax. Unbutton your fatigues so that they're loose, and lay just your upper body on the table, chest down," Sephiroth reached over to the bed and snagged the flatter of the two pillows and gave it Cloud. The cadet took pillow gratefully and positioned himself as directed. Sephiroth laid a hand on his back and Cloud jumped.

"Shhh," the older man said, "Relax, remember?"

Cloud tried to relax, but he honestly didn't know how he could. Just being in the room with the Sephiroth was stressful enough, but he was supposed to relax with his pants down while the General...

His thoughts were hijacked by another shifting in his groin. Great, just what he needed.

He felt one strong hand on the back of his neck, and Cloud wondered briefly if the General meant to pin him down. He resolved to be still and submit, no matter what, but there was no offensive force to the touch. Instead thumb and fingers moved in gentle circles, driving out the tension in Cloud's neck, then the other hand joined to work on his shoulders.

"You've got a lot of tension in your musculature, Cadet. Basher been working you guys pretty hard this week?"

"Yes sir," Cloud said, noticing Sephiroth had used the drill sergeant's nickname.

"Got anything you like in particular? Weapon?"

Part of Cloud's brain was in disbelief that General Sephiroth was making small talk with him and at the casual familiarity of his tone. But the rest of his brain was running off as he blathered about sword practice. Gaia, how he loved it. It had been the first thing, maybe ever in his life, that he was immediately good at. Better than anyone in his class. And all the while the warm hands rubbed his back and the smooth, low voice made encouraging comments. And unbelievably Cloud was feeling a bit sleepy, the side of his face sunk deep into the pillow, the corners of his lips catching on the surface as he talked.

Then he felt a touch to the sides of his hips, and he tensed all over again as his fatigues were pushed downwards.

"Cloud, I want you to go back to that sleepy relaxed state you were just in."

"I'm awake, sir" Cloud said automatically, even as he succeeding in relaxing a little.

Sephiroth actually chuckled. He recognized the influence of Basher, Cadets were often sleep deprived and the man delighted in sneaking up on them at any lull during the day and demanding to know why they were sleeping. He'd seen cadets able to give that reply while actually still asleep.

"You can be sleepy if I tell you to be, cadet," Sephiroth's said, clearly amused.

"Yes sir."

Cloud felt one hand return to his back with long soothing strokes. The General's other hand was... well from the motion in the corner of his eye, Cloud guessed he was stroking himself. It occurred to Cloud that Sephiroth probably had to ready himself too, the General needed Soldiers and just because he was donating mako didn't mean he was enjoying it particularly. Basher had told them the lab had tried every way to get around this method, but those sensitive to the processed mako fared no better on mako harvested off of high level Soldiers if it left their bodies. Without this intimate connection it just wouldn't flow from one to the other. It was Anthony who told him the reason they knew about the organic transfer at all was because since the inception of the Soldier program some Soldiers had always kept younger recruits as lovers. Or each other. That practice was widely known and was one of things that attracted Cloud to Soldier so many years ago. Or maybe it had been the other way around?

Cloud was jolted out of his musings by the feeling of a light touch to his anus, warm and somewhat wet feeling. He clenched.

"Easy, Cloud. Not so much different than the annual exam."

"Maybe I should cough."

Another one of those small chuckles. Who would have guessed that General Sephiroth was so easily amused?

Cloud felt a finger slide inside of him. He felt a second finger, gently stretching the opening. And a third. Now it was starting to get a bit uncomfortable. There was certainly going to be something quite different to this than the annual exam. Cloud concentrated on breathing slowly.

He felt the fingers withdraw and be replaced by the most intimate part of the man, the organ that would deliver of some Sephiroth's excess mako directly into Cloud's body. But he would have to thrust first. Cloud felt the slow rhythmic moving in and out. It did kind of hurt, and he felt... full. But there was something else too, something sharp with pleasure. He felt his own erection stiffen and the pleasure portion increased. He briefly worried about his body's reaction if this continued, but then the General's hips were pressed close and tight behind him and Sephiroth's head came so far forward that some of the silver hair fell onto Cloud's neck and face. He realized the man had finished. Finished already, he must have been on the edge before he entered him. Cloud supposed that was considerate, but he felt like he was left oddly hanging.

"I just need a moment here," Sephiroth said, still leaning over Cloud. He sounded spent, almost weak, and his breaths came ragged on Cloud's neck. Every goosebump on his body rose up at the brush of that hot breath.

"And you're all done, Cloud," Sephiroth straightened up and pulled smoothly away from him, picking up one of the small towels.

"Lie down on the bed on your stomach," he continued, while running water in the bathroom, washing up.

When the General came back into the room Cloud was already buttoned up and on the bed. "You need stay on your stomach for an hour. So it doesn't run out. We used to make cadets stand on their heads for an hour, but they got nosebleeds."

Cloud stared up at Sephiroth. Did he just make a joke? Then the older man actually smiled and ran a hand over Clouds bright blonde head. He picked up a timer from the nightstand and pushed a few buttons, then turned it so Cloud could see the display, which was counting down from one hour.

"After your hour you can wash up and head to dinner. You should be able to eat OK, but if not don't worry about it, just get a big breakfast tomorrow"

"Yes sir," Cloud was feeling sleepy already.

"Lights on or off?" Sephiroth said, opening the door.

"Off, please."

"Sweet dreams, cadet." Sephiroth flicked the lights off and left.

On the far side of the door General Sephiroth, commander of the most powerful army on the planet, terror of Wutai and heartless bastard to almost everyone, leaned his back against the door and shut his eyes.

"Sweet Shiva," he said to himself, "You should not have picked that one."


	2. Comparing Notes

**Disclaimer: **I do not own FFVII or anything in it.

**A/N: I'm thinking of re-titling this thing 'A Lemon in Every Chapter'.**

At dinner in the mess hall most of the 'organics' sat together, having arrived somewhat late. The exception was Thom, another of Anthony and Cloud's friends, who came over to join them. The whole table was silent, in fact the whole dining room was silent, including the tables full of the injection candidates. Cloud looked around curiously. Most of the other cadets were not touching their food.

"You nauseous?" Cloud asked Thom. Thom nodded his head.

"I feel like I'm going to toss my cookies right onto my plate, and after I do that, my dinner will look no worse to me than it does right now. But they told us we had to eat, choke it down somehow."

"Really?" Cloud asked, shoving a forkful of mashed potatoes into his mouth. He wondered why they couldn't wait until morning to eat; it seemed just sadistic.

"But that's not the worst of it, really." Thom made a face, even though he was no longer looking at his food. "They strap you down to the table in the lab with all these bright lights in your face. Really bright, like bright right through your eyelids bright. And they needto strap you down because the shit hurts so bad you thrash around pulling at the straps even though you don't want to. And," Thom's eyes wandered the surface of the table as if there were no safe place for them to light. "I screamed. Everyone did- the pain. Four or five at a time in the room, the whole place screaming and gritting our teeth, trying not to. I mean, we're supposed to be Soldiers, right? And that bastard Hojo walking around from table to table, asking questions you can't answer, and smiling. I felt like an animal."

Thom's face tensed in bitter, defeated anger, his eyes distant. The rest guys at Cloud's table looked at each other, then around the mess. Similar faces everywhere. Thom was at least better balanced than most; he had a naturally sunny disposition. Tall, lean, good-looking, and unlike Cloud he was popular and always seemed lucky. Until now.

"Well," he said, raking fingers through his short brown hair, "What I really wanted to ask was how it went for you guys, not start a bitch session of my own." He smiled weakly.

Cloud and the others shrugged. It was hard to know what to say after that. But Thom persisted.

"Did it... hurt?" Thom prodded.

Anthony considered. "Yeah, some, but it wasn't too bad. Jeremy, you got Niven, how was that?"

Jeremy winced a little. "Well, it hurt like a bitch, but I tell you what, it was over quick. The nap was good, that bed was way better than my cot."

"You guys got naps? In real beds?" Thom's mouth hung open.

They all nodded.

"Yeah, you have to, uh, lay on your stomach for an hour afterwards, so I just slept," Anthony said. "But Cloud here, he pulled the General. Frankly I'm surprised you're still alive. I'd have died of fright."

"The General donated?" Thom seemed to have completely forgotten about his nausea. "How... how was that?"

Cloud shrugged. "It was fine. He was..." Cloud stopped. Nice really wasn't the word you should apply to the General, even if he had been. "Kind."

Now every eye was on him, rapt in attention. Usually when Cloud talked he didn't command such an audience. It seemed he was supposed to say more.

"He gave me a backrub."

And there was a sudden outbreak of envious disbelief and laughter. Apparently the others had not gotten backrubs. Cloud smiled. His whole table was in decent spirits now, even Thom, who had even managed to take a couple bites of his food. Thom shook his head.

"Man, and to think everyone was feeling sorry for you guys. I wish _I _didn't respond to the injections."

"Right," Anthony said mockingly.

"Serious. Hell I'd have found some way to sneak in there if I'd known the General was donating." he winked at Cloud. "Excuse me, I really have to go find somewhere to throw up. See you organics around." He got up and bussed his mostly uneaten dinner through the tray return window.

"Did he just say what I thought he said?" Anthony asked.

"I think he did," Cloud said, smiling. Well that would make Thom the first of their class to actually declare themselves in that camp.

ccccccccccccccccccccccc

The next day was incredible for Cloud. He woke up early, feeling like he could do anything in the world. His limbs felt loose, ready, and strong. Anthony, who had the bunk next to him, was likewise awake, grinning ear to ear. The rest of the barracks were strangely sedentary, even after the general alarm went off. Only about a dozen cadets showed any semblance of liveliness. Eleven, Cloud realized. The eleven organics all got up easily, the rest remained nothing but moaning lumps.

"Hey, Thom, get up," Cloud jostled the inert form in the bunk on the other side of him. "Basher's going to be here any second!"

The lump stirred and groaned.

"Can't... move... worse than last night..." Thom's voice croaked.

Cloud and Anthony grabbed on to Thom and moved him themselves. He groused at the treatment, but after a few seconds of manual manipulation at least his arms and legs were functional.

"CADETS!" Basher's voice boomed from the doorway, "Get your pansy asses out of those racks and out to morning drill! What do you think this is, Resort de ShinRa? MOVE!"

The big sergeant moved through the aisles, dumping cadets out of bed, rolling them with his big booted feet, smacking the ones who couldn't dodge out of the way upside the head. And smiling all the while. Nobody enjoyed watching suffering with as much gusto as Basher. Cloud nimbly ducked one of his blows while he and Anthony hauled Thom towards the door, trying to get him dressed at the same time.

"Don't you organics look so pleased!" Basher yelled over the pathetic field of cadets dotted by a few lively members. "At least these guys don't have to get injected again until next week. You eleven have to get stabbed again tomorrow!" Basher grinned ever wider.

Several cadets snickered at this, but it was a half hearted effort through the pain. Somebody wretched.

"Next week?" Thom said helplessly. "I don't think I'll be recovered by then."

Morning drill held more of the same, cadets barely able to stand let alone run the drills. But after an hour or two the stiffness or whatever it was seemed to work its way out, and by breakfast most cadets were feeling somewhat better.

"Hey, Anthony," Cloud took his normal spot at their table for breakfast. Thom had joined them and Cloud was happy to see he was at least eating something. "How do the rest of the days go, do we always get the same Soldier?"

Anthony shook his head. "Not necessarily, not unless you're sponsored."

"Sponsored?" Cloud had no idea how Anthony managed to be so well informed.

"Yeah, if one particular Soldier agrees to stick with you through the whole process. Often they help with other things too, classes or training. Sometimes they, uh, donate in excess of the schedule. It can be a big advantage, bring your mako level up quicker. Trent really liked his guy, Wallace? I guess they joked and laughed through the whole thing. He's going to go over to First Class offices today and ask him to sponsor."

"That's pretty gutsy," Cloud said. Cadets had a hell of a time getting in to see a First Class.

"Yeah, well, if he doesn't do it today he may wind up with someone else tomorrow. Often not even the same donors show up."

Cloud stared at his food. He knew what he wanted, but cadets were not even admitted to see the General let alone ask him impertinent questions. But he had an idea. He had an ace in the hole that most cadets didn't.

cccccccccccccccccc

"You OK, Seph?" Zack Fair eyed his commander suspiciously. The man had already chewed out four Second Classes in front of the whole unit, called up the Turk commander and told him without pulling any punches exactly what he thought of their last co-operation, and glared two secretaries into tears. All in all a pretty normal morning, but somehow the General lacked some of his usual venom.

"I'm fine. Why do you ask?"

"You seem a little... distracted."

Sephiroth considered. They were sequestered in his office, away from the perpetually obtrusive eyes and ears of the company. Here he could talk. Everywhere else he snarled, barked, and glared. It was sometimes tiring but it kept the annoying idiots at bay.

"Maybe," he admitted. "Nelson got injured in practice yesterday and left me one short in the donor pool. So I went down there. I can't seem to get this cadet off my mind."

"Oh, oh, you picked one you liked, didn't you? You should pick one you don't care for, keep it simple."

Sephiroth laughed a little. "Zackary, you never volunteer, what would you know?"

"Yeah, well I don't care for any of them. That would make the task a little difficult, don't you think?" Then he frowned. "Oh, I get your point. Anyway, so you like this kid?"

Sephiroth sighed. It would have been impossible for him not to pick Cloud - the bright blond hair and perfectly round, baby-blue eyes drifted into his mind's eye. Something about the details of Cloud's face had aligned to match some primal rhythm inside him, along with the electric zing of attraction and chemistry. But that initial attraction, powerful though it was, wasn't what was keeping him distracted. Cloud's voice, his small laugh, joking about needing to cough- those shared moments of potential and possibility were what kept his mind buzzing.

"He is the most beautiful cadet I've ever seen in my life. And he talked to me, even though I made him nervous. Loves sword work."

Zack was silent for awhile, a rarity for him.

"What?" Sephiroth finally asked.

"This cadet wouldn't happen to have big blue eyes and blond hair that sticks out at every weird angle, would he?"

Sephiroth took a gander at Zack's own unruly head but decided to keep that comment to himself. "Yes, Cloud Strife, do you know him?"

"Yeah, small town kid." Zack sighed. "I've kind of taken to looking out for him. But he didn't tell me he was in the organic group." He looked up at Sephiroth, his violet eyes concerned. "You were easy on him, right?"

"Of course. I've donated before, and I've read the training material three times."

Zack looked at his commander but kept silent. As far as Zack knew the organic donation training manual was basic stuff- keep the encounter professional, speak softly, kindly. Sephiroth could follow those instructions easily enough. But there was also something about watching the recipient carefully, to see if they were getting freaked out and if so try to calm them down. Sephiroth was piss-poor at that kind of thing. He read social nuances poorly and his natural tendency was to attack weakness when he saw it. He was probably the only Soldier who would have _had_ to read the thing three times, and who knew how much good it did.

Sephiroth leaned back in his chair, a small smile on his face and eyes not really focused somewhere on the ceiling. Zack Fair gazed at the ceiling as well, unsure what worried him more, what Sephiroth's idea of "easy on him" might be, or his obvious fixation on the unwitting Cloud Strife.

cccccccccccccccc

"Hey, Zack?" Cloud caught the First Class in the hallway between drills and meetings. He knew Zack's schedule well enough to circumvent the normal frustrating channels.

"What's up, Spike?" Zack asked easily. But damn if that wasn't a coincidence, he and Seph had just discussed the kid this morning. Suddenly Zack frowned, concerned about what this might be about. "Is everything OK, Cloud?"

"Yeah, fine, but um, do you have a minute?"

"For you, yeah." Zack guided Cloud quickly into his office and shut the door. He looked at Cloud questioningly.

"You know I'm in the organic group, right?"

Zack nodded. He hadn't known until this morning, but no sense in letting the kid feel he was getting overlooked just because Zack had gotten a bit busy.

"I... I got General Sephiroth for the first round." A flush crept up Cloud's neck and into his cheeks.

"I know that too." Zack was starting to tense. Damn, Seph had said he had been careful with the boy. Was Cloud traumatized, needing a shoulder?

"I wanted to ask him to sponsor me."

Zack's eyebrows shot up. Well, this was good. Or maybe not. He knew Sephiroth was interested in Cloud, but that might have no bearing on his decisions. The General was kind of hard to predict.

"I don't know if he sponsors at all Cloud. I don't remember him ever doing it. I know he was just filling in, and I don't think he was planning on donating for the whole course..."

"Oh. It's OK, Zack, I understand."

"But hey, I'll tell him, if you want, that is."

Cloud's face brightened. "Would you?" Cloud asked, a spark of hope lighting his eyes.

The second round of donations started much the same as the first. The cadets were seated on the same bench, although the tension in the room was considerably less. At least they all knew what to expect. Cloud was annoyed by a recurrent butterfly feeling in his stomach. Anticipation. Every time he let his mind relax it speculated on whether Sephiroth would come, if he had accepted Cloud's request, before he could remind himself that probably he would do neither. Zack had said after all that he didn't think it likely.

The Soldiers arrived, and this time the cadets stood at attention without prompting. Cloud recognized some faces, and some were new. But his heart dropped to his boots when he noticed the absence of the General. He reprimanded himself for building up so much hope despite his efforts. A particularly good natured looking Soldier walked right over to Trent and the two of them left, already laughing together. That must be Wallace, Cloud thought. He reminded him of Zack. Then a tall, solemn Soldier was motioning to Cloud. He knew this one, Niven. _Rough. _He let out a slow breath and followed. But before he got to the door the whole room froze. Every Soldier had stopped in their tracks and stood at attention, their eyes locked on the door where the General had just come through. He looked about twice his normal size with the armor on his leather coat, eyes were blazing in anger, a gash across his cheek, and that six foot long sword was trailing behind him. He surveyed the room and walked over to where Niven was standing with Cloud slightly behind. The two Soldiers leaned their heads close, Sephiroth talking and Niven nodding. Then Niven left them and selected another cadet, and Sephiroth motioned to Cloud.

"Come," he said curtly, and strode out of the room.

Cloud had to practically trot to keep up. Sephiroth did not speak during the entire trip and was clearly not open to being spoken to. Cloud had been hoping and wishing to see him again, but not like this. This version of Sephiroth terrified him, and at the moment there was nothing he wanted less than to go in that room with him.

But they eventually reached their destination and Sephiroth again opened the door and motioned for Cloud to precede him. Cloud slunk in, trying to appear inoffensive as possible.

"Look at me, cadet," Sephiroth said, as soon as they were both inside.

Cloud did so, and held the General's blazing eyes as best he could. But a few more moments and he was going to start to shake. Or maybe throw up. Or worse. But then Sephiroth closed his eyes and Cloud was quite suddenly off the hook. He observed Sephiroth's face without fear or self consciousness, and saw something relax and melt under the skin. When the General opened his green eyes again they were as Cloud remembered them two days ago. Kind.

"I'm sorry Cloud. I have a rotten temperament, but it is controllable. It's just that I've had a particularly challenging day killing some escaped specimens from the lab. I had no idea Hojo was keeping anything that... big down there. Not that I mind killing things," Sephiroth loosed Masamune and leaned it in a corner. "Normally I like it. It's just that..." he shook his head.

"You hate the lab," Cloud volunteered.

Sephiroth smiled at the boy. Yes, that was the problem. Anything having to do with the lab set him off. Cloud smiled back at him. It was small, but it was a smile. The boy had the most beautiful smile.

Sephiroth touched the wound on his cheek and made a face.

"I'm going to take a quick shower." He peeled off his coat and disappeared into the bathroom, only half closing the door.

Cloud was left to contemplate the last five minutes. He'd gone from wanting to see Sephiroth, to accepting it wasn't happening, to seeing the man but being terrified of him, to this cautious optimism. And now the object of his fascination was in the shower. He imagined the water cascading over his skin, running over all that hair, and was left with the hardening flesh between his legs. But it wasn't the faint twinge this time, but a full blown stiffy. There was no way the General was _not_ going to notice _that_.

"Shit," Cloud said softly to himself. _Think of something not sexy, not sexy, not sexy _he forced his mind to contemplate Basher's armpit hair. Right, that was the ticket. More armpit hair, and... Athlete's foot.

"You alright, Cloud?"

Cloud's head jerked up, the image through the bathroom door of Sephiroth in a towel bursting his mental imagery which had expanded to toenail fungus and last Sunday's meat special at the mess hall. He nodded, leaving Sephiroth looking confused.

Sephiroth pushed the door back to half closed. He wanted to keep an eye on the boy, but he was clearly making him nervous. That last look on his face, what had that been? Disgust? He was sure he hadn't misunderstood Zack; Cloud wanted him to sponsor. And he had been considering it because Zack was damn sure the kid was not a climber, that Cloud didn't want him for the influence he might garner but rather because he just liked him in some way. But that didn't mean the kid liked this. That was his own desires imposing themselves, and he reprimanded himself for not keeping those things separate.

Sephiroth toweled out the last bit of his hair. At least he had gotten the monster slime out of it.

The General emerged, clothed again, a state that Cloud found strange. Because he would need to get partially undone in a minute. Of course they had both been clothed last time. Cloud shook the thoughts away. The whole arrangement was just so... strange.

"Ready?" Sephiroth asked, his tone as gentle as it had been two days ago, but his face looked a little tired, even sad.

Cloud grabbed his pillow and lay on the table as before. But as soon as Sephiroth touched his back his erection blazed to life and his whole body stiffened a bit.

"You're more tense than the last time, Cadet, is anything wrong?"

"No sir, nothing particular."

"How did you feel yesterday?" Sephiroth began rubbing up and down Clouds rigid back muscles, forcing them to relax despite their owner.

"Good. Great, actually. The injection candidates, they didn't do so well."

"It will get better as they go. I bet Basher had a field day with it," Sephiroth chuckled, and Cloud shot him a look.

"Sorry," Sephiroth said, "Their pain is only temporary, and I find the mental image of Basher harassing an entire squad of mako hungover cadets rather amusing."

"Well you're both just sadistic bastards," Cloud said, letting his face sink back into the pillow.

Sephiroth actually laughed at this, and Cloud laughed too. The scene had been funny, Basher yelling, cadets not responding, cadets falling completely over at odd times. He hadn't allowed himself to appreciate it out of guilt for not being among them.

Sephiroth smiled. He did like this boy, regardless of how Cloud's feelings ran for him. Really only Zack dared, or bothered, to talk to him like that. He placed his hands on Cloud's hips, and Cloud realized with alarm that he'd forgotten to unbutton. As the General nudged him upward and moved to undo Cloud's fly Cloud jerked, knowing that his now full blown erection would be noticed.

Sephiroth sighed and pulled away. Both the boy's fists were knotted into the pillow.

"Maybe this isn't such a good day for you Cloud." Sephiroth said, moving to retrieve his coat.

With alarm Cloud realized the General was going to leave. He wasn't going to get sponsored, he wasn't going to his donation for the day, and General Sephiroth was going to walk out of here thinking he was just a weak kid who couldn't control his nerves.

"Sir, please!" Cloud said.

Sephiroth stopped, his back to Cloud.

"I have to have this. They'll check levels at the end of the week, and if I don't keep my donation schedule..."

Silence. Sephiroth stood motionless. Cloud, also motionless, stared at his back.

"Very well." The General spun with frightening speed and this time did press him down by the neck to the table. "We'll make this quick."

Cloud barely registered the word "quick" and what that might mean before he felt his hips being lifted and his pants undone. Then the Sephiroth froze. He had discovered Cloud's waning but still potent erection. Cloud shoved his face into the pillow, sure that the General found him improper, offensive, maybe even ridiculous.

Sephiroth smiled. Now he understood. He ran his thumb over the rounded lump and felt it strain against the fabric. It hadn't been anxiety. It was arousal.

"Cloud, is this why you've been nervous?"

The blonde head nodded, face never leaving the pillow.

Sephiroth held back a laugh he knew would only frustrate the boy. But he couldn't help smiling, Cloud was just so damn... cute. And Sephiroth didn't even like cute. At least he didn't think he did. Such a strange array of emotions this one was bringing out in him.

"Cloud, this just makes things easier is all."

Cloud's head lifted slightly out of the pillow.

"I'm going to slide you back a bit," Sephiroth pulled Cloud's hips to make space, then lowered his fatigues. Cloud jerked several times as he did this, but Sephiroth ignored this round of jerking. It was just the boy's hyper sensitive condition; he'd stop that twitching soon enough.

"I want you to put your attention here," Sephiroth said as he grasped Cloud in one already lubricated palm and gave him a hard squeeze.

Cloud gasped, finally bringing his face out of the pillow. Sephiroth gave him a few slow strokes while caressing his opening from behind. His gaze wandered over the Cloud's backside. He didn't have a scrap of hair on or between his cheeks and he never would, given his extreme state of blondeness and mako's tendency to stunt body hair. And he was opening up oh so nicely to the pressure of his long, lubricated fingers.

Cloud gasped again as Sephiroth entered him, that point of pleasure immediately acute this time. His breathing picked up and Sephiroth could feel the heat rising off Cloud's body. Then he began to buck a little, giving Sephiroth a good indication of what the boy's rhythm was. The bucking was joined by desperate vocalizations, and Sephiroth reached under Cloud and pushed the front of his T-shirt up to his chest, letting his hand rove over the budding torso muscles just under Clouds skin, imagining how in another year how nicely he would be filling out.

Sephiroth would have liked to linger, draw out this coupling, but he reminded himself this was only Cloud's second time, best not to overdo. He continued the motion that seemed to elicit the most noise out of Cloud and then with a loud groan Cloud was spilling himself over Sephiroth's fingers and onto the edge of the padded table. Sephiroth finished with a few thrusts of his own, restraining himself still, remembering to be gentle, but unable to hold back a small groan himself as he climaxed.

Sephiroth laid his chest atop Cloud's back, longer this time and with his lips brushing Cloud's ear, still breathing heavily. Cloud found himself resenting the fabric of their shirts that kept him from feeling skin against skin. Presently Sephiroth recovered and pulled himself up and withdrew. Cloud stood and used one of the towels to clean some spillage on his abdomen, understanding now why the General had pushed his shirt up. At least his shirt was still clean. It was more than he could say for the table and part of the floor.

"Housekeeping will get it," Sephiroth said, guiding Cloud to the bed. "On your stomach."

"Oh, right," Cloud said lazily and lay down while Sephiroth cleaned up. His head was spinning, with the most amazing sexual release he had ever felt. The intensity of his own practiced self pleasure didn't even come close, and didn't bring this giddy spinning feeling afterwards. He knew he was supposed to be thinking about something, but his mind had gone kind of mushy and numb.

The bed shifted as Sephiroth sat his weight onto the edge. The boy nuzzled one peach blushed cheek into the pillow, a movement that momentarily captivated the General. His pulse quickened, and despite his recent release his sex responded as well. He shook his head slightly, surprised at himself.

"Zack Fair tells me you're looking for a sponsor," he finally said.

"No sir."

Sephiroth knit his eyebrows.

"Just you. I just wanted you to sponsor." Cloud heard the words come out of his mouth but couldn't quite believe it. Gaia, was he really being this forward? He blamed his mushy brain for malfunctioning.

Cloud watched Sephiroth's face closely, his lips parted briefly before returning together in a thin smile.

"I'd be happy to, Cloud."

Cloud knew he was grinning stupidly but he didn't care. And as Sephiroth made to leave his brain malfunctioned on him again.

"Sir? Will you stay?"

Sephiroth thought for a moment before responding. "I could use a nap," he finally answered. "Slide over, cadet."

Sephiroth doused the main light but left the bathroom light on.

"I can't have it pitch black if I sleep in the middle of the day," he explained as he lay down on his back next to Cloud. "I get disoriented when I wake up and kill things that don't necessarily need killing."

Cloud laid still in the semi-dark for the next hour, next to his hero. Possibly his lover, he wasn't quite clear on that point. He was excited, confused, grateful, and being the only other living thing within kill range of the sleeping General, found it impossible to sleep.

**A/N: I liked the comparison between the cadets who underwent injection to those who used organic method, in terms of who was really violated here. Violation has more to do with the intent of the violator than the details of the act.**


	3. All of It

**Disclaimer:**I do not own FFVII or anything in it.

**A/N: I was thinking I was going pretty slow here, but this is a pretty big chapter, since I didn't want to break until I got to the next lemon. Because this lemon requires some true coming together (finally) it took a lot longer to setup.**

"Damn."

Cloud stood in a shallow ravine, feet shifting on the sharp rocks and boulders that were last tumbled around in the heavy spring rains.

"FUCK!" he yelled to no one, because there was no one to hear him. He was lost. Again. Thick trees rose up on either side of him, the view the same in every direction. He looked down at his map and cursed his compass. Stupid ass thing. How was it possible he could be so terrible at this? He grew up in the mountains, he never used a compass, and he never got lost. He supposed he should backtrack, follow the coordinate points backwards. But since he wasn't standing at the pickup point he had obviously made a mistake. Was he going to make the same mistake in reverse? Because that's what he would have to do to get back to the starting point by backtracking.

His radio crackled. "Strife, are you still out there?"

"Yes sir,"

"Are you lost?"

Cloud could hear laughter in the background. Why the hell did he have to be in B company? His few friends were in A. B was full of assholes.

"Maybe," Cloud replied.

There was a crackle and he could hear more laughter. Danzen, the Second Class in charge of his navigation class, was deliberately holding the 'talk' button down just so Cloud could hear that. Another asshole.

"That's three strikes for you, Strife. I guess you won't be passing Nav this year. I'll just get a bead on your transmitter and guide you home. Again."

Cloud's world darkened, even though it was broad daylight. Danzen was going to fail him? He couldn't advance to Soldier trainee if he didn't pass all his classes. He'd have to repeat the whole second year just because of this one class! And he'd have to ride back on the transport with all those jeering bastards for whom passing was no problem. The thought was unbearable.

Cloud quickly dug into the breast pocket of his vest, removed the small transmitter, and with a flip of the blade from his pocket knife popped the battery out.

_crackle_ "Strife, your signal just dropped off my monitor."

"Yes sir."

"Did you disable you're transmitter, cadet?"

"Yes sir. I believe there's no time limit stated for this test. I want to finish."

"We are not waiting for you, Strife!" Now the hooting and hollering was getting so loud he could hardly hear Danzen. He could see him though, in his mind's eye. Red as a beet he'd be by now.

"So leave," Cloud said.

"Suit yourself, cadet," Danzen snarled. "Have a nice Monday."

Cloud threw his radio as hard as he could into the trees and sat down on a log, working to get his own anger under control. He wasn't terribly concerned about dying out here. The weather was good, he knew he could find water, and it was a (relatively) monster free zone, that's why it was used for cadet exercises. And he knew he was somewhere north of Midgar; even he could navigate a straight line and hit that enormous city. Once there he could ride a train back to ShinRa. Although Route 12 would be closer, if he could find it he could hitch a ride and be back in hours instead of a day and a half.

"Have a nice Monday," he muttered darkly. Not only was Danzen an ass, he thought himself funny.

Monday.

Cloud jerked up with a start. Monday! He had donation today! In three hours!

"Shit, shit, shit," he repeated as he ran after the radio. It took him almost five minutes of hunting to locate it in the thick underbrush. But after several tries he couldn't raise the transport. They had in fact left him. He wondered what the General would think when he didn't show for donation. None of the scenarios that ran through his mind were good, but the sooner he could get to him and explain the better. He pulled out his map and studied it. He thought he was south and west of the road, and he couldn't be a more than a few miles from where it dipped closest to the training area. That's where the pickup point was. But if he missed the bend he'd be going miles extra, he could even miss it entirely if he missed to the north. He got out his compass and started to take a bearing based on his best guess. Then he put it away. He never got anything but lost with that thing. He made a mental image of the map in his head, and tried to feel where he had gone and where he was, feel the world around him, and the bend in the road.

"I need the bend in the road," he said softly, looking into the clear sky, "I need it to get to Sephiroth."

He shut his eyes and felt the breeze on his face and heard it blow through the trees, then he began to walk.

ccccccccccccc

Sephiroth made it a point to arrive early for the third day of donations. He hadn't seen Cloud over the weekend and had been thinking about him quite a bit. Not just his erotic musings, but he wanted to know how the boy was doing. Several times he had resisted the temptation to stroll over and look at the cadets, but he knew his appearance would cause a terrific disturbance. So he had sent Zack, and was now subjected to needling from the Soldier about how he was using him as his "love spy." Aggravating as that was at least Zack had been able to report that Cloud's condition was good, he continued to excel in swordwork, his hand-to-hand still suffered from his small stature but he was learning to compensate, and that he was apparently some sort of navigational idiot. His group had a field orienteering test this morning and Sephiroth wondered how he had fared.

He had also checked the mako level of Cloud's batch of cadets with the heated interest of a gambler checking race results. He was both proud and dismayed to see Cloud had bumped up to a 30, top of his class including the injection group. Proud because he figured he should be depositing more mako than any other Soldier, dismayed because once an organic hit about 100, the point when their eyes started the first glimmer of shine, they could usually tolerate the processed mako from the labs. At this rate he would maybe have only two or three more weeks with the boy.

The donor group was one short today, even including himself. It couldn't be helped; he had to send a bunch of guys down to the lower plate at noon to handle a disturbance. One of the cadets was going to miss out. Not Cloud though, Sephiroth smiled to himself, even if Cloud could afford to skip the most.

"We've only got ten today," he told Sgt. Bushere.

"That's OK, we're short one too."

Sephiroth scanned the cadets, no bright blond heads.

"Who?" Sephiroth asked, although he knew damn well who.

"Strife. I don't know where he is, he was at roll call this morning. His group had a field practice today, but they're all back now. Looks like he just didn't show up for donations."

Sephiroth scowled at him, and the sergeant thought he'd hide out too if he thought the General might select him for a third time in a row. Poor kid was probably traumatized as hell.

"Who's the leftover?" Sephiroth asked, looking at the lone cadet on the bench after the others had all gone off. He was a tall, lanky kid with a robust, dark complexion.

"Anthony Largas," Basher said, handing over the clipboard. Sephiroth looked over the kid's stats; his level was 14, one of the lower marks. He couldn't afford to skip if he wanted to keep up with his classmates.

"Come with me, son." Sephiroth said. He headed down those same corridors with the boy in tow, his mind preoccupied with Cloud, and why he hadn't come.

cccccccccccccccccccccccccccccc

Once the boy Anthony was taken care of Sephiroth went immediately back to his office and pulled up the cadet training schedule. Field orienteering test, Company B, 10am this morning. That must have been Cloud's company, Zack had said Cloud was navigating in the field today. He looked up the current Nav instructor then headed over to Lt. Danzen's cubical.

There was quite a ruckus in the Second Class area, apparently coming from right where he was headed. Zack Fair was giving Danzen an earful, a high decibel one at that. One thing you could always say about Zack- he was loud. The rest of the area was empty, the other Second Classes no doubt making themselves scarce.

Then, unbelievably, he heard Danzen yelling back. He didn't have the same earsplitting volume, but he was clearly arguing with his superior officer.

"The only reason you're giving me shit over this, Zack, is that he is your favorite!"

Sephiroth would have liked to see how this played out, but when he caught sight of Zack it was clear from his body language that he was about to attack the other man.

"What's going on here?" Sephiroth demanded.

Danzen shrunk back and lowered eyes that Sephiroth could see glowed mako green. Zack, also greened up, crossed his arms over his chest and continued to glower at Danzen.

"Disagreement, sir," Danzen answered, seeing as how both sets of eyes were now on him.

"You are out of line, Soldier, your little disagreement has earned you a week's probation for insubordination."

Danzen looked off to the side, clearly exasperated.

"Roll your eyes at me one more time like that and you'll get guard duty at the Northern Crater as well. Do you understand me?"

"Yes sir," Danzen said, clearly working hard to keep both eyes and face neutral.

"Zachary?" Sephiroth turned to face the still angry First Class.

"He left Cloud out in the field," Zack said tersely.

Sephiroth's eyes flicked over to Danzen a little too quickly to match the rest of his controlled demeanor.

"You left a cadet out in the field? I suggest you explain yourself."

Danzen took a deep breath; the General was clearly angry. He needed to be clear, concise, and look respectful, but he was having a bit of trouble while the man who controlled his professional prospects, not to mention his immediate health, glared at him like that.

"Cadet Strife failed for the third time to arrive at the pickup point. I radioed to him that we would direct him home using his locator transmitter, at which point he disabled it."

"And why would he do that?" Sephiroth's look darkened.

"He was on the verge of failing the class and wanted to finish. I told him we wouldn't wait for him and the little imp said 'fine, leave' so I left him. You'd have done the same Zack!"

"Never!" Zack made half a lunge forward but found a strong hand laid on his chest, stopping his progress. He looked up to see Sephiroth, eyes glinting in amusement and a small curl at each corner of his mouth.

"I would have been sorely tempted myself," Sephiroth said, greatly easing Danzen's distress. "But the fact remains that you have lost a cadet that was under your command, and you have no idea where he is."

The gravity of this seemed to sink in to Danzen for the first time.

"If he's smart he'll head south, it's a longer haul but he's guaranteed to hit Midgar," Danzen said.

"And if he heads north he walks right out of the monster free zone and probably never finds the road!" Zack said

"Why would he head north?" Danzen said.

"I dunno, because he can't navigate?"

"Enough," Sephiroth interrupted his bickering officers. "If he's gone south there's nothing we can do tonight. If he's stayed put or gone north he should be in the vicinity of Route 12. You said his radio was still functional?"

"Yes sir, his transmitter may be operational as well, if he just popped the battery." Danzen answered.

"You're going back out to the pickup point and see if you can raise him on radio or pick up his transmitter. You will continue up and down Route 12 until I have you relieved in the morning by the search crews."

"Yes sir," Danzen managed to say once he had closed his gaping mouth.

"That cadet better be found by tomorrow and if anything has happened to him you are going to want to get as far away from me as you possibly can." The cold ferocity in Sephiroth's voice caused Danzen to take a step backwards.

He turned and leaned his head towards Zack on his way out.

"Go with him, Zachary," Sephiroth said, and was gone.

Danzen let out the breath he'd been holding. "Since when does he give a damn about cadets?" he asked.

"It's something new," Zack answered, his tone still hostile.

"Look, sir, I'm sorry. For mouthing off to you like I did."

Zack continued to glare at Danzen.

"I've just had a really trying day. That kid Strife is so much trouble, he makes me crazy."

Zack sighed and figured he'd better forgive and forget. Danzen wasn't the only one Cloud was making crazy.

cccccccccccccccccccccccccccc

"Where've you been, Cloud? You missed dinner. You missed donations." Anthony was already in his bunk, studying for his battle tactics class.

"I know," Cloud said, dropping his gear onto the floor next to his own bunk. He was muddy and sweaty and he wanted shower. He wanted to sleep. He wanted to see General Sephiroth. More than that, he wanted to fall into the man's arms, borrow a tiny bit of Sephiroth's strength because he had none left himself. Never mind the General had not so much as given him a hug, let alone held him.

"Hey, guess what, I got the General."

"What?" Cloud stopped in middle of removing his field vest.

"For donation, I thought I was going to miss this one because they were short donors and I was kind of left over, but then I got to go with him. You were right man, smooth as silk, easiest one I've had so far."

Cloud stared at a spot over Anthony's head, unable to look at him.

"Did you... get the backrub?"

"Oh yeah, that was pretty good, all the while the General telling me to relax, and stroking himself up so when the time came just one or two jabs and it was nap time." Anthony snapped his fingers and grinned.

"Did he touch your head and tell you sweet dreams when he left?"

"Uh, no, he didn't say anything like that. What's up Cloud, you're not... jealous, are you?"

Cloud looked at his friend, trying not to show hurt in his face but unable to keep the redness out of it. Then he sat on his bunk and his eyes sank to the floor.

"I asked him and he agreed to be my sponsor," Cloud said.

"Cloud, that's great, you couldn't get a better sponsor, but dude, don't get this all mixed up in your head." Anthony leaned close to Cloud. "I know how you are; I mean I've known a long time."

Cloud shot him an angry look.

"But we just do this for awhile and we're done. Gets us where we need to go. It's not like... love or anything. And besides, he's the_General."_

"I know. I'm just so... tired."

"Strife! I need to see you!" Basher hollered from across the barracks.

Cloud sighed. He'd been AWOL for almost five hours, he should have expected this.

Basher shut his office door behind them and gave Cloud a most peculiar look.

"Cloud, the General has ordered me to let him know when you returned. He would like to see you."

Clouds heart almost jumped before being jolted back by the unbidden mental image of Sephiroth with Anthony, his friend. A place that should have been Cloud's if only he had shown up for donation.

Basher studied the boy's unhappy face. It was well known General Sephiroth had broad tastes, but he'd never known him to show interest in a cadet before. And the poor kid, what could he do? He was a helpless cog in the power structure, and Basher wasn't much more, not when it came to dealing with the General. But if he could do something he would.

"Look son, I haven't told him you're here yet. I can not call him tonight, and keep you assigned away from him as much as possible the next few days, but I don't know what I can do about your donation schedule. Maybe we can get you a sponsor and he'll forget about you."

Cloud stared at his sergeant, confused. Then it slowly dawned on him. Basher thought the General's attentions were abusive, and was actually trying to help him. This put a whole new light on the gruff, sadistic man. He almost laughed.

"Sergeant, I appreciate what you're trying to do. But General Sephiroth _is_ my sponsor. Or at least he was before I missed today. I asked for him. I want to see him. I need to see him."

"Then why did you not show up for donation today?"

"It was an accident!" Cloud looked at the floor, unhappy. "I got left out in the field this morning."

"Oh," Basher said, a new idea occurring to him. Maybe General Sephiroth was just worried about the boy. He picked up the phone, dialed the General's extension, and let him know Cloud was there. His eyebrows shot up as he concluded the call.

"He's coming here, maybe ten minutes." Basher regarded Cloud. He was an odd kid, and he was reminded that the General himself was plenty odd. Maybe they suited each other.

cccccccccccccccccccccccc

Cloud went back to his bunk to finish stowing his gear, and to wait. Anthony insisted on hearing everything that happened during the field exercise, not a story Cloud was happy about telling but it at least took his mind of other things.

"Cadet Strife." A loud and distinctive voice rang out from the doorway. Anthony recognized it immediately and shot up, raising his eyebrows at Cloud. Most of the other cadets had to look before understanding who the voice belonged to at which point they also came to attention, several falling out of their bunks in their haste. Cloud rose slowly and went to him, where he was motioned back inside Basher's office. Basher was nowhere in sight; the General presumably had dismissed him.

"Are you alright, Cloud?" Sephiroth took in Cloud's disheveled appearance, face and clothes spotted with mud, sweat plastered hair, and forearms covered in small scratches from bushwhacking. He reached over and plucked a dry leaf from the blond hair and flicked it aside.

"Fine, sir," Cloud answered, not meeting Sephiroth's eyes.

"You made good time getting home; you must have hit the road."

"I hit the pickup point, sir. I'd have been back sooner but it took awhile to thumb a ride. I didn't mean to miss our appointment." There was a pause while Cloud worked his jaw with no sound coming out. "Are you angry? Are you... going to stop being my sponsor?" he asked finally.

"No, of course not." Sephiroth was unhappy that the boy wouldn't meet his eyes, and he realized one of the reasons he liked Cloud was that he usually did so. Something else was wrong and it was possible that the cause was obvious, at least to someone else. Given Sephiroth's deficiencies in his social training he never really knew when one of these things was obvious or not. He usually just went with keeping his face neutral and guessing. So he guessed.

"If you hit the pickup point, that's technically a pass for the field exercise, although maybe some kind of record for slowness. I'll make sure Danzen knows."

"Thank-you, sir," Cloud said, still not looking up.

Sephiroth studied the boy, puzzled. He said thank-you, but his tone did not indicate gratitude, he was still upset. That guess hadn't hit it. Normally in those cases he just doled out punishment to whatever Soldier was vexing him. But in Cloud's case he actually wanted to know what was going on.

"Is something wrong, Cloud?"

Cloud finally looked up at him, and Sephiroth found himself mesmerized by that intense, blue stare. And the mix of emotions in those eyes was so muddled he had no chance of sorting it out. He picked out a hint of one that he was good at identifying: defiance. He was good at reading that one because Soldiers were by nature aggressive creatures and he felt the need to catch it early and beat it out of them when he saw it. But again, Cloud made him feel differently. He had to work not to smile. The kid was adorable angry.

"Cloud?" he prompted.

"As my sponsor I take donation only from you?" Cloud asked.

"That's the way it works." Sephiroth acknowledged and dismissed an adrenaline spike that accompanied the memory of seeing Cloud almost selected by Niven.

"I guess it doesn't work both ways, then." Cloud dropped his eyes back to the floor, his voice defeated and bitter.

Sephiroth puzzled again. He followed the leap that this attitude was due to the cadet he donated for earlier. That boy and Cloud had been talking together when he came in. But as for the reason behind it, he was back to guessing. Logically it might be a breach of the informal agreement if the sponsor were to spread himself elsewhere and be unable to donate. Perhaps Cloud was concerned he wouldn't get the mako he was promised. But 'concerned' didn't seem to fit the boy's posture. 'Pissy' was more accurate. Maybe he was...

jealous?

Sephiroth was unsure. He suspected a guy like Zack would have figured this out by now. All he had was another guess. Time to test.

"Cloud, are you concerned that I've spent myself?" he watched the boy's for reaction; none.

"Or is it that you want me all to yourself?" Sephiroth was unaware that his question came out accusatory, even sarcastic, but he got the result he needed. Cloud visibly flinched and moved his face away from Sephiroth.

Now the older man smiled. Jealous. He had no idea whether it was reasonable or not for Cloud to be jealous; he would ask Zack later. But at the moment he didn't much care. He was enticed by the whole idea, because as far as he knew he'd never had anyone be jealous over him before. And hadn't he himself been jealous just a few moments ago, thinking of Cloud with another?

He laid his hand under Cloud's chin and lifted his face gently but firmly up until the boy looked at him.

"I'll make you a deal, Cloud. I'll donate to you, and you alone, if you come with me now."

Cloud didn't answer. They stared, each unable to read the other. Then Cloud slowly nodded his head.

ccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccc

He followed Sephiroth, once again watching that wall of hair in front of him, expecting he was going to get his donation for the day. And he was grateful, he really was. And hadn't the man just promised he would be the only one? But somehow he didn't want to go. He didn't want to go back to that room that Sephiroth had just shared with Anthony only a few hours before. He didn't want to be 'donated' to at the moment.

Cloud looked up and realized during his mullings that he hadn't paid attention to where they were going. _Shit, Strife, no wonder you're always getting lost_ he chided himself. He looked around and tried to get a feel for where he was. They definitely weren't headed towards the same area. They were in... the main building? The big tower? They were passing through a fancy lobby, marble floors and polished dark wood, an enormous reception desk now shut down for the night. Shiny elevator doors loomed in front of them. He looked around with mouth agape. He'd never been in here before.

"Sir, where are we going?"

Sephiroth looked back with a sly smile. "That wasn't part of the deal, now was it?"

Cloud stopped, looking a little alarmed. Sephiroth ran one hand over the back of Cloud's head and let it rest on the nape of his neck, squeezing a little to encourage the boy forward into the elevators. Cloud gulped, thinking he sometimes forgot who he was dealing with. Sephiroth inserted a key card into the control pad and pressed the button for number 34, one of the grayed out floors not normally accessible. Cloud wondered what was up so high in the tower, executive stuff he presumed, and it occurred to him for the first time that Sephiroth wasn't just their General, he was also a high ranking ShinRa official.

On the ride up Sephiroth smiled to himself. The range of facial expressions on this kid was delightful. He let himself wallow in the thought of Cloud's desire to have him to himself, feeling a peculiar scintillating lightness in his chest. That thought alone was going to keep him entertained for days.

He let his hand slide to Cloud's opposite shoulder and looked down at those blue eyes, again unable to sort out all the feelings shown there. He wanted to learn to read every one. And he wanted Cloud, sexually. But he wouldn't pounce on the kid tonight; he'd had a rough day. What he wanted most was to see him, hear his voice, to feed him maybe.

The elevator door opened with a ding and it was a moment before Sephiroth realized he had forgotten to step out. He was still caught up in Cloud's eyes. He jerked his mind back into the organized state where it belonged, shaking his head slightly.

Cloud followed Sephiroth to down a hallway where the General opened a door with what looked like the same key card. And again he was ushered in first. Cloud suspected he was just going to have to get used to that.

The lights came on as soon as Cloud entered, and he stood frozen on a tiled landing about eight feet on a side. The rest of room might as well have been a sea of piranha infested waters. The carpet was almost white, the walls pristine and expensively decorated, the scene immaculate. Black leather furniture. The place looked so much like the General himself that it had to be his quarters. Cloud leaned over to see a part of the kitchen. Black marble counters. Stainless steel appliances.

He looked up to find Sephiroth studying him, his boots already off and tucked neatly by the door. Cloud wondered how he did that so quickly and quietly, and bent to untie his own. He stumbled slightly pulling them off, a fine time for his body to decide to be clumsy. He heard the General give one of those soft chuckles. At least he was still entertaining the man.

"Are you hungry?" Sephiroth asked, "I think you missed dinner."

Cloud wanted to say no; it was awkward enough just being here, but his stomach betrayed him with a loud growl.

"I'll fix you something." Sephiroth was heading into the very clean room, a very muddy Cloud tiptoeing after him, afraid if he moved too much dirt would fly off of him.

"Why don't you get cleaned up?" Sephiroth led him down a hallway, past a perfectly good guest bathroom, into the master suite bath. Cloud barely had a chance to gawk into the bedroom before his attention was grabbed by the bath. It was at least as big as his bedroom back home, full of marble and tile and big mirrors. There was a jetted tub in the corner. Cloud's mind raced off thinking of all the delicious things they could do in there, and then Sephiroth was dropping a set of towels on the counter for him. He left and shut the door, but not all the way.

"What is it with him and the bathroom door?" Cloud muttered to himself. He went to push the door all the way home, but worried it might offend the General in some way, like he didn't trust him, although what there was left not to trust him against he wasn't sure. In the end he left it where it was. Maybe it was only a ventilation issue.

He stripped off his clothes and went over to glass enclosed shower. He studied the knobs for awhile but eventually had to resort to trial and error. It was the most complicated shower he had seen in his life. It had a regular shower head above, but also jets coming out of the wall that were, well, everywhere. He figured out the controls and found the jets weren't forceful, just peasant. Cloud wondered if this was why he had been brought to this shower rather than the other. If the General meant to donate tonight he really should prep, and some of these jets would be helpful. As he rinsed shampoo from his hair he wondered how he felt about that. Earlier he hadn't wanted it. But the last time had been nice, amazing really. The edge of his left ear prickled, remembering how the General's lips had brushed it before he had recovered himself. If only he could get more of that, more of the man than just what was helpful for the act. Cloud looked down. Clearly his body wanted it. He stared at his burgeoning erection, completely recovered from the day's earlier disappointments, like it was an alien part of his body. Sixteen was a ridiculous thing to be.

When Cloud got out of the shower his clothes were gone. They were replaced with something else, but he was disturbed that he neither saw nor heard Sephiroth come in. He knew he should have latched the door, but on second though it might not have mattered. He slipped into a pair of sweats and T-shirt that must have belonged to Sephiroth given how many times he had to roll up the waistband and how much of it hung past his feet. But the fabric was soft cotton, and clean, and as he walked back to the living area he did feel much more comfortable. Even if the soft fabric moving against his commando state did threaten him with arousal. He ignored it. There was no way he was hiding anything so attired.

The kitchen was empty and Cloud took a seat on a stool at the peninsula where the overhand could cover him from the waist down. Something smelled marvelous; he had almost forgotten what non-cafeteria food smelled like. He reached forward and picked the lid off a pan that was simmering on the peninsula cook top. It looked like proscuitto and fresh asparagus and mushroom. In another pot pasta was boiling.

"To you liking?" Sephiroth had emerged from an area to the side of the kitchen.

"Yes sir, I uh..." Cloud replaced the lid, "It smells great."

"Are you surprised I cook?"

"Yes sir," Cloud answered, feeling a little foolish for having any opinion on the matter at all.

"I only sort of cook. I have a trustworthy caterer that I get take out from several times a week." Sephiroth set a glass of water in front of Cloud. "Most of the time I just heat up." He drained the pasta and began to toss the ingredients together in simmering pan.

Cloud watched with fascination at the muscles jumping in the older man's forearms. He was dressed similarly to Cloud, in sweats and a T-shirt. He had never imagined the General so casually dressed.

"Sir? What did you do with my clothes?" Cloud ventured.

"This is one of the few units in the tower with a laundry attached. I threw them in the wash. They won't take long."

Cloud stared with mouth agape, the General doing laundry. He was hitting his limit of seeing the man do such shocking everyday things.

"Also surprised to find I do laundry?" Seprhiroth asked, noticing Cloud's expression. But he was smiling gently at the boy.

"I guess I am," Cloud said smiling back.

"I used to have it done by a service, but someone kept stealing my underwear."

Cloud exploded into a laugh, and unfortunately as he had just taken a mouthful of water he spit it out all over the counter.

"I'm sorry sir!" Cloud said, half choking, half laughing. Sephiroth grabbed a towel and wiped up the counter, a bemused expression on his face. The boy was lovely when he laughed. And his face was turning all red.

"Eat," he said as gruffly as he could, but the effect was ruined by his own undertones.

Cloud dived into plate set in front of him, reminding himself to chew. It might be a long time before he got real food again.

"What happened during your field test today, Cloud?"

Cloud swallowed. He was going to have to relate this story again.

"I don't know what I did wrong. I thought I followed every coordinate, calculated correctly, but I didn't wind up in the right place. It was my third time failing this exercise, and Danzen said I was going to fail the class. So I... refused to come in. I didn't want to give up. I'm sorry, sir, I know it was disrespectful."

"It was downright insubordinate. But there are some types of insubordination I'm more forgiving of than others. Refusal to give up is one of them." He looked Cloud, who had become somewhat sullen. He didn't like the sullen look. They would have to find some solution here.

"Zack tells me you are a navigational idiot."

Cloud winced. "I guess I am." _Thanks, Zack,_ he thought.

"If so how did you hit the pickup point?"

"I didn't navigate. I mean I didn't use the compass, I just sort of felt where I needed to go and went there."

"Directly, without circling or switchbacking?"

"Yeah. I never, ever, had trouble finding my way anywhere before. I mean before I moved here."

"Maybe you're an intuitive navigator."

"What?"

"I can't use a compass. I never learned how; waste of my time."

Cloud stopped, a forkfull of food still suspended on the way to his mouth. "But you led troupes through the Yohmian gap in Wutai, in the dark! You destroyed the battlement on the other side before they could move arms and materia out to the northern front! It was one of the turning points of the war, you're famous for it!"

"Am I?" Sephiroth frowned. That had been a nice bit of work, but he didn't know the general public was aware of it. He should really pay more attention to what was written about him.

"Well I didn't use conventional means to find our way. They would not have been adequate anyway. I navigate intuitively. I feel the land around me, overlay it with map information if I have it, ask the planet for a little help and then just move in the right direction. I've never met any one else who did that, except one old guy in Wuitai, and I had to kill him..." Sephiroth frowned at the memory. "But it sounds very much like what you do."

"It does."

"The trick is to interpret the military coordinates and map reading into that feeling. I can try and teach you if you like."

"Yessir! I'd like that very much!"

Cloud ate the rest of his dinner, happy, excited, and optimistic. The General seemed oddly content to watch him eat, and waited for him to finish before speaking again.

"Are you tired, Cloud?"

Cloud understood what Sephiroth was going to ask and flushed violently, a flush he knew was visible and gave him away just as much as his straining erection that was hidden by the counter. He never considered that Sephiroth might also be staying on his side of the counter for a reason.

"I was sir, but not any more."

"Cloud, I want you to be honest in telling me what you want, otherwise given my nature and my position my own desires will assert themselves over everything. You missed your donation today, would you like that now?"

"Yes sir," Cloud said now unable to look at him.

Sephiroth came over to Cloud's side of the counter and stroked his cheek until the boy looked at him. "And how much of this interaction do you want?"

"All of it, sir," Cloud said, now becoming a bit breathless.

Sephiroth smiled, leaned his head in and kissed Clouds parted lips, his tongue lightly moving into Cloud's mouth, teasing, encouraging Cloud to do the same. Cloud felt both of Sephiroth's hands snake up under his shirt and caress his sides, his back, and over his chest. Thumbs paused to flick over nipples that had become erect. Cloud gasped into the kiss.

But still he could not bring himself to put his hands on the General. Something about that felt... presumptuous.

Sephiroth broke the kiss and smiled. He took both of Cloud's hands and encouraged them to slide under his own shirt. He kissed Cloud more deeply as Cloud let his hands roam up and down Sephiroth's torso, running over smooth skin and ripples of muscle. Cloud was astonished at how hard the man's stomach was, and wondered if he'd ever get that built.

"Come on," Sephiroth said, nudging Cloud down the hallway, "the kitchen is hardly the place for our first time."

Cloud's mind swam. Their first time? Was he kidding? But then he realized they'd never even kissed one another, in fact nobody had ever caressed him so, or pressed their hips into his erection the way Sephiroth was doing. He wondered if in some weird way he wasn't still a virgin.

Cloud felt the backs of his legs hit the bed, and Sephiroth relieved him of his shirt. He was pushed backwards onto the bed and the General removed his own shirt, and when they kissed again Cloud was granted his earlier wish to feel his skin against Sephiroth's skin. It was every bit as heavenly as he imagined, but he hadn't imagined all this heat. Both their bodies were hot to the touch, and his erection was screaming for attention. He wiggled to the middle of the bed, wondering vaguely how this worked, if he could stay on his back facing Sephiroth. His hips were lifted and the sweats tugged off, and becoming bolder by the moment Cloud reached for Sephiroth's waistband and tugged his down as well. Both men kicked the last of their garments free and Sephiroth let his weight sink onto Cloud, their members straining against one another as hands caressed and lips found and lost each other in favor or necks or earlobes. Then Sephiroth lifted himself free and grabbed a pillow and slipped it under Cloud's lower back. Then he gently touched Cloud under both knees, and brought them upward until they almost touched his chest. Now Cloud understood how this was going to work.

Sephiroth seemed temporarily mesmerized by the sight. He trailed his fingers down the inside of Cloud's thighs, lingering in the hollow made where the tendons met his groin. He cupped his sack, high and tight to his body, with both hands, then ran his palms onto the shaft. Cloud was moaning now, the sound eliciting an echo of the same from Sephiroth. He let his fingers slide down to that small, soft, knitting of flesh. Pink. Sephiroth smiled. Cloud's anus was pink, delicate, perfect. He opened the drawer on the nightstand and pulled out a small bottle and flipped the poptop. Cloud knew what it was, and almost laughed at his relief that it was not a pump top like in the donation room. At least the General did not have such high volume traffic in here. But the fact that he had it at all... well he knew Sephiroth was no child.

His jealous musings were forgotten however as Sephiroth slid one lubricated finger inside of him and immediately pressed on that hardened knot that made Cloud loose his mind.

"Wha... what is that?" he asked.

Sephiroth looked at him, amused. "It's the back side of your prostate. Do you like it?"

"Yeah... You?"

Sephiroth looked at him for a moment, trying to be sure what Cloud was asking. Then laughed and kissed him.

"I do. But one thing at a time."

He took Cloud's right hand and laid it onto his own erection, spilling some of the lubricant there for him. Cloud's eyes widened, a little terrified to be handling his own pleasure in front of the General but on the whole too far gone to properly care. He stroked himself, remembered to try and wait, and then stroked himself again. He was running out of time, but luckily Sephiroth was already sliding inside of him, stretching him into a little discomfort, providing that delicious pressure, and running his free hand on Cloud's face and into his hair.

"Go ahead, Cloud, I'm ready," Sephiroth whispered, the sound so maddeningly enticing that Cloud exploded, the first shot hitting his chest and shoulder and the remainder pooling out onto his stomach. Sephiroth gripped both of Clouds thighs and with a few sharp thrusts released as well.

For a long moment neither moved while their bodies let go of their tension and their breath caught up with them. Then Sephiroth withdrew, rolled over to grab a Kleenex and cleaned off Cloud's chest and stomach while the boy watched through half lidded eyes, a dreamy smile on his face. Then he lay down and rolled Cloud over, pulling him into his arms.

"On your stomach, cadet," he said, kissing Cloud on the temple close to his eye.

"Yes sir," Cloud mumbled, already on his way to sleep.

ccccccccccccccccccccc

Cloud drifted back up into consciousness feeling oddly cold. No, he thought, that wasn't it. He had warm covers wrapped around him and was lying on the bed that was both firm and soft at the same time. Sephiroth's bed. He wasn't cold; he was alone.

Cloud wrapped his own arms around himself to replace those he was missing. It was a little after nine pm, so he'd only been asleep forty minutes. He looked around the room, no Sephiroth. The bathroom door was open, but of course that didn't mean the man wasn't in there given his open door habit. But the light was out. He could hear a soft sound from the living area – keyboard clicking. Cloud sat up and noticed the neatly folded pile at the foot of the bed. His clothes, washed and dried. He sighed. He supposed he was expected to dress. He was being booted out.

"Everything all right, Cloud?"

Cloud jumped, Sephiroth had appeared in the doorway, wearing some sort of wine colored silken robe. Somebody really needed to put a bell on that guy. Cloud tried to will himself to simply say 'yes sir' but it wouldn't come out. What was he expecting, anyway? Of course he would have to go, did he think he would be allowed to spend all night in the General's apartment?

"I thought I would get to stay," his mouth spoke despite himself, and he sat there astounded, wondering why he kept doing that. It was like he had no control over what he said around Sephiroth. He braced himself to hear the obvious statement – that he thought wrong.

But Sephiroth got back into the bed, pulled Cloud into his arms, and kissed one delicately pink ear.

"There's nothing I would like more than to keep you all night. But you've been enough of a spectacle for one day; I really think it better if you were in your rack tonight."

Cloud thought about it and nodded. He was right, of course. Cloud had been missing most of the day, then pulled out of the barracks by the General himself in the evening, his sergeant was still struggling with the question of whether Sephiroth was abusing him or not, and he was neglecting his friends of whom he had precious few. Anthony would be worried for him. Thom would want details (he wasn't going to get any), and his enemies would love nothing more than some extra material to harass him with.

"In the meantime," Sephiroth said, lying down so Cloud could roll onto his shoulder. "We can stay here for another fifteen minutes or so without you missing curfew. I'll take what I can; I only got up to get your clothes dried and to pull up our schedules on the network so we can get some training time scheduled together."

Cloud's stomach gave a small, happy lilt. The General was going to train with him. He was going to help him with that navigation problem. Maybe he would even do some sword practice with him, imagine that, Cloud Strife, nobody kid from nowhere, getting trained by the best swordsman in all the world. Part of his brain tried to tell him not to be ridiculous, but he sent it packing. Sephiroth was his lover; he was clear on that point now. They were each other's. And even if it was only temporary, he too was going to take what he could. And right now that was fifteen minutes.


	4. Some Time Alone

**Disclaimer: **I do not own FFVII or anything in it.

**A/N: I forgot to earlier thank reviewer ZR388 who dubbed this a "smutfic". Yes, that's so what it is. I love it. Smutfic.  
**

"Again? Cloud, you've seen him three times this week already." Thom and Cloud were at their bunks, packing their rucksacks. Today was Ambush Day- once a month cadets were assigned in groups of two or three to an undisclosed Soldier for an undisclosed activity. As such they couldn't prepare and nobody was sure exactly what to pack. Pack too much and risk being worn out by the weight under some heart attack inducing death run. Pack too little and risk not having a piece of gear on a survival trip. Except for Cloud, as Thom was learning, Cloud already knew where he was headed, or at least who he would be with. Cloud was slated for the General. By himself.

"He helps me with my navigation," Cloud said.

"Yeah, right, because he's a philanthropist."

Cloud considered his friend. Thom had an uncomfortable interest in his relationship with Sephiroth and he wasn't sure quite how to handle it.

"You're just jealous," Cloud said.

"Shit yeah." Thom sat on the edge of his bunk. "What's it like, Cloud? Being with him? I mean having a guy like him?"

Cloud fidgeted under Thom's intense look. But his friend's voice was so sincere, pleading almost, that he found he couldn't avoid answering altogether.

"It's bliss," Cloud said simply. "I think about him during the day and I feel happy, I remember the way his skin feels, or the way he smells. I hear him dressing down a Soldier in the hallway and wonder who he really is..." Cloud shook his head. "It's wonderful and confusing and exciting. And it's nice to be held, to be taken care of a little bit."

Thom let his back hit his mattress and stared at the ceiling.

"I'm lonely," he said.

Cloud stared. Thom, lonely? He had more friends than he had time to spend on them, and a large, interested family who constantly called and sent him care packages. Instructors loved him. Girls always approached him on their weekly night off, if they went into town. But if he understood Thom correctly he wasn't looking for a girl.

Cloud nudged Thom with his boot.

"Why don't you find somebody? Not like there's a shortage of guys around here."

Thom smiled. "Men. I like the older guys, but I don't get to interact with them much, not socially."

Cloud felt for him. He knew what it was like to feel lonely. Or at least he used to.

Then Thom popped up and smiled. "Except on Ambush day! A brand new Soldier every time, and I only have to share him with one or two other guys. Gotta go!" He made a swipe for Cloud's hair which the blonde avoided, grabbed his bag, and left.

cccccccc

Cloud stood outside of the entrance to the motor pool, the location his ambush card had specified. That's all the little cards passed out at breakfast ever said, just a location and a time. You showed up there, one or two or your fellow cadets arrived at the same point and time, and a Soldier scooped you up and took you to do whatever god awful thing he had planned. The point was to acclimatize the cadet to the unexpected, to teach him to think on his feet. But Cloud often wondered if it wasn't more of a game to keep Soldiers entertained. For the cadet, it was nerve wracking, tiring, and often painful.

Cloud knew he was with Sephiroth today, and that he would be alone, but he had no idea what they would be doing. Well, he hoped he had some idea, but certainly there would also be some sort of exercise as well. But he wasn't anxious about it. There was nothing he loved more than to put himself, literally and figuratively, in the General's competent hands.

"Good morning, cadet." Sephiroth came out of the motor pool office. "Give me your pack, please."

Cloud handed it over and Sephiroth disappeared into the building with it. When he returned it was bulging and quite a bit heavier. The General's pack by comparison was looking pretty slim.

"You're carrying some extra weight today, cadet." Sephiroth smiled a little at him and Cloud saw his hand twitch in his restrained desire to touch. Maybe his face, or hair, or the back of Cloud's neck, a spot the to which the older man seemed perpetually attracted. Cloud smiled as he shouldered the pack. The General was up to something.

They walked over to a large truck, the walls and ceiling of the cargo area made from a frame with canvas stretched over it. Metal benches lined the interior on both sides. A mixed group of Soldiers and regular army were tossing their duffel bags into the open back and jumping in. Sephiroth leapt lightly up and Cloud, a little less gracefully, followed. The interior immediately transformed as men jumped to their feet, dropping their bags, staring straight ahead and probably trying to recall exactly what foolish/offensive/obscene thing they had just said before noticing the General was in their midst. One duffel tumbled slowly and rather comically out of the back and hit the pavement with a soft plop.

"At ease," Sephiroth said. Cloud caught a hint of amusement in his voice that the others probably did not. Cadets weren't the only ones who got ambushed.

A First class grabbed the errant duffel and leapt into the truck.

"General!" he greeted Sephiroth with a polite smile. Dimples deeply marked both cheeks under his over-bright blue green eyes.

Cloud studied this new arrival. All of the First Classes treated Sephiroth with this same relaxed amiability, whereas the rest of the forces were nervous or even terrified. Cloud wondered if being First Class made them that way or if it was a requirement for promotion. There were only about a dozen First Classes, the cream of the armed forces. Cloud knew the four who were stationed regularly at Midgar by sight, and some of the ones from outlying areas. But this one was unfamiliar.

"Gavin," Sephiroth said with a nod.

Good grief, Cloud thought, Colonel Gavin McIntyre, commander in the Junon area, one of the more important posts in the ShinRa army.

"Are we taking you somewhere today, sir?" The colonel's eyes flicked to their packs.

"I believe this is on your way," Sephiroth handed the other man a slip of paper.

Gavin read it and nodded. He looked at Cloud.

"I see you have a pack mule with you. Must be Ambush day, today," he said, and smiled again.

Cloud couldn't help but smile back. A lock of reddish blond hair caught the breeze and flopped onto the colonel's forehead. Maybe good looking was another requirement for First Class.

"What's your name, kid?"

"Cloud Strife, sir."

"Where's your partner? Shouldn't there be two or three of you?"

Cloud looked up at Sephiroth, and was unhappy to find he was being frowned at slightly.

"Seems I have only the one," Sephiroth said.

"Yikes, sorry kid!" Gavin laughed. "Well it happens. I think the nerves alone from Ambush Day send some of them to the infirmary." He winked at Cloud and Cloud flushed, pretending he couldn't feel the waves of irritation coming off Sephiroth.

"We have everyone?" Gavin barked to the crowd in general. As he only heard 'yes, sirs' he banged on the window on the back of the truck's cab and motioned to the driver to start. The truck lurched forward and they all managed to get seated on a bench with their gear stowed under them. Gavin took a spot next to the General that was conspicuously empty and a bulky regular army guy sat on the other side of Cloud. Every man on the truck was bigger and older than him, and Cloud felt both small and conspicuous at the same time. He leaned subconsciously into Sephiroth, and felt the light reassuring touch of fingers against his side, hidden by Sephiroth's bicep as he folded his arms. The General was engaged in a conversation with his colonel, and the rest of the group was eerily silent. Cloud looked around at the men. Most of them were watching Sephiroth, some overtly, others whenever they felt they could get away with a good stare.

Cloud watched Midgar go by through the open end of the canvas. It took them a good hour to clear the city and get on to a less crowded highway. They were heading southeast and the terrain was becoming hillier. Climbing, Cloud realized as he popped his ears with a yawn. Heading towards the small mountain range that flanked Midgar to the south. The rest of the crowd had finally relaxed, some sleeping, some talking quietly amongst themselves. Cloud's butt was already sore from the hard metal seat and he wondered if these guys would ride all the way to Junon this way. He hoped he wouldn't be going all the way to Junon this way.

Cloud shifted in his seat to change the pressure pattern on his butt cheeks, and Sephiroth gave him a quick glance before going back to his conversation. Cloud wiggled again, and noticed he had attracted the attention of two Third Classes across from him. The one with amber eyes that borderlined on orange was staring at him. Cloud held the man's gaze, attempting to put a cold stoniness into his face the way Sephiroth did, resisting the urge to curl up into Sephiroth's side. Then orange eyes leaned close to his buddy and whispered something in the other Soldier's ear.

The scene that followed happened so fast that Cloud could only sort it out later. He never felt Sephiroth move, rather his warm bodily presence was just suddenly absent from his side. There was a blur of motion in front of him, and then orange eyes was gone. Sephiroth had apparently thrown the man out the back of the moving truck. And then sat back down.

"Shit! Halt!" Gavin whacked the window to the cab, and then he followed out the back with a tremendous jump, rolling as he hit the pavement and then trotting over to his downed man. When the truck stopped Sephiroth casually stood up, hopped out of the back, and strode towards the other two. Or more like glided, Cloud thought; he was an ethereal sight of silver and black leather moving on the side of the road, twenty pairs of eyes riveted to his back. Slowly some of the attention worked its way back to Cloud. Orange eyes's buddy glared at him darkly.

"Man overboard." The drawling, almost amused voice came from the front of their group, from the lone Second Class who looked like he was just waking up. He reached up behind his head and slid the glass open to the cab where the drivers were looking back as confused as everyone else.

"Back it up. And don't hit the General or you'll be one sorry son of a bitch for what little is left of your life." The Second Class, a dark, lanky fellow, walked to the back of the truck and hopped out when it stopped near the scene. He didn't approach though, he just stood there.

Cloud watched while the General and colonel McIntyre seemed to have a discussion while standing right over the motionless Soldier, who lay on his back. Cloud wondered if he was dead. Gavin had his head bowed and was shaking it from side to side in what was clearly an apologetic posture to whatever the General was saying to him. Then Sephiroth looked down and appeared to address orange eyes. His left foot was forward and... up. It looked like he had it resting on the man's shoulder. Or his neck. Something shined in Sephiroth's hand and he knelt down, and after a few moments the injured man sat up. He and Gavin abandoned him there, the colonel motioning to the lanky Second Class who helped orange eyes up and then back onto the truck.

Once moving again the two senior offices sat down and resumed their conversation as if nothing had happened. Orange eyes didn't look up once, and nobody else talked.

cccccccccccc

Cloud and Sephiroth got out at the side of the road in the middle of nowhere. They were foot of the mountain range, and Cloud felt a pang of homesickness like he'd rarely felt since leaving Nibelheim. When he lived in his small mountain town he never noticed the air, or the greenness, or the quiet. All he wanted from that place was to get out. Away from the boredom and small minded cruelty of the townspeople. Away from the stigma of an abandoned son of a faithless father. It took the pollution and noise and large scale violence of Midgar to make him develop any appreciation of the place.

"Seph?"

"Hmm?" The General was also looking off into the dense woods, also appreciating the change in scenery.

"What happened on the truck?"

Sephiroth looked at Cloud for a moment, and reached out to stroke one porcelain cheek.

"Cadets spend most of their time learning skills. And to some degree the command structure. But it isn't until Third Class that a Soldier really learns what's expected of him. What I expect. The first year is tough. Every Soldier belongs to me, and the respect and obedience of a Third Class must be absolute. Seconds are allowed more latitude, and I'm sure you've noticed First Classes treat me quite differently."

Cloud nodded.

"I trust my First Classes to not simply follow my orders but to question me where it might be needed. And also to bring the lower classes in line. A Soldier who behaves badly embarrasses his commander. That one is probably lucky I threw him out of the truck, maybe Gavin will take it a little easier on him for it. But I wouldn't care to be in his shoes tonight."

"What did he do?" Cloud asked.

"He made the mistake of thinking my ears are no better than his. That I wouldn't hear the disrespectful comment he whispered of me."

"I was kind of thinking the comment was of me."

Sephiroth smiled and kissed Cloud lightly. "You may have provided the impetus, but I assure you, I was the target."

Cloud felt a wave of fresh hostility for the man. Whatever sympathy he had for him evaporated in a protective, heated, flash. The idea that he maligned the General was infuriating; that he used Cloud to do it was intolerable. Cloud never wanted to be the source of discomfort for Sephiroth, and for this reason he kept his meetings with him as discreet as he could. Only Cloud's few friends knew, and they didn't talk, and as far as he knew only a few Soldiers knew as well. Zack said Soldiers also didn't talk loosely about the General, because a guy was like as not to get the crap beat out of him just for saying anything that might be construed as negative.

"You're not going to throw me out of a truck some day, are you?" Cloud asked, half teasing, half worried.

Sephiroth appeared to consider. "I'll have to have Zack do it."

Cloud smiled. He was pretty damn sure Zack Fair would not throw him out of a truck.

"Enough of this," Sephiroth said. "Here's a map of the area we are in, conveniently missing this road, and also a list of coordinate directions, much like you are given for Nav class field test. I want you to get us to the destination, I don't care how you do it or if you follow the specified route or not.

Cloud looked over the papers and grinned. Not just because he was confident he could do this, but because the distance was considerable. He was going to spend the entire day out in the woods with Sephiroth, just the two of them.

Cloud led and Sephiroth followed, their work together for the last week and a half paying off as Cloud cut his way through passes, avoided ravines, and even sniffed out a flat lunch spot off a ridge with a view.

"What did you select to pack for food?" Sephiroth asked.

"Shit bricks," Cloud said with a grimace, referring to the dense, protein packed energy bars that ShinRa supplied.

Sephiroth nodded. "Good choice, best bang for the weight and size. But I think you'll be sharing my lunch today." Sephiroth smiled and motioned for Cloud to hand over his pack.

"I've been carrying your lunch?" Cloud asked.

"Of course. Flatbread sandwiches, trail mix, and..." Sephiroth tossed Cloud an apple.

"Fresh fruit? I've been humping around fresh fruit?" Cloud wondered what else Sephiroth had loaded up his pack with but the older man wouldn't let him look. Cloud bit into the apple happily. Better in his stomach than on his back.

And it was absolutely gorgeous out here. A valley dipped below them in varied shades of green, a creek barely audible at its bottom. A hawk circled slowly overhead in a sky striped with wispy clouds. Cloud hadn't been in the mountains since he left home, all their field work had so far been in the plains to the north of Midgar. He chattered through lunch to Sephiroth about the mountains around Nibelheim, his childhood experienced there, his dreams, and the disappointments of his youth. When they finished eating Cloud realized that Sephiroth hadn't spoken much at all. He knew quite a lot by now about how the man operated and how he felt about things, but he knew precious little about the General's past.

"Where did you grow up, Seph?"

"Nowhere," Sephiroth answered, not looking at Cloud. "I was some kind of orphan adopted by ShinRa. I was raised in Hojo's laboratory. If you can call it being raised." Sephiroth gave a small laugh, but there was no humor in it. "I was poked and prodded, experimented on. Tortured, really. Made into the thing that I am."

Cloud shuddered. No wonder Sephiroth hated the labs.

"The first time I ever saw the outside," Sephiroth said, looking up at the sky, "I was about six. Hojo decided the artificial sunlight test lamps he had in the labs weren't adequate for his uses and wanted to start exposing my skin to the real sunlight. I forget the reason. What I do remember is being so terrified of the open sky that I screamed and screamed, and I grabbed onto Hojo's leg like an octopus. He peeled me off and knocked me to the ground, a look of disgust on his face. I laid there crying, the small rocks from the roof asphalt digging into my bared skin. That was the last time he ever touched me without me fighting back, and at six my mutated body was already pretty strong. So things got considerably more painful after that."

Sephiroth smiled, an odd mixture of resentment and wild eagerness on his face. He noticed Cloud's wide eyed stare and softened.

"I was fourteen before ShinRa decided they needed to make use of me. War was the first joy I ever knew. You wouldn't have liked me then, I wasn't very interesting." He smiled again, this time because he did find some humor in the memory. "If it didn't involve killing I didn't want to be bothered. But I had a number of good people who helped me. Some of my First Classes were with me in Wutai. Zack has been amazingly good for me. And I discovered something else as well." Sephiroth slid behind Cloud and wrapped his arms around him, pulling the cadet's weight onto his chest. "I wasn't abused sexually in the lab, not once. That whole area of expression was allowed to develop on its own, untouched and untainted by my other pains. And I had some good teachers."

"Who?" Cloud asked before he could stop himself.

Sephiroth didn't answer, and instead took to kissing Cloud's neck and earlobe.

"You're not going to tell me, are you?"

"Nope. It's not important anyway; death has separated us all."

This was said so matter of factly that Cloud allowed it to slip out of his mind. He wriggled happily under the persistent attention of Sephiroth's lips and pressed his back more firmly into the warm body behind him.

"You're leading this venture, Cloud. How much time do we get for lunch?"

Cloud would have desperately loved to give them an hour or so, but he knew better.

"None," he said. "We shouldn't risk not hitting the pickup point before nightfall."

"That is the correct answer," Sephiroth said, smiling and handing Cloud his pack.

The returned to their trek, Cloud again in the lead. They lost a little time as they opted to go around a small valley filled with fireweed. Neither of them could "feel" fireweed when picking out the course, and Sephiroth maintained it was of little importance, because if need be they would trudge through it. But neither wanted to be itching and burning for the next two days.

At less than an hour before sunset Cloud stopped. Right in the middle of a forest he stopped. This should have been the final destination, but here they were, smack dab in the middle of a bunch of trees. And they were out of time to boot. It was a painfully familiar feeling to Cloud.

"I'm sorry," he looked up at Sephiroth, crestfallen. "I really thought I had it."

Sephiroth smiled. "Take another twenty steps forward, cadet."

Cloud did so and found the forest opened up suddenly into a sizable glade. It was pretty, the creek he'd been hearing ran at its far end, but it was still the middle of nowhere. Sephiroth dropped his pack and stretched. Cloud followed suit.

"This is it," Sephiroth said.

Cloud looked around. Where was their pickup? They were still deep in the mountains; he'd been expecting a forest road and a vehicle. Maybe a helicopter was coming; the glade was plenty big for one.

"I come here often," Sephiroth said. "To get away from the noise and foul air of Midgar. To reduce my stress a little. Although I haven't come out here in a few weeks. Haven't needed to." He stroked Cloud's cheek. "Open up your pack; see what else I've put in there."

Cloud did as he was told and pulled the bulkiest of the unfamiliar items. It was a tent.

"We're staying?" he asked, a little alarmed but mostly excited.

"Yup. There's not a monster within twenty miles. I'm afraid I've cleaned them all out."

"You're not worried about me not being in my rack all night?"

"Nobody's in their rack tonight. It's overnight Ambush. Pitch that tent, please. I'm going to get some firewood."

When Sephiroth returned with an armload of wood Cloud had still not managed the tent. Cloud wasn't sure if he was just stupid or... well actually stupid felt like the only explanation. Sephiroth looked at him, confused.

"This is one of the standard two-man models, cadet."

"I cannot figure out where this pole goes." Cloud waved the offensive pole about. "I've never seen this model before."

Sephiroth chuckled and helped him pitch the tent. As they worked he had to admit to himself now that he paid attention that there was nothing intuitive about this tent's design. No wonder Cloud was baffled. Next he brought Cloud over to the firewood pile and already well used fire scar.

"Alright," he said, "Next we need fire."

"What method?"

"Your choice. I assume it won't be firespell since cadets typically have no materia."

"But I bet you have some." Cloud eyed Sephiroth's person, then his pack.

"Yes, but you'd have to fight me for it."

"We could wrestle."

Sephiroth smiled at the boy and Cloud could see lust flare up in his eyes. "We can wrestle later. But please don't tell me you didn't pack anything to make a fire."

"Flint and steel," Cloud said, and dug in his pack again. What he came out with was a bottle of red wine. And a cold wrapped bundle. It was cold because it had a frozen icepack in it. And steaks. Expensive ones. Cloud looked at Sephiroth, mouth hanging open.

"I guess we really do need that fire," he said.

Sephiroth smiled again.

ccccccccc

Hours later, stuffed with steak and sipping wine out of small plastic cups, the two men sat gazing at the sky, talking of the host trivialities that make each life unique, about the larger dreams and ambitions that give world its sparkle, and the events that give a man depth by punching deep wells of sorrow into his soul. Cloud relaxed into Sephiroth's embrace, his heart happy, knowing that when they finally abandoned this small paradise of mountain air and wood smoke and conversation the night would not be over for them. Not this night. This night stretched before them like none before had. They had the entire night.

"It's going to rain," Sephiroth said. "I think technically I'm supposed to leave you out in the rain, seeing as how you didn't pack your own tent."

Cloud elbowed him lightly. "I carried your tent."

"Hmm. Well I guess you can share, then."

A raindrop hit Cloud on the nose, and both men gathered themselves up and crawled through the small opening. As Cloud took his boots off he discovered he couldn't sit up at the foot of the tent. Only the end near the door allowed that, and he was constantly rubbing his elbows along the sides of the tent walls.

"Are you sure this is a two-man?" he asked.

"I'm sure. Tent, lightweight pack, nylon, two-man."

"Two affectionate men," Cloud said.

"Well we happen to be two affectionate men," Sephiroth grabbed Cloud and laid him alongside of him and with movements that reminded Cloud of a snake shedding it's skin inside a narrow tunnel Sephiroth helped him out of his clothing. He helped Sephiroth do the same until they were both lying with the length of their bodies pressed skin to skin. There was something exciting about not having anywhere to go that would allow him _not_ to touch Sephiroth in some way. Outside the rain started in earnest, a loud steady thwopping noise onto the rainfly.

"Not much room in here to work," Cloud said.

"Let's do something new."

Cloud smiled, so far he had done at least one thing new every time he'd been with Sephiroth.

"We haven't spooned yet," Sephiroth said. "It's perfect for this tiny tent."

Cloud smiled. At least he had heard about this one. He rolled to put his back to Sephiroth, enjoying the feel of the man's broad, hard chest against him. Sephiroth kissed him on the back of the neck, causing goose bumps to run on his arms, and he felt the tip of Sephiroth's erection slide a little between his legs and rub along the ridge just in front of his anus. He smiled and rotated his head to get a kiss on the lips. Cloud's own erection was straining hard in the darkness as Sephiroth's hand caressed up and down the front of Cloud's body. Long fingers dipped into the coarse hair that encircled Clouds sex, gently cupped his tight and rounded testicles before finally gripping Cloud's stiff, throbbing member.

Cloud moaned and all the muscles in Sephiroth's torso tightened. How he loved hearing that boy moan, the sound of it caused sparks to fly around in his brain. He wanted to claim him right now, make him yell with desperate pleasure. He nipped Cloud's ear lightly just to hear the surprised gasp, reached over to his bag and retrieved a small bottle. The lubricant was as chilled from the cool mountain air and Cloud yelped a bit and laughed as Sephiroth's fingers pushed between his cheeks and rubbed the slick liquid across his opening. He gave a small testing push and inserted two of his fingers part way to make sure Cloud was relaxed. The he gently slipped his entire length inside. Cloud's tight body squeezed his sensitive organ, pulling the skin as he dived and retreated, all the while stroking Cloud intently on the other side. Before long the boy's breathing became panting, he gasped, clenched his teeth and hands, and yelled.

"Aghngh, SEPH! Seph! Seph..."

He was whimpering by the time Sephiroth climaxed, pushing himself hard against Cloud's body, burying his face into Cloud's neck.

"Oh, Cloud," Sephiroth sighed. His upper hand was full of lubricant and Cloud's fluid, and he gave Cloud another squeeze just to see him jump in his post orgasmic sensitivity.

"Quit!" Cloud jerked and laughed. Sephiroth did it again, and got a squeeze in return that caused him to jump a little and slide out of his lover.

Sephiroth cleaned up his hand and scanned for other deposits of Cloud's semen. The kid shot off with such distance that he was always hunting globs of the stuff down. Tent wall. Sephiroth swiped it clean and wrapped his arm around Cloud, pulling them tight together. A spot of wetness crept onto his thigh.

"I'm not on my stomach," Cloud said dreamily.

"I think you can afford to waste a little. Especially tonight." Sephiroth grabbed another wipe for the spillage between them.

"We going to do that again?" Cloud smiled.

"I hope so. I've been looking forward to tonight all week."

"Bastard," Cloud said "And I had no idea."

"That's why it's called ambush," Sephiroth said, tugging on the back of Cloud's ear with his lips. He wanted to roll Cloud over and continue, but he could feel Cloud's fatigue. He had worked him really hard today, making him carry all that gear, and now the kid should really sleep for awhile.

Cloud slept, but as the hours passed he was aware of the delicious feeling of lying so close with Sephiroth. When one moved, the other moved. Unconscious hands caressed arms and sides and hips, and when either of them initiated a rollover the other followed, so that they were they were in continuous front-to-back, spooned contact. Eventually Cloud came all the way awake to find his left arm draped over Sephiroth, his hand held and pressed into the sleeping man's chest, the top side of his lengthening erection pressing into the cleft of Sephiroth's muscular backside. He wondered what it felt like, to penetrate. He wanted to know, but didn't want to ask. Cloud lay still, trying not to wake his companion. But the sensation of the warm skin and the knowledge of where his erection was pressing caused his flesh to stiffen further and move. The hand covering his squeezed.

"Do you want to try that?" Sephiroth's smooth voice filled the darkness.

Of course Sephiroth knew immediately that he had been awake. The man could always tell if Cloud was awake, or tense, or asleep, merely from the sound of his breath and the feel of his body.

"Yes," Cloud answered shakily.

On long arm reached above their heads and fished around for the bottle of lubricant that had wedged itself in a corner of the tent. Sephiroth flipped the top and poured some into Cloud's hand. Cloud stroked himself with the fluid, no half-erection now but full and hard, stretching the skin tight. He slid his fingers between warm cheeks and caressed some of it onto the puckered opening. Sephiroth jerked a little.

"Shiva, that stuff's cold," he said.

Cloud smiled. "I know." He continued to probe with his fingers, testing, pressing, inserting a little ways. He had done this part before, seeking that small knot of pleasure for his lover, but never anything like this next part. He shifted himself up, then down, trying to figure out the right position, then finally pressed the tip of his erection against the opening until it slipped in. He stopped there, feeling the amazing heat. He moved the tip in and out, savoring that sensation, then pushed himself all the way in. He began a steady stroke, then remembered he should reach around and pay attention to his lover. But he had trouble thrusting without that hand to stabilize him. This was considerably trickier than Sephiroth made it look.

"Don't worry about me," Sephiroth said, and moved the boy's hand to his hip.

Cloud let himself fall into his own mind, concentrating only on the pleasure, that wave that rose and ebbed, repeating until it built to a crescendo that caused his body to jerk and made him give a single cry before falling completely limp and lifeless. And oddly unfulfilled. Something was missing. Sephiroth separated from him and took Cloud in his arms, rolling him over so the lighter man lay on top of him.

That was it; that's what he had been missing. Sephiroth. Not just his arms, but somehow he missed out on all of the man, so entirely had he been inside himself. Sephiroth didn't seem to have this problem when he did the same to Cloud. Even when he was behind him his intensity and focus on Cloud seemed to increase during and the act.

"That felt good, but I don't think I get the same thing out of it that you do."

"Mm hmm."

"And I don't like that you can't hold me."

"Mm hmm"

"What's with the mm hmms? You knew this?"

"You're a submissive, Cloud. Part of your pleasure comes from being held and cherished and filled. And in giving. I on the other hand need to feel I possess you; I enjoy that flush of protective feeling I get when I enter you, and the sensation that I am swallowed whole by you. That I'm completely lost in you. It's fine to do something different once and awhile for fun, but I don't think it will ever be a staple for you."

Cloud frowned. It sounded exactly correct, but something about it bothered him. "How am I going to be a good Soldier if I'm submissive?"

Sephiroth laughed. "It has nothing to do with your Soldiering. Maybe the label is a misnomer. We have several guys who are absolute terrors on the battlefield, but they are 'submissive' in bed."

Sephiroth kissed Cloud to keep him from thinking about it too much and rolled him over onto his back. "Now if you don't mind, you've left me hanging a bit here."

Cloud smiled. Yeah, he wanted this.

**A/N: I've put up a lot of tents in my time and still I occasionally bump into one I can't figure out. The owner always laughs at you when that happens.**


	5. Shine

**Disclaimer: **I do not own FFVII or anything in it.

**A/N: I keep meaning to slow down on this story, but I'm obsessed. I know the whole thing has not been very polished, but you guys seem OK with it.**

"You're saying I'm bad for him?" Sephiroth frowned at Zack. Maybe there was such a thing as giving his First Classes too much latitude.

"No, Seph, hell no, It's just that you can be pretty hard on a guy. I mean you've hurt my feelings plenty, not even meaning to. And that's OK, I'm your Soldier and I'm robust to begin with. But Cloud... Cloud's something different. His relationship with you is different."

Sephiroth stared at the blotter on his desk with his chin in his palm. He knew Zack was right, even if he didn't like it. He knew the reason he had precious few people close to him was only partly intentional. True, he was of the opinion that 90 percent of the world was made of insufferable idiots, but the other 10 percent tended to avoid him as well. Because he lacked some of the skills needed to participate in a normal relationship. He read body language extremely well where it indicated physical actions – attack, flight, approach with harmless intent, approach with hostility, that kind of thing. He supposed that was because he had most of his social training in adversarial relationships, either during the war or under Hojo's thumb in the lab. But he was piss-poor at identifying many emotional states. Particularly friendly ones, and so he often made the wrong comment or did the wrong thing.

Sephiroth recalled with discouragement the latest article ShinRa had foisted on all their executives in the name of "professional improvement". It covered a study on mapping of neural networks, how there was an innate mirroring in the brain in one human upon observing a facial expression in another. This mimicking supposedly allowed the observer to almost _feel_ the same emotion, thereby opening the path to empathy and improved social interaction. Sephiroth was pretty sure he lacked this. Maybe it was because of improper development during his formative years. Maybe his brain was just plain different.

"All I'm saying is that maybe you should talk to him about it beforehand, before you blurt out one of those... things that you do that make a guy feel hopelessly bad about himself."

"Speaking of statements that make a guy feel hopelessly bad about himself..." Sephiroth shut his eyes and rubbed his face with both hands. He hated feeling that he might hurt Cloud in that way.

"Hey, you know I don't like saying this. And I don't want to upset you. But I'm just worried, for Cloud, and for you. You and I have been through a lot together, and nothing you say or do is going to change the way I feel about you. I just want Cloud to have the chance to get to that point."

"I have to go to a meeting." Sephiroth stood up and opened his office door. The whole idea of trying to explain himself to Cloud before he had even had a chance to screw things up gave him a headache. "If you're such a godamn expert on me why don't you give him lessons." He let the door slam behind him.

Zack sat alone in his commander's office and thought. Sephiroth lessons. Not such a bad idea.

cccccccccccccccc

Cloud eyed the lunch offering at the cafeteria unhappily. He wasn't enjoying his day very much. Normally he didn't enjoy this day, but this time it was particularly depressing.

"Hey, Spikeyhead, come to lunch with me."

Cloud brightened a bit at the sound of Zack's chipper voice, and the Soldier immediately slung an arm around his shoulder and steered him out of the cafeteria without waiting for a reply. That was another good thing about Zack; he never gave a guy a chance to refuse cheering up.

They left the ShinRa complex with Zack relating a humorous story about one of the practice sticks busting on him while he was demonstrating a choke hold on a Third Class trainee. These sticks were normally pretty tough, two feet long and at least an inch in diameter.

"Serious," Zack laughed, "it just snapped in two with kind of a soggy crackle even though I hadn't any force on it. Must have rotted or something, but it looked like I had just cranked the thing over Marshall's throat, and the bugger went limp in my arms pretending I'd killed him. I started to laugh and dropped him and they all thought I was some sort of maniac."

He laughed again at the thought of it, and Cloud even managed a chuckle. But Zack could tell the blonde's mood was not good. He looked at him close across the table of the small Wutaiese restaurant he'd chosen. He meant to start in with a Sephiroth lesson, but it seemed hardly the time to bring up the oddities of Cloud's new lover and how, 'oh, by the way, he's probably going to say and do things to hurt you, here's a few tips on how to handle that'. So while they were served and ate Zack talked about other things he found entertaining about his day (Zack always found something entertaining even in a very average day) and worked to draw Cloud out of whatever shell he was in. But nothing he hit on seemed to be the source of the kid's funk, not classes, not friends, not homestuff, and he was unfortunately left with only one thing left to ask about. Sephiroth.

"Zack, will you take me out tonight?"

The question was so unexpected that Zack for a moment could only stare. It wasn't like Cloud to ask something like that.

"Just for a few beers or something?"

"Sure, Cloud, wherever you want. What's the occasion?"

"It's my birthday."

"Oh. OH hey! Happy Birthday, then! You're seventeen?"

Cloud nodded, smiling a little. Zack was infectious like a virus. But then Zack frowned, puzzled.

"Wouldn't you rather be spending tonight with Seph?"

Cloud looked down and stirred his food. "He doesn't want to see me tonight."

Zack's frown deepened. "Why?"

"I suppose he's busy or got some _problem_, I don't know." Cloud stabbed a piece of meat.

"Spike, how do you know he doesn't want to see you?"

"He told me. Last night."

Zack rubbed his fingers through his hair and squinted. He was too late, Sephiroth had already done it.

"Say Cloud," he said gently, "part of the reason I wanted to see you today was that I wanted to talk about Sephiroth. To tell you some of the things that I've figured out that help me deal with him, with his quirks. He has a few, you know."

Cloud snorted, still attacking his food without eating it.

"You know he doesn't understand a lot of things about people and relationships, right?"

"I've noticed," Cloud said.

"What you may not have figured out is some of the things he does to try and compensate for that, because he hides it. And he's a pretty good faker. But when he's stumped as to what's happening or what's the right thing to do, he just guesses. And often his guesses are way off the mark, I mean just plain stupid. He knows this, so he 'tests' the guesses. He gets this stony mask on his face, and he studies his victim intensely, and then says something, or asks something, and it's usually offensive or inappropriate and often hurtful. He doesn't mean it to be hurtful, but he almost always gets the tone in his voice all wrong... It works out OK for subordinates in the military structure, but it's hell on personal interactions.

The only way through this when it happens to you is to shove aside your anger or hurt or whatever it is you're feeling and try to analyze objectively what he said. Figure out if he's got a question under there and try to get that cleared up right then and there before things get all out of hand.

Cloud, what _exactly_ did he say to you last night?"

Cloud shook his head. "I don't remember exactly."

"Because it hurt? Cut you to the quick?"

Cloud nodded, his eyes now a little wet.

"How did he look when he said it?"

Cloud remembered that. He remembered because it had frightened him a little. Sephiroth had been utterly cold; his intense, no-nonsense stare leaving Cloud feeling like there was no room to argue. He looked up at Zack, unable to keep the hopeful feeling from sparking in his chest.

"Look, he does have problems with things like birthdays, and maybe he's just uncomfortable, but I'd bet money that he wants to be with you and he just didn't know if that was right. That he was actually trying to do was ask you if he could. Here," Zack dropped a twenty gil note on the table and motioned Cloud to get up. "We can just catch him. You're going to go up to Seph and tell him that your understanding from last night is that he does not want to see you, and that it is your desire is to see him. Ask him if you've misunderstood. Might be good to let him know this hurt you as well."

Cloud shook his head furiously "I don't think I can do that, Zack."

"Listen to me Cloud, you want to be with this guy you've got to be a little braver than that. You have to talk straight up because he doesn't catch on to subtlety. You gotta be willing to have a bit of a thick skin sometimes and a hell of a lot of patience. You think he doesn't deserve that? You better, or I'm not helping you anymore. I'll be doing my best to get you _out_ of his life."

"No, Zack, no. He does deserve it. You'll take me up to see him?"

Zack smiled and hugged the boy with one arm, nearly lifting him off his feet as they walked back to the building. He didn't let go of him until they got up to the officer's floor and he led Cloud to Sephiroth's office. Zack knocked on the frame of the open door.

"What is it, Zack?" Sephiroth growled, barely looking up.

"Cranky, cranky, and to think I brought you something." Zack pulled Cloud from around behind him and gave him a small shove into the office and pulled the door closed.

Cloud stood in front of the General's desk, blushing in embarrassment.

"Cloud?" Sephiroth got up and came around his desk. "Is there something wrong?"

Cloud looked around for a few moments, taking in his unfamiliar surrounding, coaxing himself to be brave, straightforward, patient. The things Sephiroth deserved of him.

"It's my understanding that you do not want to see me tonight."

The surprise on Sephiroth's face was all he needed to know he had gotten that part wrong. Really wrong.

"That's not what I said, Cloud."

"It's what I heard."

Sephiroth reached out and stroked Cloud's hair. "I don't remember exactly what I said. But clearly I miscommunicated. I don't celebrate a birthday myself, but I realize it's important to other people. I figured you would want to spend this day with your friends."

"I didn't tell any of them. Because I wanted to spend tonight with you."

A slow smile spread across Sephiroth's face. He gave Cloud a single, chaste kiss. "What do you want for your birthday? Can I take you somewhere?"

"I wanna go to a movie!" Cloud said suddenly. "And eat popcorn. I haven't been to a movie in about a year. And I want pizza. And I want..." He flushed a little. "I want to be with you."

Sephiroth smiled. He knew exactly where they should go tonight, and where they would end up. He kissed Cloud again, passionately this time, and when someone knocked on his door he merely reached over and pushed the button for the lock.

cccccccccccccc

Later that night Sephiroth brought a full, popular entertainment satiated, and slightly inebriated Cloud up one of the side elevators in the main ShinRa tower. Cloud was under his arm and happily nuzzling into his side, moving his head around in a way that always captivated Sephiroth. He tightened his grip as they walked down the hallway to his quarters. Normally he didn't hold Cloud in public places, not because he was embarrassed by his association with the cadet; far from it. But Cloud was so young, and Sephiroth didn't know if Cloud would want to continue their relationship after the donation period. Maybe he would want to move on, and if so he didn't need the label of the General's catamite following him around for the rest of his career. A slow sadness threatened to take over Sephiroth's mind at these thoughts, but he forced it aside. No sense in ruining the time he had. Cloud was here now and he should appreciate and make the most of that.

They met only one person, as luck would have it Sephiroth's neighbor was leaving just as they were arriving. The dark haired man glanced quickly at Cloud and nodded to Sephiroth.

"General," he said curtly.

"Commander," Sephiroth replied with equal brevity. He had an adversarial relationship with the man professionally and his orientation as a neighbor was no different.

"Who was that?" Cloud asked once they were inside.

"Tseng. Turk commander. Stay away from Turks; their loyalties are not honorably based and so they can't be trusted."

Cloud nodded. Nothing he had heard about Turks motivated him to start hanging out with them anyhow. He removed his boots and put them in their home away from home next to the door. Then he casually stripped off all of his clothes as he walked, dropping them like a bread crumb trail as he went. Sephiroth watched Cloud's naked form walk comfortably down his hallway, more than a little surprised. The boy had never done anything like that before. His smooth, rounded backside disappeared into the bedroom and Sephiroth followed.

Cloud wasn't in the bedroom, but the sound of running water came out of the bath. Not the shower, the sound was far too large and throaty. After a moment of confusion he identified that as his tub, the tub he hardly ever used and had rather forgotten about. But the thought of Cloud floating in there naked as a jaybird suddenly renewed his interest in the thing.

Sephiroth found Cloud seated on the tiled edge of the big tub, leaning over and trailing his fingers in the water. He leaned over and kissed Cloud persistently on the neck until Cloud presented his lips for him. After a long, slow kiss he retreated and looked at Cloud's easy smile.

"Cloud, you are the most relaxed guy I've ever seen on three beers."

The smile widened. "Well I don't hold it well."

"You're perfect," Sephiroth said, and kissed him again. Then he rummaged around in a cabinet and found tub products. Two of them were sudsy. He wasn't particularly interested in sudsy, seems the suds would obscure some rather nice visuals. The third one promised to be clear, slick, and moisturizing. He gave it a sniff. Spicy. Masculine. Pleasing. He dumped the whole bottle in. Cloud seemed to like it; he inhaled deeply and stretched upwards.

The sight of all that pale skin as Cloud stretched was a little too much for Sephiroth and he pulled Cloud up and held him there in his arms. Sephiroth was completely clothed and Cloud utterly nude, a condition which heightened his excitement. He slid his hands around every inch of Cloud's body, Cloud easily moving with his touch and clearly enjoying himself. Cloud had always been an agreeable partner, but he'd never been so physically pliant before. The boy leaned back and let his head drop behind him, completely suspended by one of Sephiroth's arms behind his back. Sephiroth marveled at the trust he displayed, his nudity, his bared throat, the fact that if Sephiroth so much as slipped his grip Cloud would fall and crack the back of his head on the tile.

But Sephiroth wouldn't slip. If Cloud had weighed three times what he did the General would have no problem holding him. He let his free hand lightly caress Cloud's throat, then down his chest. When Cloud brought his head up he was smiling slightly, the color from the blood that had run to his head still filled his cheeks. But what caught Sephiroth's attention was his eyes. They held a peculiar relaxed expression, the pupils were far too big for the light level, and they were riveted on his own. He didn't know what this expression meant, but he knew he liked it.

"I should give you alcohol more often," he said.

"It's not the alcohol," Cloud replied, and brought himself all the way up to kiss the older man.

Cloud knew what had really induced this state. Sephiroth had been with him for hours. In public. Eating, laughing, putting his arm around him at the movie and whispering things in his ear. It hadn't been ShinRa people around them, but then there was that guy at the door, the Turk commander. Some bigwig. And Sephiroth hadn't shown the least concern over being the way he was with Cloud. He had pulled Cloud protectively toward him rather than trying to separate. Cloud had never been more in love with him than at this moment.

"In you go," Sephiroth said, seeing the tub was almost full. He gently pushed Cloud backwards and dropped him into the water.

Cloud's grin widened at the feel of the warm water swirling around his body. He rolled over a few times imagining he was a fish, then sat at the far side to watch Sephiroth undo the buttons on his cuffs. That was another thing; the General had dressed for tonight in something other than black. He had an actual buttoned shirt on of a deep royal blue. The color was stunning on him. And dress pants rather than leather or military fatigues. Cloud didn't even own a buttoned shirt or real pants, not like there was room in his trunk for such things anyhow, and he smiled when he remembered how Sephiroth had responded to his worry about his attire. _'You could never be underdressed with me Cloud.'_ It had been funny, suggestive, and sincere all at the same time.

It occurred to Cloud he could get some more mileage out of these clothes. "Undress slowly," he said, "Please? For me?"

Sephiroth gave him a quizzical look.

"It _is_ my birthday," Cloud said, failing to keep his voice completely free of petulance.

"So it is," Sephiroth said, and smiled. He undid the buttons down the front of his shirt with one hand, and when he had gotten them all and bared a wide strip of skin down the front of his torso he pushed the collar softly back over his shoulders. Gravity slowly pulled the fabric down his arms, eventually exposing well muscled triceps, until he straightened his elbows and let it slip over his forearms. It fell to the floor in a graceful pile.

Then Sephiroth smoothly undid his belt, again one handed, and leisurely pulled it free, straight away from his body in a phallic gesture. It joined his shirt on the floor where it lay slightly coiled like a snake. Then he unbuttoned his pants and with exaggerated slowness pulled the zipper down. He let gravity again expose parts of his skin, inch by inch. He heard Cloud suck in his breath, probably for realizing he had nothing on underneath. Sephiroth smiled. Clouds eyes were fixed on his hips, occasionally running up and down his torso. It was like the kid had never seen him undress before. Well maybe not like this.

Of course his pants halted their journey downward, unable to clear his pressing erection. Sephiroth brought one finger to the point where they hung up and slowly pushed them free, exposing more and more of his organ until it sprang upwards, sending his pants all the way to the floor.

He stepped free of the last bit of his clothing and approached the tub. But Cloud came forward and placed his hands on each side of Sephiroth's hips, preventing him from coming in. The blonde looked up and waited for Sephiroth to put his hands to his face. Cloud knew he would; Sephiroth didn't seem to be able to keep himself from touching his face, or his blond hair, or the back of his neck.

"I want to suck on you." Cloud said, sounding a little nervous.

Sephiroth smiled. "OK, birthday boy." As if he was going to object to that. Cloud had done this before and Sephiroth was unsure why the boy should be anxious over it or feel he needed to ask. Plus he was good at it, immediately without any coaching he had been good at it. Men usually were, even ones as young as Cloud. Girls, unless they were pros, he had to always keep prompting. More suction, more pressure...

Sephiroth's mind flew off to nowhere land as he felt Cloud's lips, and then his hot, wet, mouth engulf him. He watched those beautiful cheeks, alternatively full then hollowed as Cloud's head moved to and from Sephiroth's hips. Both Clouds hands slid slowly back until all eight of his fingertips brushed the cleft between Sephiroth's glutes. This part he had taught the kid, and glad he was about it. Cloud slipped one wet finger into that entrance and easily found the pleasure point. He pressed with his finger and suctioned out at the same time. Sephiroth groaned and was sure he felt Cloud smile a little. Cloud increased his rhythm. He had a good sense of where Sephiroth liked it and within a few strokes Sephiroth was pushing his head away from him.

"Enough," he said gently.

"I want to taste you. I never get to."

Sephiroth considered. It was true, since mako transfer had always been part of their goal. But there was no way he could argue with Cloud if he was going to beg like that. He nodded and Cloud happily went back to work. Sephiroth kept his hands on both sides of Cloud's head, occasionally pushing his head one way or the other so he could watch the mesmerizing spectacle of his phallus disappearing and reappearing from those soft, young lips. Then he began to pant and desperately tried to remind himself with what little mind he had left not to pull at the last moment, not to pull on Cloud's head and gag him...

"OH, Cloud, CLOUD!" Sephiroth's powerful abdominals jerked on him, but he managed to hold himself steady and prevent himself from pulling Cloud forward as well. He had however fisted up the blond hair in the back of Cloud's head and had pulled his hair pretty hard. And Cloud gave one jerk as well. A small gag. Maybe the shot hitting the back of his throat; that was hard to avoid.

But now Cloud was swallowing and looking up at him with that same happy face he had worn all evening. Sephiroth bent down and kissed him, tasting his own fluid in Cloud's mouth.

"Can I get in now?" he asked.

Cloud nodded and Sephiroth let himself fall in with a splash that sent water onto the tiled floor. Cloud laughed and they both squirmed around in the massive tub, letting their bodies slide past one another. Sephiroth made a mental note to use the tub more. And to get more of that slippery tub additive, whatever that was. Cloud really seemed to be particularly enjoying the water. Sephiroth reached over to the controls and hit the button for the jets. Cloud looked around, then put his back against one of the jet stations. His face went immediately blank. Sephiroth peered at him, the feeling from the jet had absorbed Cloud's attention completely.

"Cloud, are you sore?"

"Hn mm, I'm always sore somewhere."

"Your back?"

"Today, everything."

Sephiroth clucked his tongue and slid over by Cloud. He gave the top of his thigh a hard kneading squeeze.

"uuuugh" Cloud made a noise and shut his eyes. Sephiroth did the same to one of his shoulders, his forearm, and calf. No place failed to produce a reaction.

"Cloud, why didn't you say something?"

"I don't know. I guess when you're sore all the time you just get used to it."

"Hmm. Come here. I haven't rubbed your back since our first couple of days. It seems I've been neglecting you."

"If you say so," Cloud floated over to Sephiroth and put himself in the General's strong hands. Sephiroth rubbed every inch of his back, seeking out and rubbing flat knots and tension, then did the same for every other piece of his body. He ended up with Cloud's feet in his lap, rubbing the arch and the muscles under the ball and heel.

"Thank-you," Cloud said, eyes half lidded.

Sephiroth smiled. Cloud was beyond relaxed now. He ran one hand up to Cloud's groin, the flesh there soft and sponge like.

"You want to just sleep for awhile?" he asked.

"No," Cloud said, jerking himself awake a bit. "I want... I want... I'm too embarrassed to say what I want." He laughed.

Sephiroth hit the lever for the drain and pulled Cloud up out of the water. He put his lips close to the young man's ear.

"Well I want to move you to the bed and fuck you," he whispered.

Cloud nodded, laughing again. "Yeah, that's what I wanted." Cloud let himself be toweled off and half pushed, half carried to the bed where he was set down on his back. Sephiroth leaned over him, caressing his thighs and noticing with satisfaction that Cloud's erection had sprung back to life.

"This is my favorite way to have you," Sephiroth said.

"Mine too." Cloud put one hand around the back of Sephiroth's neck and pulled him down for a kiss. They let their kiss linger, and Cloud retrieved the lubricant off the small table. It never even made it into the drawer anymore. Sephiroth smiled as Cloud served himself and then handed him the bottle.

"You're ready?" Sephiroth asked.

"I've been ready all evening." Cloud cast him that look again, that soft, wide pupil look. Sephiroth lubed and entered, and Cloud gave a sigh that sounded like relief. They both stroked slowly at first, more interested in the others rhythm than their own, staring in wonder into each other's eyes and using their free hand to caress each other's face. Almost reluctantly they moved on, each to his own rhythm and need, until they climaxed almost simultaneously and fell together. Slowly they rolled to be side by side, their legs entangled, not bothering to clean up.

With his cheek resting against the pillow Cloud stared into Sephiroth's eyes, letting himself trace the odd shape of the pupil, to sink into those bright greens that seemed to move and shift in the iris. Then, inexplicably, they were closed off to him. Nothing overt had changed; but somehow Sephiroth's eyes and face and lips had become cold; distant.

"What's wrong?" Cloud asked.

"Nothing," a faint smile crossed Sephiroth's mouth, but it too remained cold, emotionless. "Everything's perfect. You're shining."

It took Cloud a moment to understand what he was saying, then his heart jumped. Shining! His eyes were shining! He looked at Sephiroth open mouthed.

"Go look." Sephiroth motioned towards the bathroom.

Cloud kicked his feet free from the sheets and darted to the big mirrors. He stared at his own reflection – sure enough, his baby blues had a faint but unmistakable new bright cast to them. Sephiroth came up behind him and grabbed his dressing gown off the door hook and belted it around his waist. Cloud looked from the mirror, to Sephiroth, and back again. He couldn't keep his eyes off his own reflection; this was what he had wanted for so long. The shine of the Soldier. He looked at Sephiroth again, wondering why the older man wasn't excited for him. In fact he couldn't read anything on Sephiroth at all; he looked the way he always did around everyone else. He looked like... the General.

_Gaia, no._ Clouds heart thudded to the bottom of his stomach before Sephiroth even spoke.

"Your level is at about 100, you should be able to tolerate the processed mako through injection now. You don't have to come here any more, cadet."

The world swam in front of Clouds eyes. It was over? He always worried in the back of his mind that it would be someday, Anthony had told him again and again that it would be, warned him not to get attached. But right now Cloud would have gladly traded his new shiners to live forever in the last few weeks. Sephiroth was everything he wanted about Soldier, the reason he wanted to be in Soldier in the first place. To be so close to him and then have that yanked away, especially after the evening they just spent... he felt ill. He looked up at his General and willed himself not to cry, not to even let his eyes water. He pushed all of his hurt and anger deep down under the same rock in his stomach where he buried physical pain from training or fighting. And he looked at the man. Sephiroth was studying him, studying him intently.

Studying him.

_He's guessing_ the thought came with a hint of Zack's voice attached. Cloud's mind raced back to Zack's words at lunch. Sephiroth had just said something that hurt him to the quick – check. His face a stony mask – check. He was studying Cloud for a reaction – check. So what was he guessing about? Since Cloud had already pushed his hurt aside he moved on to the logical examination of the hurtful comment. _You don't have to come here anymore._ He actually hadn't told him not to. He hadn't ordered him away. That part was Cloud's interpretation. And suddenly he knew what the question behind the hurtful statement was.

He put both his palms forward and shoved Sephiroth as hard as he could on the chest. Far from defending Sephiroth actually tottered backwards a step in surprise.

"Do you think that's why I come here?" Cloud asked, his voice trembling, partly with hope, partly in anger, partly in fear because he had technically just attacked the General.

Sephiroth's face broke into an unorganized state of confusion. His eyebrows rose as he looked from one corner of the room, than the other. "May... be?"

Cloud grabbed Sephiroth on each side of the head and kissed him. Sephiroth immediately returned the kiss with increased ardor, his arms wrapping tightly around Cloud's back. He moved his mouth to place small, desperate kisses along Clouds face and neck.

"Are you mine? Are you really mine?" He whispered in Cloud's ear.

"I've always been yours," Cloud said, astounded that the man could think otherwise. How could Sephiroth have missed that? It was absurd. Zack had been right, exactly right, Sephiroth didn't read people properly. Didn't view things the same way as everyone else. This was part of his strangeness that required patience. And there was something else Zack had advised him to do.

"That hurt, you know."

Sephiroth winced. "I don't mean to hurt you. I was trying to not hurt you."

"Well this was twice in two days you've given me the impression you didn't want me. I almost left. Maybe you shouldn't try so hard not to hurt me. I think it's not working for you."

"You sound like Zack."

"Zack gave me some help here."

Sephiroth looked at him in surprise. He had told Zack to give Cloud lessons, but he hadn't been serious. But if was true that Cloud was on the verge of leaving and he had Zack to thank for him staying then he was just going to have to go with it and be grateful. He squeezed Cloud hard, lifting him off the ground slightly.

"Let me see those again," Sephiroth took Clouds face in his hands and peered into his eyes with excitement. Now he was smiling and running his thumbs on Cloud's cheeks.

Cloud managed a smile, this is where they should have been three minutes ago. He was amazed that three minutes could leave him feeling so drained and kind of abused. But he had survived it. To think he had been so close to walking out and never approaching the General again.

"These are going to be beautiful," Sephiroth said, still excited, "You know, we think organic transfer can bring the recipient up to 75 percent of the donor's level. My level doesn't really register properly on the test, but whatever I've got it's high. It might be that I can bring you all the way up to your natural stabilization point without you ever having to go to the lab."

"I don't want to go to the lab."

"I don't ever want you in the lab. I love you, Cloud. And I have never been in love before."

Cloud stared, swallowed, and almost forgot to say the thing that had been on his mind since his first time with the man. That had been on his mind most acutely tonight. The thing that he never said for fear of being ridiculous, for fear of being rejected.

"I love you too, Seph."

Their next kiss was tender, blossoming under their shared admissions that still hung in the air and the final opening of their hearts. Engrossed in the kiss, Cloud barely noticed that he had been moved back to the bed. He slipped the silken robe off of Sephiroth, then with arms and legs wrapped around him pulled as hard as he could and rolled the bigger man to the other side of the bed.

Sephiroth laughed. The kid had some good moves, plus some strength coming on. "Are you ever going to be fun when you get to First Class" he teased.

Cloud smiled, a little mischievous. "I'm not fun now?"

"Vixen. You know you are."

Cloud took a few more aggressive tumbles on the bed, knowing that he was going to miss curfew and not caring in the least.

And in the back of his mind he formed a little silent prayer of good will.

_Thanks, Zack._

**A/N: I'm reading, rather slowly, Daniel Goleman's book **_**Social Intelligence**_**, where he reviews experiments with electrodes in the brains of humans and animals that show the mirroring of neural patterns that may be the mechanism for empathy and emotional understanding between individuals. It amused me to think that Sephiroth, with his Jenova genes, might not have that ability if the alien species Jenova belongs to is telepathic. They wouldn't need this mechanism if they had direct brain linkage. **


	6. Mile High

**Disclaimer: **I do not own FFVII or anything in it.

**A/N: ****I know I joked awhile ago to changing the title of this thing to "A Lemon in Every Chapter" but I wasn't joking about actually doing that. I don't cut the chapter until I get the lemon out. And this time it gave me trouble, because the lemon I had in mind was about 10,000 words out. Blah! Damn plot! The chapter was getting too huge****! And no update forever!**** So I went back and added the lemon I had skipped over, not because it was a bad ****time for ****lemon, ****but ****because I had transitioned away from the scene and didn't want to transition back. So now it's here, and I'm glad because I enjoyed writing it. **

Cloud's mind resisted gaining consciousness. Or maybe his body was the culprit. The whole world was soft and warm, and when he moved his skin slipped across soft fabric and a delicious, spicy smell hit him. Especially on his face. He moved his face up and around, back and forth, and eventually let his eyes drift open. Sephiroth. It was his hair that his head was lying in, unbelievably soft and seeped in the smell from the Jacuzzi tub last night. The owner of this marvelous plumage was already awake, watching him. A shaft of sunlight made green fire out of his eyes.

Sunlight. Cloud sat up with a yelp.

"I didn't think I was that alarming to wake up to in the morning," Sephiroth said.

"I'm missing morning drill," Cloud said, and attempted to jump out of bed, but a long arm hooked around his midsection and held him in place.

"No you're not."

"I'm not?"

"It's a tradition that cadets get the day off the first day they shine."

Cloud had heard that, and he remembered now- he was shining! He remembered everything about last night. He leaned down and did the thing he should have done first upon waking. He kissed his lover. His love.

"I still wasn't in my rack last night," Cloud said.

"Well the 24 hours off started last night."

"Really? It works that way?"

"It does now. I'll call your sergeant. And I better get going; there are a few things I have to get done this morning, but then I can spend the day with you, if you like."

Cloud nodded, smiling.

"You want to sleep in?"

"Oh, hell yeah." Cloud plopped back down into the warm bed. It was the consuming dream of all cadets to sleep more.

Cloud listened to the shower run, and lazily rolled over a few times. It looked like he was going to get a free pass for being AWOL last night. He had been pretty diligent about not accepting favors from the General in regards to his daily cadet life. While it was a constant temptation he didn't need to fit in any less than he already did. But he supposed this would be OK, if General Sephiroth wanted to change a rule and it applied to everyone, who was he to argue? He grabbed Sephiroth's pillow and wrapped his arms around it as a surrogate for his bedmate and was asleep before Sephiroth got out of the shower.

ccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccc

Sephiroth frowned at the phone. He hadn't expected any comment at all from Cloud's drill sergeant, simply a 'yes sir' and that would be that. But the man seemed to have some concern about Cloud's timing. That he was shining too early.

"Sir, I wouldn't say anything except that I suspect you probably care for the boy. He already sticks out. He's… odd. He's not particularly big, and yet he manages to excel in all his classes. It wasn't so bad when it was just sword, but he's gotten really good at infighting and recently has become some sort of navigation savant."

"As he should be; I work with him."

"That's my point exactly, sir. He doesn't need to be the first one shining too, because of your... influence. He'll be completely ostracized."

Sephiroth rubbed his forehead. Cloud never mentioned he was having any social problems.

"What I'd like to suggest, General, is that if you could just keep him away for a few days. I'm sure two or three of my injection group will be shining by then, some of them are very close. Then he'll at least be one of a group."

Sephiroth's eyebrows shot up at the idea. The timing couldn't be better for him, he remarkably free for the next three days.

"How about you tell the group that Cloud has been put on a very boring, grunt work field assignment for the rest of the week. Maybe taking notes and humping gear on a land survey out in the desert."

"Perfect. Thank-you sir."

"Thank-you, sergeant. Please have one of Cloud's friends pack his field bag and drop it off at the HQ office."

As he hung up Sephiroth thought he could feel Bushere smiling on the other end of the phone, and wondered if that was accurate. If so it would be a new level of emotional phone detection for him.

ccccccccccccccc

Zack Fair sat in his office and scrolled through is calendar, trying to find a chunk of time big enough in his mind numbingly meeting packed day to slip out into the city. Maybe long enough to grab a bite on the lower plate with a certain somebody. He was eying a particularly useless Documentation meeting he might skip when all of his tasks started deleting themselves off his calendar. He pulled up the following day and saw the same thing happening. He grinned, he knew what this meant. He was being sent out, today by the looks of it, and the General was cancelling his obligations. Zack drummed his fingers on his desk excitedly. He could wait for his mission packet to arrive, or he could just go over there. He jumped up out of his chair, chuckling. Since when did he pass up an excuse to pester Sephiroth? Never.

Zack strolled into Sephiroth's office, hands in his pockets and whistling happily. The General motioned for him to close the door before plopping his butt into the chair. Zack did so and then put both his feet on the edge of Sephiroth's desk.

"You're sending me out somewhere," he said, grinning.

Sephiroth reached forward and knocked Zack's boot off his desk. But he was smiling a little. He used to just snarl and yell at Zack when he did that, but lately he was always like this. Kind of happy. Cloud happy, Zack called it.

"Actually I'm taking you somewhere."

"Serious, we're heading out together? Where?"

"Costa del Sol."

Zack frowned. He'd never heard of trouble in the resort area before. Relaxed, vacationing people just didn't cause trouble. Maybe they were having sea monsters or something. "What's up in Costa del Sol?"

"The surf, I believe."

Zack stared, mouth open for a good five seconds. "Vacation? We're going on vacation?"

"Don't be so giddy, Zack, you're being ordered on this vacation with me."

"Pfft! Like you need to order me to go to the beach. Or to go anywhere with you." Zack grinned madly. "But, um, I hate to even ask…but why? You've never taken time off _with_ anyone before."

"Cloud started shining last night."

"Ohhh, and so did he say he was done with you?" Zack asked, knowing from Sephiroth's mood this certainly was not the case.

"No. He said he loved me."

"Told ya. You remembered to say 'I love you' back, right?"

"Actually I think I was first."

Zack grinned

"Anyway Cloud's sergeant thinks he's sticking out too far from his group and asked if he could not show his shiners for a few days until some of the other cadets came up to level as well."

"Yeah, well he is pretty damn early, especially for an organic. How much excess have you been giving the poor kid?"

Sephiroth frowned. "I think it has more to do with my level than frequency."

"Oh, so you haven't been donating more than the standard twice a week?"

Sephiroth looked sharply away, pursing his lips.

"Yeah, I thought so. OK, so we're taking Cloud to beach – he'll like that, he's never seen the ocean. We have lodgings?"

"We've got the ShinRa house. It has a private beach."

Zack's mouth hung open. "How'd you get that?"

"I went up there with my best crazy look and said I needed to get away for a few days or I'd snap."

"You didn't."

Sephiroth gave Zack the crazy look and caused the young Soldier to shove his chair back with his feet.

"Argh, don't _do_ that! Some day they're going to tranque you and stick you in a cage!"

"Been done already."

"Doesn't mean they won't do it again."

Sephiroth smiled. "I'm not as reckless as I seem. HR has convinced the ShinRa's that my displaying any emotional state is a good sign because it proves I am 'dealing' with it. So I make sure I appear to be doing so. And it works, every time their anxiety level around me drops. Remember anxiety is one I detect well."

Zack shrugged. Sephiroth was certainly getting practice at acting if nothing else. "When do we leave?

"We have tickets on a commercial airship tonight at five. Four of them. I'd like you to ask your girl along."

"Aer-!"

Sephiroth interrupted Zack with a curt gesture. In his excitement Zack had forgotten the moratorium on saying Aerith's name inside the ShinRa complex or around ShinRa people. He had a damn difficult time remembering because it made no sense to him; Sephiroth had just asked him to do it as a personal favor. He suspected his commander hoped this would curtail Zack's constant blathering about her if he forbid the use of her name, but he was so weirdly dogmatic about it. But Zack was too happy to complain about it now.

"I'll have to go down there to ask her, she doesn't have a phone."

"Go now, you're free for the rest of the day."

Zack grinned and turned to go. He hoped Aerith would come. Four tickets, if she didn't show they'd be burning one airship ticket. They were commercial tickets, which meant Sephiroth had paid for those. Commercial tickets could be pricey.

"Hey Seph, about expenses for this trip..."

"You're not paying for anything on this trip Zack. You're on an ordered mission, remember?"

"Oh, yeah,"

"Besides, I owe you."

"OK, I'll be back in a couple of hours; we can ride to the airlift station together." Zack left, wondering why Sephiroth had chosen to go commercial instead of finding a military transport for them. And also what he had meant by owing him. Oh, right. Cloud. He grinned, and picked his pace up to a trot.

ccccccccccccccccccccccc

An hour and a half later Zack sat on a curb at a train stop in the slums, dejected. He couldn't believe Aerith had refused to come. She had actually gotten upset about it. It was pretty discouraging to a guy to invite his girl on a three day, all expense paid stay at a posh residence on a private beach and have her get upset at him. And it wasn't like he was pushing her to share a room with him; the place was huge and she would have her own room. He'd been more than patient in that regard and was willing to be patient for a long time. She had rejected his offer because it was associated with ShinRa. Well hell, _he _was associated with ShinRa. She always said they could ignore it, that it was him and not his uniform that was important. They pretended during their hours together that he didn't work for ShinRa. But the problem was he didn't just work for ShinRa, he was Soldier. He had modified his person to suit their needs. All of his friends were there, as was the commander that he was absolutely dedicated to. And he liked being Soldier. He hadn't been in the war, and while he didn't agree with everything ShinRa did his work had not been disagreeable. He ran around and killed monsters and occasionally apprehended violent criminals. And it angered him a little that he couldn't share some of the benefits of that work with her.

Another train came and went without him getting on it. He couldn't seem to make himself go back, but he couldn't sit here all day either. He hit a speed dial button on his PHS.

"Zack?" Sephiroth's voice came through. Calm. Strong. Just as he always was, even if the man's world went to shit he would always be those two things. Sephiroth had enough of those two things to spare.

"She's not coming," Zack said, the disappointment so plain in his voice that even Sephiroth couldn't fail to notice.

"Did she say why?"

"Not exactly, I think she's afraid of participating in the spoils of ShinRa, or she's afraid of you, or something. She's kind of anti-ShinRa."

"OK, Zack. I'm sorry to hear that, but I still want you to come. I was looking forward to spending a few days with you."

"Really?"

"Really. Now get your butt back here and pack."

Zack grinned. Well at least somebody wanted to spend time with him. And maybe he should re-think Sephiroth's degree of social ineptitude, making a comment like that to him when he needed it most.

"And Zack, can you do something for me?"

"Yeah, Seph, anything."

"Cloud's gear should be at the office, and he is at my place. Grab his stuff and go up there and tell him I'm running kind of late, but that we're going away for a few days and I'll be there soon. Keep him company for me?"

"Yeah, no problem, I got it." Zack hung up. Shit yeah, no problem. Seph had an 80 inch TV at his place. And good beer.

On the other end of the link Sephiroth hung up the phone and knit his brows. He had expected this problem with the girl, but he had to let Zack give it a try. Zack had used the word 'afraid' to describe her response, but probably had no idea how literal that descriptor was. He strapped a few short blades onto his body. No sense going down into the slums unarmed.

ccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccc

Aerith sat down on the curb, a broken liquor bottle next to her left foot and something sticky in the gutter to her right. Her basket was still full; she hadn't sold any flowers since Zack left. Nobody wanted flowers from a sullen, unhappy person. Flowers were associated with good feelings, and if she didn't feel good people didn't want to buy them from her.

She sighed and stood up, heading back to the crumbling church that she called home. She paid less attention to the people around her than she would have a few months ago. A few months ago she would have had to watch out for all manner of muggers, rapists, and murderers. But the unpredictably frequent presence of a First Class Soldier in the sector had caused many of the worst to move on. She smiled, thinking of Zack's first few weeks visiting her. He had beat the crap out of some undesirable person every visit. Normally Aerith disdained violence, but in some cases, drug dealers, lovers of violence, the predators of children, she couldn't feel any pity for them.

Zack.

Her head drooped further. Life had always been unfair, but she never got used to the feeling. It was unfair that she had to live in dregs of ShinRa's poison. It was unfair that her mother's life had been taken on the moment of their escape. It was unfair that she couldn't go to a simple place of pleasure with her boyfriend. Gaia, how she wanted to be with him. To just spend a few days in a place far away from here, to lie in his arms and watch the waves and the stars. Maybe next to a bonfire on the beach...

Zack.

_Why did he have to be with __ShinRa_ Even as she formed the thought she knew it was an unfair one. If he hadn't been patrolling he wouldn't have fallen through her roof. If he wasn't Soldier he wouldn't have been able to save her that first night. Only a Soldier could be providing this protection she enjoyed now even in his absence.

She pushed the door to the church open, thinking about the flowers in her basket. It was a sin against the planet to cut them and then not sell them, to not have somebody enjoy them. She was so preoccupied with this thought that she didn't notice right away what she normally would have. That she was not alone in her home. Somebody was here, somebody that made her want to shrink with fear.

She scanned the sanctuary. And in the far corner behind the pulpit she saw him. No ordinary man. If he wore his colors the way the rest of the creatures on the planet he would have been covered in yellows and reds. Colors that bespoke Danger! Poison! Death! This one clothed himself in black. But his long silver hair and venomous green eyes were cues to what he was. The devil himself.

Her body instinctively coiled away from the creature, but she willed herself to stand bravely in place.

"I know who you are," she said with a voice that evinced more spine than she felt.

He walked slowly forward, a sardonic and wicked smile gracing his too fine features.

"Not much a feat, considering my look is known the world over. The more interesting fact is that I know who you are."

Aerith stepped sideways, gripping the staff she walked with but in reality carried for protection. Not that she would stand a chance against this one. His eyes tracked her movements like a hungry predator.

"What do you want?" She said, "If you've come to take me back to the ShinRa labs you should know that I'll die first."

The evil smile broadened. "If I meant to take you back I'd have done so long ago. I've always known where you were."

"So why haven't you? Captured me?" Aerith's breath was coming faster, her heart beating like a frightened bird.

"I was fourteen years in that lab." Something flashed across the devil's eyes, so quick Aerith couldn't understand its meaning. "I'll not see another sentient creature there if I can help it."

Aerith stared at him. Was he saying he was protecting her? Liar.

"You haven't answered my question. What do you want?"

"Apparently," he stepped under the hole in the roof and looked up, "You have captured the heart of one of my best men. And one of the few who resides in my own heart. I'm here to ask if you won't reconsider joining him on this trip. It means a lot to him."

Aerith stared at him. The murdering demon had come had come down into the slums, broke into her home, and lurked around to convince her to go to the beach with her boyfriend? Did she just step into the Twilight Zone?

"You can meet us at the civilian Midgar airstrip. Our flight is commercial, non ShinRa. It will just be the four of us, on a private beach. There will be no other ShinRa personnel there but myself and the one other I'm sure Zack has told you about. You won't have to interact with me much; I assure you I'll be quite absorbed with my young friend."

"The cadet you take advantage of?"

Sephiroth clenched both fists and almost took a step forward. He was sure Zack would have never said such a thing. The bitch. He forced his face and voice to be blank and breathed out a long slow breath.

"We both care for Zack," he said carefully, "If you can put aside your problems with me I promise to do the same for a few days."

"What problems do you think you have with me?" she spat.

This time he did take a step forward as anger flashed in the green eyes. She retreated a step despite her bravado.

"I don't tell Zack who you are, what you are, even though this knowledge concerns him. I don't tell him because if I did it would forever destroy the opportunity for honesty between himself and a woman he clearly cares for. But every day you do not tell him I wind up lying to him. I lie by omission, and I never, ever want to lie to Zack."

"And you're so sure I haven't told him?" Aerith tried to speak forcefully but her voice shook.

"I know," his smile a terrifying sight. "I know because Zack would come to me with such a thing, or if he didn't I would know he was hiding something. He's a terrible liar. Not like me, whose very existence has depended on it. Not like _us_."

Aerith looked away. She was NOT in any way like the ShinRa devil. Was she? But she couldn't deny she had been hiding this thing from Zack, the fact that she was the last living Cetra on the planet and hunted prey of ShinRa. She lied to him. It ate at her every time she was with him and kept a wall between them. She turned to Sephiroth, eyes defiant but wet with tears.

And oddly the devil appeared to soften at this. He shut his terrifying green eyes and bowed his head, looking vulnerable even though she knew he was not.

"If I may," he said, "how much for the flowers?"

"All of them?" her voice sounded unnatural in her ears. He nodded.

"Thirty gil?"

He brought out a clip from his pocket and unwrapped the thirty gil from a considerable wad of bills. People didn't normally carry that kind of money down in the slums, but she supposed nobody even thought about bothering this one. With shaky hands she gathered the flowers and wrapped them in one of the papers from the back of her basket, and exchanged them for the money. She brushed his skin as she did so and was surprised to find it warm. Somehow she thought his hands would be cold.

"Please come," he said, "our flight leaves at five, gate twelve."

And then he was gone. Aerith sank down to the floor still clutching the thirty gil, her dress caressing the flowers she so lovingly tended.

ccccccccccccccccccccccc

Cloud, Sephiroth, and Zack took the train to the airlift station. Zack had recovered from his earlier disappointment as soon as he had seen Cloud and had been able to give him the good news about the trip, but he had fallen silent again. They had passed Reception the way out and Darlene had a rather nice fresh bouquet of flowers on her desk. They reminded him strongly of Aerith, they were just the type she sold, and he had wished he had bought flowers before he left.

"This is our stop," Sephiroth said, the only one keeping track seeing as how Cloud was looking excitedly around and Zack was staring at the floor. He gave Zack's shoulder a squeeze and the young man brightened at the touch. It was one of the things he loved about Zack; he was so easily distracted from his woes.

"Hey I don't have swim trunks," Cloud said as they walked towards their gate.

"You'll have to go nude, then," Sephiroth said.

Cloud gave a sideways glance to Zack. He wasn't nervous about being naked around other guys, normally, but he didn't want to be the only naked one, plus he wasn't sure how private a 'private beach' was. And with Sephiroth around his state was likely to be... embarrassing.

Sephiroth smiled at Cloud. "There are several overpriced shops in the town selling swim gear. We'll get you a pair."

"You've been there before, then?"

"A few times," Sephiroth said, "I like the ocean; it's the crowds I don't care for. But we won't have to worry about that this time."

At this point they noticed they were walking by themselves. Zack had stopped. Sephiroth looked back at him, then followed his gaze to what had so affected him. Sephiroth smiled. Perfect.

Zack dropped his bag and trotted over to the young woman, grabbing her up in his arms and spinning her around in a slow circle. The girl gave light, musical laugh. Cloud and Sephiroth joined them, Sephiroth having retrieved Zack's duffel.

"Aerith," Zack said, still squeezing her tightly, "This is Seph. Seph, Aerith Gainsborough."

"How do you do, Miss Gainsborough," Sephiroth said, nodding his head politely. "This is Cloud." He nudged Cloud forward towards the girl.

"Hi," Cloud said, and extended a hand. She took it and held on for an extra moment. Cloud wasn't what she expected at all. Certainly he looked small next to the General, but he didn't look any way diminished or ill used. He looked happy and confident, even while under the devil's arm. And the planet seemed to have no complaints of the type of energy he put out, unlike his companion. Although at the moment she had to admit that the planet was not complaining about Sephiroth, either.

"Oookay," Zack said, and took Aerith's hand out of Cloud's to ensconce it in his own. "Let's board and find some good seats."

Cloud looked up at Sephiroth, questioning. The older man merely shrugged, and kissed him on the head.

Airships, even commercial ones, were multifunction vehicles. They carried mail. They moved livestock. They shipped fresh food and manufactured goods. Every one was privately owned and configured differently, cargo normally all below in the hold but sometimes strapped into odd places in the passenger areas. The seats tended to be along the walls, or sometimes in odd corners and nooks on the ship. Zack managed to find them four seats facing each other. Benches, really, they looked like they had been plucked from a diner and had seatbelts added after the fact. But if they stacked their duffels in the middle and beat a flat spot into the top they could maybe play cards later.

Zack gave a start, finally noticing for the first time he didn't have his bag with him.

"Sh – oot. Left my bag." Zack turned to head back to the loading area.

Sephiroth stopped him by laying a hand on his chest, an amused look on his face. It was the first time he had ever heard Zack adjust his language. He removed Zack's duffel from his shoulder and gave it to him.

"Thanks," Zack said, then cringed. He had let his superior carry his gear; bad form. If anything it should have been the other way around. "Sorry, sir."

Sephiroth smiled and cuffed him lightly on the side of the face. "It's all right Soldier. I see you were distracted."

Zack grinned, then opened his duffel and sunk his arm into it. He came out with a softsided cooler and passed beers around. Sephiroth looked at the bottle. It was expensive, fancy beer. His own brand.

"Zack, did you raid my fridge?"

"It was Cloud's idea." Zack said, then laughed at Cloud's speechless, stunned expression.

"Zack!" Cloud finally spit out. Sephiroth laughed and kissed Cloud on the cheek.

"I don't suppose you grabbed some snacks too," Sephiroth said, "I haven't eaten all day."

"Of course." Zack pulled out cheese, crackers, the gourmet olive spread from his caterer, leftover paté, and some egg rolls that Sephiroth had forgotten he had. Sephiroth eyed the egg rolls suspiciously.

"Don't worry," Zack said, "I sniffed everything before I packed it."

"Your bravery is commendable," Sephiroth said, and noticed the girl stifled a small laugh. So she was not so unmovable after all.

As they munched away happily Aerith watched the two Soldiers sitting across from one another, their long legs almost touching at the knees. Zack rarely talked about Sephiroth because she had made it clear she didn't want to hear about him. And she had been assuming that Zack's attachment to the General was of a more professional nature, sprinkled with adoration or maybe even hero worship. But these men were clearly friends, and close ones at that. She had been doing Zack a disservice in forcing him to leave this connection behind when he was with her.

A loud, coarse voice came over the loudspeakers and gave several warnings that the ship was about to take off, the engines roared to life, and the machine began to lift. Cloud looked out his window momentarily, and when he looked back to ask Sephiroth a question the man was asleep. Both he and Zack had both gone suddenly and inexplicably to sleep, their legs stretched out in front of themselves and laced together, both with arms folded against their chest and still holding their beer bottles erect in one hand. Aerith, was equally perplexed. She looked at Cloud questioningly, pointing a finger to one sleeping man then the other. Cloud shrugged, mystified. But their posture wasn't entirely unfamiliar. He had seen the upper classes do this on both previous airship trips he had taken. He figured they were just tired.

Cloud leaned close and studied the side of Sephiroth's face. Was he really asleep? He concentrated so hard that he jumped a little when one green eye opened and glinted at him. But then it closed again.

After a few minutes the engine noise calmed down to a loud hum and both Soldiers woke up.

"Who's for cards?" Zack asked brightly. Then he noticed he was being scrutinized by Cloud and Aerith. "What?"

"What was that? You guys just fell simultaneously asleep." Cloud asked.

"You were awake during takeoff?" Sephiroth asked, frowning at Cloud as if this were somehow unacceptable.

"Uh, yeah," Cloud answered.

Sephiroth turned his frown to Zack, who shrugged.

"We don't teach that until Third Class."

"When it comes to airships, if there's an accident there's not a damn thing you can do to help yourself," Sephiroth explained. "In that type of situation the injury potential best minimized if you don't see it coming, the relaxed body breaks fewer bones and tears less ligaments. Since most accidents occur during takeoff and landing we recommend checking out during those times."

"You looked at me," Cloud said.

"Did I?" Sephiroth seemed amused. "Well I'm not completely asleep. It's more of a meditative state."

"I actually sleep," Zack said, "I love sleeping. Especially when it's all vibrating like that on take off... what?"

Zack's companions were all now just staring at him.

"Let's play," he said, sensing they obviously needed a diversion. He forced them to lift their feet while he dug duffles out from under their seats and arranged them in a makeshift wobbly table made of duffle bags. From his own bag he fished out a deck of cards.

"You two know how to play Yugi?" he asked Aerith and Cloud. Both nodded.

Zack grinned in anticipation as he shuffled the deck. He both loved and hated playing with Sephiroth. Zack rarely lost to anyone but Sephiroth, and him he had yet to beat. The General was bizarrely good at it despite the fact he rarely played. It made Zack wild with curiosity and completive fervor. Sure the General was bizarrely good at quite a lot of things, but a game that was essentially a social interaction involving bluffing and reading your opponent seemed like it should not be one of them. He assumed that there was some card counting method Sephiroth was using that he just hadn't figured out yet.

Sephiroth for his part refused to tell Zack how he did it. But to him it was simple really. Zack hadn't figured it out because he always thought of Yugi as a game, a consensual social activity. But it wasn't. It was a series of aggressive, competitive acts. More like war. And in that realm Sephiroth had a rare talent to anticipate people and their moves. It was as if all his ineptitude for reading cooperative social goodwill was channeled into such negative, violent areas.

Zack dealt the cards, and the first few hands were typical; the plays were conservative as players felt out one another's styles and strategy. Then Sephiroth started to make his moves in the way Zack had become accustomed, bold strikes, risks, singling out other players to make his plays against, all with what seemed like a strange amount of luck, except no one was that lucky so it had to be his method. But this time something was different. Aerith of all people was giving him a hard time. After a dozen hands the two of them stood even. Zack was barely on the board and Cloud was actually in the hole.

After being booted out for the round early for about the fifth time Zack stood up and stretched. "I gotta piss," he said. He cringed a little and looked sideways at Aerith, but she was lost in the concentration of her cards. He had always known she was incredibly smart, but he hadn't thought it would extend to matching wits in some card counting scheme with Sephiroth. But he didn't mind. He was content if she was the brains as long as he still got to be her brawn.

"I gotta go too." Cloud, also out of the running for this round, crawled over Sephiroth to get to the aisle.

The General took a moment to smile a bit and stroke Cloud's back as he went over him, but other than that his face was utterly blank. Zack understood this look; either Sephiroth was curtailing some emotion or he was concentrating bloody hard. Maybe both.

Left alone the two card players finished out their hand. Aerith came out on top of this one. Sephiroth smiled a little.

"You're cheating." he said.

"As are you," she said icily. Now that the other two had gone, all of Aerith's ill feelings towards the man reemerged. And the fear, although it seemed irrational to be suddenly afraid of him, he wasn't doing anything different that he was two minutes ago. This fear wasn't welling out of her, precisely; it was coming from elsewhere, from her connection. The same connection she was using to-

"You're asking the planet for guidance during the game."

"It's normal for me to use the gift I have. I'd have to work not to. At least my gift is natural."

"And mine is not? As far as I know I ask the planet for guidance as well."

"Bullshit."

Sephiroth raised his eyebrows. He should probably tell Zack he needn't keep censoring his language around this one.

"Maybe I just use a different part of the planet than you do."

"What, the evil part? There is no other _part_ of the planet. The planet despises and fears you; I can feel it."

"Well then, tough shit, because I'm here and there isn't any other place for me to go."

Aerith was taken aback by this, although she didn't know what she expected. Of course there was no place else to go. She realized she could imagine nothing worse than being hated by the planet and yet living on it. Pity rose into her chest, even as the warnings and enmity continued to flow into her.

"You OK, Seph?" Zack had returned from the direction behind Aerith and found his commander looking rather distressed. Sephiroth looked up at Zack and the flood of warnings into Aerith's mind stopped as if someone had shut off a faucet.

"She beat me," Sephiroth said, his face relaxing. Zack's face, which had taken up a mirror to his commander's, relaxed in kind. He grinned.

"That's my girl! I've been trying to beat him for years." He came around and hugged Aerith. He motioned his head towards Sephiroth. "Don't mind him, he doesn't like being beaten."

"Where's Cloud?" Sephiroth asked.

Zack shrugged. "Wandering around looking at the ship."

Sephiroth nodded and stood up. "My turn," he said, and left towards the restrooms. Then he figured he'd wander around the ship himself. Damn Cetra.

Sephiroth visited the head, then meandered onto some of the other decks, eventually finding a small viewing area. He laid his forehead against the window and watched the water far below, the day's last orange light reflecting off the surface.

"Been looking for you."

Sephiroth felt a light touch across his back and then Cloud was sliding between him and the window, forcing Sephiroth pick his head up from where it was resting. A bright pink oval on his forehead belied how long his head had been resting there.

"Watch ya doing?" Cloud's tone was light, but concern troubled his face. Sephiroth scanned his face, his fine, young face, innocent of all the things he was. He had no business troubling such a face. But neither had he any business telling Cloud stories.

"I was sulking here wondering if I belong on the planet."

Clouds expression went from troubled to mild alarm. "Why would you say something like that?"

Sephiroth looked into Cloud's eyes and smiled sadly.

"Will you still love me Cloud, when you've seen all that I am? After you've seen me kill a man, or torture an innocent, or care so little for lives I destroy that I walk away without a second look?"

Cloud appeared to consider his answer. He wasn't actually surprised by the question, it was one he had asked himself and given quite a bit of thought to.

"I used to read everything I could about you during the war. And not everything was ShinRa propaganda. Some of it was pretty horrible. I was about… nine when I started this activity, and the world was still black and white to me. I refused to believe these negative reports. But as the years went on, the war went on, and I got older and learned more of the world. I learned enough to understand that the truth always lies somewhere in between. At some point I accepted that you did at least some of these things. It's an understanding that I still carry. I do know what you're capable of."

"More than just capable. I was designed for bloodshed. Aggression. Cruelty. It's who I am."

"But it's not all you are." Cloud laid his palm on Sephiroth's chest. "And I'm not the only one who sees that."

Sephiroth wrapped his arms around Cloud and let his cheek lay on his head. He took several slow breaths.

"I love you so very much, Cloud."

Cloud smiled and kissed Sephiroth on the neck. "Well, there you go then. I'm pretty sure I belong on the planet and I don't think we could love each other this way if you did not as well."

Sephiroth laughed a little and squeezed Cloud. The boy was better than drugs for his mood. He turned Cloud around in his arms until they both could look out the big window. Cloud stoked the arms that held him while Sephiroth put small kisses onto Cloud's neck, face, and hair.

Aerith, also out stretching her legs, stepped silently away from the corner where she had stopped when she had heard the voices. She hadn't meant to eavesdrop, but the moment the devil started talking she had frozen in place. He certainly was turning out to be something unexpected. She returned to where she had left Zack, snoozing in his seat. She smiled down at him. Not just Cloud, but this beautiful one loved that silver haired demon as well. Maybe she needed to tell the planet to shut up for awhile and make up her own mind. She kissed Zack lightly on the lips, and he looked up and smiled.

"Where are those two?" he asked, "We'll be landing soon."

She slid herself over him to get to her seat, but left her legs his lap. "I'm sure they're around."

cccccccccccccccccccccc

"Seph, what are you doing?" Cloud said with a small jerk and a laugh. He tried to concentrate on the view out the window.

"Whatever you let me get away with," Sephiroth whispered behind ear he had been biting lightly. He slid his fingers a little farther into Cloud's waistband and slipped the other hand under his now loosened shirt so it could caress Cloud's stomach and chest.

Cloud really hadn't needed to ask, it was obvious what the General was after, he just couldn't believe he was getting frisky in front of some random window in the middle of an airship. A public airship. Cloud hardened responsively as fingers slid down and touched him. Gaia, now _he_ was getting frisky in the middle of an airship.

"Seph!" he repeated, now a little nervous.

"There's nobody around."

The kisses moved to Cloud's neck and that spot where Cloud loved it under his jawline. Sephiroth popped the top button on Cloud's fatigues, allowing more of his hand to slide down. But space inside Cloud's pants was quickly becoming scarce.

"I think you need a little more room down there." Sephiroth purred rather than spoke into clouds ear, and the feel of his breath sent goose bumps down his back. Sephiroth popped the rest of the buttons on Cloud's fly open.

Some part of Cloud's brain worried about people that might walk by, but he supposed the General's bulk was providing a pretty good shield for him, even without the big coat on. Plus he had all that hair.

Thinking of the hair Cloud reached behind his head and pulled some of the stuff forward, letting touch his face as it covered him from further view. Then Sephiorth took a great lock of it and fed it down the front of Cloud's collar, where it unfolded like a silken snake along the boy's chest and then spilled with an amazing feeling onto the exposed skin of his phallus. Exposed because he was out, all the way out, Sephiroth squeezing him and rubbing that hair along it. Cloud groaned even as he was trying to keep quiet. Sephiroth sighed and squeezed him again.

"I want you. I want you badly," the older man said.

Cloud's eyes widened in a bit of alarm. Surely he wasn't going to try that? But even as he fretted a good portion of him hoped that Sephiroth would actually be that bold. An odd comment drifted through his memory, something he'd heard his first week as a cadet. General Sephiroth was the only truly fearless creature on the planet. He felt his fatigues being pushed down.

"Step up on that sill for me."

Cloud looked down and saw a ledge under the big window about five inches high. Right, the General was quite a bit taller than him. Cloud complied and felt one of Sephiroth's hands working behind him, undoing the fly on his leathers. Cloud put his hands on the front of Sephiroth's thighs, the feel of the leather and the tension in muscles below exciting him. Then he felt fingers deposit something warm and wet at his opening. The hand disappeared and then did it again. It was some sort of lubricant, but Cloud wondered where he was getting it. Did the man walk around with lube all the time?

"One more, spit for me Cloud." The General was holding out his hand. Now Cloud understood. He spit into Sephiroth's hand, laughing a little because he imagined that normally 'spitting at General Sephiroth' was probably on some sort of list of the top ten things likely to get you killed.

His own warm saliva joined Sephiroth's between his cheeks, and then the firm, hot tip of the General's general was slipping easily inside of him. The stroking of his own member started in earnest, the silvery strands still slipping along with Sephiroth's hand. Cloud heard Sephiroth groan and realized how close the man was, how heated he must have been before they even started. A roaring filled his ears and his world shook, and the thought of Sephiroth desiring him that much sent him over the edge, the General thrusting to climax right behind him.

When Cloud's head cleared he realized the roaring rushing noises weren't just inside of him. They had been landing. Holy crap, they _had_ landed. No sooner than he had the thought than he heard footsteps behind him, lots of them. Passengers were filing behind them on their way off the ship. Cloud stared out the window in a small panic. Sephiroth appeared to be quite calmly fastening his trousers, and then did the same for Cloud.

Sephiroth wasn't particularly concerned, aside from the fact that he really didn't give a damn what people thought, he hadn't cut his hair in months and it was currently hanging down to the middle of this thighs. But he was looking around for Cloud's shot. It wasn't on the window, or either of their foreheads. He looked surreptitiously at the ceiling. This was Cloud after all.

"Hey, Seph. Thought we were going to have to send a search party for you guys. I got your bags." Zack looked at the two of them, they were both flushed. Cloud looked particularly dazed, like he might fall over if Sephiroth let go of him. He gave his commander a once over glance, half in shock and half in admiration. His eyes lighted on a glittering wet mass at the end of his normally immaculate tresses.

"Say Seph, what's that in your hair?"

**A/N: Once upon a time I looked on the internet for euphemisms for penis. Because it's a problem, you know, most of the words for penis are dorky. Like penis. ****Although**** entertaining ****that list is of little help, but ****on there is "general", and I just can't resist using at least once, "the General's general". **


	7. The Other Way Around

**Disclaimer: **I do not own FFVII or anything in it.

It was late by the time they landed in Costa del Sol airlift station. Sephiroth rented them a car and they picked up groceries for their stay and take-out for dinner on the way to the ShinRa house. Key cards coded for the gate and alarm system got them in, and after a long driveway the house finally came into view. It was wide, flat thing, two stories at the most, with a preponderance of glass facing the dark blankness that sounded like ocean. It sat maybe thirty feet above the beach area, with an enormous deck. It looked like there was more deck than house. Stairs zig-zagged down to the beach.

Zack dropped his takeout selection onto a very fancy dining room table and started opening paper containers.

"I'm so hungry, I could eat a whole Bahamut_ myself,_" he announced. Aerith laughed.

"It's true," Sephiroth said. "I've seen him do it. Horns and all." Now Aerith and Cloud both laughed.

"Next war we're not going to fight," Sephiroth continued, "I'm just going to drop my First Classes behind the lines and let them eat the enemy out of house and home. But this one takes the cake. Literally. Please wash up before dinner, Zachary."

Zack looked down at his hands and gave a 'yes sir', even though he wondered how dirty he could have gotten just sitting on an airship. But as soon as he was up and heading for the kitchen sink Sephiroth riffled through Zack's food and found the small bag he was looking for. Zack looked back in alarm.

"Oh, you are _not_ stealing my potato fingers!"

Sephiroth stuffed four of Zack's greasy fast food delicacies into his mouth at once.

"Argh!" Zack yelled, and Sephiroth darted away as Zack gave chase. Up and over the balcony to the second floor landing they went without use of the stairs. Somewhere in an upstairs room there was a crash, a loud thunk, and at least one distinctive "OW".

Aerith looked at Cloud in amazement. "They're a couple of children," she said.

"I know," Cloud said apologetically. "Are you hungry?"

Ccccccccc

They walked off their greasy dinner with a nighttime stroll on the beach, and despite the late hour there was anticipation left in the air when they returned to the house. They were just starting their three days here and they hadn't even looked the place over or seen the beach in the daylight. They brought their luggage upstairs and Sephiroth immediately walked Cloud into the master suite.

"How come we automatically get the best room?" Cloud asked.

"Because I'm the General."

Cloud frowned at him.

"If you were in Zack's position, would you feel comfortable taking the suite ahead of me?"

Cloud shook his head, "No _sir_, but he has a girl with him. This room has the best bathroom. Girls need… more bathroom space."

Sephiroth rolled his eyes and got up. He hadn't missed the emphasis on the _sir_. If Cloud was happier in another room he was fine with that. All he really needed to be happy was that Cloud be in his room with him. And that the bed be big enough. But when he went out into the hallway Zack and Aerith were selecting separate rooms. Being familiar with Zack's habits he was curious.

"You haven't bedded her yet?" He whispered.

Zack gave him a baleful look. Apparently he had hit a sore spot.

"She's not some floozy I'm taking home for a quickie," Zack said. "She doesn't feel comfortable with me yet. Most people who fall in love get to know each other first, and_ then_ have sex. You and Cloud did it the other way around."

Sephiroth was silent for a moment. "Zack, are you in love?"

Zack smiled, looking embarrassed and little goofy. "Maybe," he said. "But there's this thing stuck between us, it's like it's invisible but I can feel it. I haven't made any progress with her in weeks. I'm not sure she's ever going to love me back."

Sephiroth's heart pained for his friend, especially given he was pretty sure he knew what this stumbling block was. "Maybe this trip will help out with that."

Zack, the eternal optimist, grinned. "Yeah, maybe!"

Sephiroth went back to Cloud and shut the door. "This room is for us," he said.

Ccccccccccc

"Are we the last ones up?" Zack said as he walked into the kitchen in a pair of plaid flannel pajama bottoms. Aerith was fixing some breakfast, but it looked like the others had been there before them.

"_You_ are the last one up, sleepyhead. Cloud and Sephiroth are outside throwing rocks into the water." She frowned, unsure why anyone would want to do that. "They said something about going into town in a little while."

"Oh, right, Cloud needs swim trunks; he doesn't have any."

Aerith stirred the scrambled eggs she was making. She didn't have a suit either, but hadn't wanted to say anything. It would be so nice to go into the water. She'd never been to the ocean before. Zack was probably expecting that she had a swimsuit.

"I don't have a suit either," she said finally.

"Serious? You need one. We should go with them then."

"The shops here are really expensive." she said reluctantly.

"Hey, don't worry about it, I'll get it. You're indulging me anyhow; you think I don't want to see you in a swimsuit?"

Aerith shot him a mock disapproving glance that couldn't help but drop down his naked torso. Zack smiled confidently, and turned his head at a _clack_ from the beach followed by some whooping noises. He knew what they were doing; one was lobbing a rock and the other trying to hit it with his throw. It was a game he and Sephiroth often played in the field to pass the time.

"Honestly, I don't know how they managed to get up so early," Aerith said, "I didn't think they'd ever quit last night."

Zack laughed. "Heard them from your room too?"

"They certainly are an affectionate couple," she said, "You'd think they were on their honeymoon."

"Well, they just said their 'I love you's the other night."

"Aw, that's so sweet," she said, before she could even think it odd she had just referred to General Sephiroth as 'sweet'.

"Yeah, it is," Zack said, and decided he could use a little affection himself. He came up behind Aerith and snaked his arms around her waist, kissing her neck. She giggled a little when he went for her ear.

"Zack, that tickles!" she said.

She turned around in his arms and pushed him out a ways so she could look at him. She hadn't imagined that someone with hair like that could have bedhead, but he did. Instead of sticking up all over it was sticking up on one side and flat on the other. She let her eyes drop down over his chest, right down to the waistband of his flannel pajama bottoms. He had never held her like this before. Her palms were resting lightly on his bare, muscular pectorals.

"See something you like?" he asked.

"Zack!" She chided.

Zack watched as a rose colored blush came into her cheeks. She was so beautiful, not in the flashy, sexy way of girls he wanted to take to bed but then found he wanted to have nothing to do with the next day. She was real, natural somehow. Right. Right for him.

"Aerith, I –."

"No, Zack, don't," she interrupted him, sensing what he was about to say. Or at least the direction of it. She couldn't let him say things like that to her. Not when he had no idea about her, while she kept this secret truth that she knew meant they could never spend their lives together. And yet... she hadn't been so secretive after all. She hadn't been hidden; his commander had known all along where she was. Maybe that opened up more possibilities. Or maybe it just made things more complicated.

While these thoughts ran through her mind Zack's head drooped. He never could seem to get past this point. But then he reminded himself that she was here, she had come even though she hadn't wanted to. She had changed her mind and come to be with him. He smiled.

"Can I kiss you some more?"

She laughed. Zack was just so… irrepressible. "Let me," she said, and kissed him, ignoring the burning eggs behind her.

ccccccccccccccc

"Boogie boards!" Zack had located the storage shed that contained beach toys and had his arms loaded with four colorful, wide boards each about three feet long. He distributed the boards, getting perplexed looks all around. He tripped on his way over to Aerith; the local shops only sold 'fashionable' swimwear, which apparently for women's suits was a euphemism for skimpy.

"Don't tell me you guys have never Boogie boarded?" he asked.

All three shook their heads.

"Piece of cake; I'll show you."

They played with the boards in the water until the surf had thoroughly beat them around and scooped copious amounts of sand into their suits. Cloud grinned widely at Sephiroth, tired but happy.

"Maybe I'll get out and nap," Cloud said.

Sephiroth hooked an arm around his waist and pulled him close through the water.

"Stay out here with me a little longer? Zack will take these in." he said, passing their boards off to Zack.

Cloud smiled and let Sephiroth pull them both out beyond the small surf to where the water ebbed and flowed up to their chests without cresting. Sephiroth turned Cloud so his back was to the open water.

"They say never turn you back on the sea, but I'll keep watch over you."

Cloud smiled and gave himself over to the force of the waves, each one pushing him bodily into Sephiroth. Cloud leaned his hips in, his erection now lengthening and pressing into Sephiroth's already filled out organ. They kissed one another while the powerful water pushed and moved them together, and then Sephiroth lifted Cloud until his feet were off the sandy bottom. Cloud wrapped his legs around the larger man's waist and Sephiroth ran both hands down the outside of Clouds thighs, up under his new swim trunks until he could grip both of Clouds firm buttocks.

Cloud let out a long sigh. "Can we make love out here? Like this?" he asked.

Sephiroth appeared to think about it. "Well, we have a lubrication issue since lube is normally water soluble. But of course if I happened to have a tube of Vaseline in the zipper pocket of my trunks..." He smiled wickedly.

Cloud ran his hands around the back of Sephiroth's trunks, deliberately letting them wander as he did so. He found the pocket, unzipped it and removed the small tube.

"You'll need to take these off," Sephiroth said, tugging at Cloud's trunks.

Cloud floated himself in the water and whisked off his shorts without hesitation. But once he had them off and in his hand he looked at them kind of worried. He always became rather disoriented when they did this and he wasn't sure he'd be able to keep track of them.

"I'll hang on to them," Sephiroth said, sensing his concern.

Now completely free of all clothing Cloud let himself wallow in the divine sensation of unhindered water swirling into every corner and crevice of his body. He spun around in the water and floated himself at the surface on his back, lifting his hips until he could see his own erection break the surface.

"Come here you little fish," Sephiroth said, and pulled Cloud towards himself, keeping his arms under Cloud to broach his whole body into the sunlight. He looked up and down Cloud's body. It was like a Cloud smorgasbord suspended almost right under his nose. He leaned over and caught Cloud's organ in his mouth and let the wave action control the movement of Cloud in and out of his lips. The rhythm of the waves was maddeningly slow and Cloud groaned and arched in frustration. Presently everything stopped and he was getting no stimulation at all.

"What are you doing?" Cloud wiggled in Sephiroth's arms.

"Letting you dry off a bit, the Vaseline will adhere better that way."

"You've done this before," Cloud said.

Sephiroth smiled and moved the Cloud smorgasbord down so he could kiss his lips. "Not in the ocean. And not that it matters, mister. Not if it wasn't with you."

Cloud got that dreamy look in his eyes that Sephiroth had been particularly enjoying during the last two days and he kissed Cloud again. "Now squeeze some of that on yourself and see how that is."

Cloud popped the top on the tube and oozed a hefty dose into his palm. He gripped his shaft, pulled and rotated to spread it around, pushed down until the slotted eye of the head emerged from his curled fingers, and then gave another tug. He smiled and squinted at the same time.

"Feels thick," he said.

"It makes things slow, and we won't have that much time with it, but just concentrate on feeling good, having fun. Don't get focused on result here," Sephiroth said, but even as he said it he thought he might result right there in the water watching Cloud stroke himself while floating in the undulating water.

"My turn," Sephiroth said. He floated easily up, yanked his trunks partway down to expose himself to the air. He collected the Vaseline from the temporarily mesmerized Cloud and coated his own member. Then he was upright again, pulling Cloud to him, guiding one leg to each side of his hips. He reached blindly under the water and aligned himself with Cloud's small puckered opening, and pushed himself in, slowing when Cloud caught his breath. They'd been doing an awful lot of this recently; he thought that he should probably give Cloud a rest for awhile. Concentrate on some other activities. But at the moment the feeling of Cloud's hot body surrounding and holding him was breathtaking.

Cloud drifted his torso back, one hand lazily treading to keep him afloat and the other, distorted and barely visible under the water, working his own sex. Sephiroth's eyes wandered up to Cloud's face, his hair still jutting out even wet, back down to that rippled view of Cloud's sex in his hand. The waves pushed and rolled, adding their force to the equation, each surge ratcheting the breathing and heart rate of the two lovers to a higher level. Before long Sephiroth's breath became jagged and harsh, his eyes rolled upwards and he was pulling Cloud's hips hard to him, a desperate cry escaping his lips. He barely had a chance to look down to see Cloud do the same and the milky white stream spurt into the water. Cloud opened his mouth as he yelled and threw his head back, and would have gotten a mouthful of water if Sephiroth hadn't reached under him and kept him above the surface. Sephiroth watched Cloud in amazement. He had yet to find a situation so challenging that Cloud couldn't manage an orgasm. And he was exceptionally loud this time, maybe because they were surrounded by the considerable ambient noise of the ocean. He caressed Cloud as the boy went through his sleepy, disoriented phase, running both his hands over Cloud's smooth torso and hips.

Both of his hands.

Sephiroth frowned.

"Oops," Sephiroth said, and began looking around at the water surrounding them.

"Don't tell me you dropped them?"

Sephiroth smiled and cringed at the same time. "I really didn't think I would. You want mine?"

"I'm not sure which is going to catch us more grief, me naked or you naked and me wearing your trunks."

"Hey loverboys, lose something?" Zack's was about forty feet away, holding a pair of bright yellow and green swim trunks with a wavy pattern on them. Cloud's.

Sephiroth looked at Zack. He had quite a head start, plus Sephiroth was mired chest deep in water while Zack, who was on the other side of the breakwater, was in barely up to his knees. It could take half an hour to catch him if Zack was in the mood for a chase. And if he decided to throw the prize it might sink or wash out to sea.

"Bring those over here, Zachary," he said in his most General like voice.

Zack didn't budge. He continued to let the trunks wave in the breeze from one precarious fingertip. Sephiroth sighed; he hadn't actually expected that to work. He looked down at Cloud. At least the boy was amused, for the moment. He was still concealed by the water, and it was Sephiroth's job to retrieve the trunks after all since he had been the one who had dropped them.

Sephiroth took a few casual steps forward, seeing if Zack would let him close the distance. No such luck, Zack matched his one step with two of his own, much like a bad dog with a shoe. Sephiroth waited, hoping Zack would feel the need to bait him by coming closer. But Zack had the more patience for this game seeing as how his lover was not standing out in the middle of an ocean waiting for him to make things right. Sephiroth jumped clear of the water towards Zack and Zack ran. Unfortunately for Sephiroth the depths pulled most of the force out of his jump and he had to repeat it before he was past the surf line. It was still faster than slogging through the water, but Zack had already made the beach. Cloud watched in fascination at their game of zig zagging to and fro, feinting, lunging, bounding off the tropical trees, then back into the water to deal with the obstacle of the surf. Cloud had not actually seen Sephiroth move with any prolonged intensity before. His speed and jump distance were terrifying, and Zack was faster and stronger than most Soldiers he'd been allowed to watch. Cloud shook his head. He'd never be that fast.

"Hey Zack!" Aerith, tired of their antics or maybe just wanting to add one of her own, had come up to the water's edge. She unhooked her top and tossed it in. Zack stopped in mid run, the brief image of her bare breasts, out for all to see no less, burned into his mind before she turned away and wrapped her arms around herself. His mind tried to simultaneous think several things at once. _Go get her top! No, go get her a towel! No, go over there and cover her with yourself! No –_

Then the beach came up and slammed into him broadside with a force that almost knocked him out. Damn, sand was hard. Sephiroth, the cause of this upset to the normal directions of sand and sky, was on top of him and yanking Cloud's trunks out of his hand. Not that Zack could have held on, most of his motor skills seemed to have been knocked off line.

When he finally shook himself to rights and cleared his head practicality prevailed and he decided on going after Aerith's swim top. The thing was expensive as hell after all. But lucky it floated and he snagged it easily out of the water and brought it to her. Zack considered briefly holding it out for ransom, but she was already pretty covered up with her arms she would probably just go back into the house and get a shirt. No good. But if he held it out, trying to look sheepish rather than the wolfish way he felt...

Bingo, one arm came forward for the item, exposing more curvature and part of one pink nipple. She turned her back to him to put it back on. He came close up behind her.

"You may not want to do that again with everyone around." He said.

"But your friends like men."

"Cloud is only into guys. Seph likes both."

"Oh!" Her shoulders stiffened. "Oh, no."

He put his arms around her waist, the press of his bare, wet chest against her back preventing her from fixing the lower clasp of her top. "Don't worry," he said, kissing her neck and looking down her front where the bikini top sat loosely hanging from neck strap only. "He's far too preoccupied with Cloud right now."

Zack let his hands run up the front of her rib cage, then to the bottoms of her breasts, gently testing. When her head dropped backwards onto his shoulder he let his hands push all the way up until erect nipples pressed into the palms of his hands. He kissed her neck and at the soft noise she made he slipped the tip of each nipple between two fingers and pinched gently. She turned around in his arms and kissed him, and finally Zack was able to his hands run unrestricted on her torso. He leaned his hips forward and she leaned away slightly. _Not ready for hips_, he thought, and reconsidered his move to dip his hands into her skimpy bikini bottom. But that was fine, he was happy enough to be here for the moment.

Sephiroth lay down to dry out and bask in the sun with the now clothed Cloud and smiled at the other couple. It looked like Zack was finally making some of that progress he had been hoping for.

**A/N: Regarding sand, poor Zack, it really is hard. It seems like it would be soft, but not when you get body slammed into it. One night, while running naked on a golf course with my buddy and a bottle of Tequila, I stopped at the edge of a sand trap that had about a two foot drop. He came up and shoved me from behind and I splatted face down into the thing. It was rather a shock that it was just as hard as hitting any other normal patch of dirt. Luckily he was holding the Tequila at the time.**


	8. sunburn

**Disclaimer: **I do not own FFVII or anything in it. Or Wikipedia

**A/N: I think I finally know where the term lemon comes from. I was looking because I read somewhere that it only applied to homoerotic scenes, but I notice people here use it to describe homo and hetero both. I believe the latter is correct, since the term seems to have originated from a noteworthy hentai series titled Cream Lemon. According to Wikipedia "**_**Cream Lemon**_** is a collection of somewhat surreal stories having different settings and situations at different points in time, with genres including fantasy, comedy, suspense, sci-fi, action, drama and mystery. The overriding theme of the series is sex of almost any kind imaginable." **

"Cloud, I think you're burning." Zack's shadow passed over the blonde's back, but the sleeping form didn't respond.

"Hey, Cloud!" Zack nudged him with one sand coated foot and received only a resistive grunt. "Seph, he's burning."

The green eyes came open and Sephiroth lifted his torso to look at Cloud. Zack's attention veered away from Cloud as he looked at Sephiroth. He had gotten kind of two toned, but he wasn't getting red or brown. The side that had been facing the sun was looking rather silvery. Like his hair. Zack remembered learning in some fool class that the cells from skin and those in hair were similar. Maybe Sephiroth's skin was actually silver. As he watched the line between the cream color on his front side and the silver on his back _moved_ to cover the new area where the sun hit. Zack hadn't noticed this behavior of his friend's skin before. Maybe it was some reflectivity sun defense. He'd have to ask about it later, right now he was being stared at questioningly as if he were the odd one.

"Sunburn?" Zack tried. Sephiroth stared blankly back. "The sun damages the skin, it turns red and hurts?"

Finally there was some recognition. "Yes, I've seen the phenomenon. It hurts?" Sephiroth looked down at Cloud, now a bit worried.

"Well, yeah, it can. Pasty blondes like Cloud can get burned pretty bad. Their skin is really pale."

"Your skin is fairly pale."

"I'm from Gongaga, if I hadn't been loaded up with mako as a teenager I'd be pretty dark skinned, and hairy."

Sephiroth made a face showing his distaste.

"We don't burn. Even though I'm pretty pale now I still don't burn easily. But blond Soldiers, they burn."

Sephiroth looked down at his own chest. "I don't think I do this."

"Nooo. You seem to be turning silver."

Sephiroth frowned at himself once more before returning his attention to Cloud.

"He looks OK."

"Naw, he's all pink."

"He's lying in the sun, maybe he's just warm."

Zack pressed a finger to Cloud's back. When he removed it a whitened oval remained briefly before filling in with pink.

"Burnt," Zack declared.

Sephiroth imitated the test on Cloud, frowning, unsure of what it was supposed to mean. He repeated it to himself, decided he was probably useless as a comparison to anyone, and did it to a spot on Zack's leg. It behaved in roughly the same way. Maybe not as dramatic. He did it to Cloud again. Zack poked Cloud again.

"Quit, you guys! Leave me alone, I'm fine," Cloud said into his towel.

"There, he's fine. Let him be," Sephiroth said, and lay back down.

Zack shook his head and joined Aerith under the umbrella.

cccccccccccccccccc

"That's it, Cloud, you're getting out of the sun." Zack stuck his foot under the boy's torso and rolled him over. Cloud must have been turning over during his basking because his front was also distinctively pink. The afternoon was well on and Cloud had been sleeping in the sun for at least three hours.

Cloud squinted at Zack in defiance.

"I don't care what Seph says, I can't let you lay out here one minute more."

Sephiroth sat up. 'I don't care what Seph says' was not something that normally came out of Zack's mouth. And Cloud did look really... pink. He tugged a bit of Cloud's waistband downward. There was a definite contrast between the exposed and covered skin.

"Come on inside, Cloud," he said and waited for Cloud to get lazily to his feet. When he laid his hand on Could's back he heard him hiss slightly.

"Hurt?" Sephiroth asked.

"Just a little," Cloud said.

Sephiroth moved his hand to Cloud's butt, an area presumably safe from the dreaded 'sunburn'.

"This better?"

"Oh yeah, that's good," Cloud said, smiling lazily.

Sephiroth smiled back. If the pain was minor it couldn't be anything that terrible. Zack was probably overreacting. But he didn't care to have Cloud untouchable all night, even if some of his favorite parts were spared. They'd take a visit to the medkit inside.

Ccccccccccccccccccc

'Ow! Don't touch!"

"Cloud, I don't know what else to do, I'm being as gentle as I can." Sephiroth had resorted to a clear gel found in the medicine cabinet that promised to be 'cool and soothing' to sunburn, but it appeared Cloud found it anything but.

"Hey I told you so." Zack came in looking smug.

"Shut up Zack, you might also have mentioned that materia cannot heal sunburn."

"Well I didn't know that. It's not like we ever tried burning up materia on sunburn before. Did you try a potion?"

"I tried everything. Now I am stuck with this archaic home remedy."

"I'm going to be sick." Cloud stumbled into the bathroom where they could hear him retching.

"He's vomiting? Seph, that's really bad, I've heard that can happen but I've never seen it before."

"He's starting to blister, too. I'm going to take him to the med facility in town. I don't suppose there's much they can do for him besides shoot him up with painkiller and let him lay in a bed for a few days. Damn it. Poor kid, this trip was supposed to be for him."

Aerith peeked in from the doorway. She felt terrible for Cloud, but the look on Sephiroth's face was heartbreaking. In her wildest dreams she would never have imagined the devil of ShinRa moving her heart to pity because of pain he felt for another. But there the strange eyes were, clearly awash with worry, guilt, and anguish. And Zack looked like he was feeling same. Cloud came out of the bathroom, and now that they were indoors it was obvious how lobster-red he was over his entire body. He was even burnt on his scalp where his spikes parted.

Sephiroth looked at Cloud, his affliction as visible as Cloud's sunburn, then turned pleading eyes to Aerith. She sighed. She was not born to watch people suffer and do nothing.

"Cloud, be still," she said. She shut her eyes and opened the door inside of her full force to the planet. It was a disturbing sensation, like willfully drowning as her sense of self slipped away. It took all her concentration to shape the force and direct it outwards toward Cloud. A wind, tainted green, circled around her body then left her in favor of Cloud, swirling around him like a cocoon. Cloud was wide eyed in confusion, but he was rapidly turned from red to white. Then the small cyclone was gone, and Cloud stood looking fresh and normal in his new swim trunks. A long fingered hand reached out and caressed his arm.

"Cloud?" Sephiroth said, and seeing he no longer cringed at his touch he enfolded Cloud in his arms and kissed his forehead.

"What was that?" Cloud asked, "Was it some kind of Cure?"

"Yeah, some kind." He looked at Aerith and mouthed a silent 'thank-you', then brought his gaze over to Zack, who was looking puzzled and maybe a bit angry.

"I think we're going to go upstairs for awhile," Sephiroth said. He nudged a confused but grateful Cloud up the stairs.

When their door shut Zack turned to Aerith. "Do you have something you want to tell me?"

She nodded, her large eyes liquid with developing tears. Where to even start? And now to have to deal with it as if it were being forced out of her, when in fact she had already decided to tell Zack that night. Among other things.

"I'm different," was all could manage.

"I see that. But that's not what's bothering me. This connection with my commander is what's upsetting me. He knew about this 'difference'."

"It's not a _connection_!" she blurted out. "I didn't even know he knew about me until..." She shook her head. This was coming out all wrong. "I thought I was successfully hiding from him. From him and all of ShinRa. That's why I didn't want to come here, on this trip. But when your_General_ came to me and asked me to come with you and told me he already knew where I was..."

"Seph visited you? After I left?"

She nodded.

Zack cut his eyes. Sephiroth was going to get it for this one.

Aerith took a slow breath. Maybe she should start over.

"My mother was the last living full blood Cetra," she said, her astonishing statement effectively interrupting Zack's thoughts. "And she was a prisoner and test subject of ShinRa. One day one of the scientists fell in love with her," Aerith smiled at this romantic family history story. "He stole her and whisked her far away. Then I was born and for a few short days I guess things were good. Then they came. They killed my father and put mother and me back in the lab."

All of Zack's irritation towards Sephiroth was overshadowed by that indignant anger he always felt regarding ShinRa 'test subjects'. Normally that anger was for Sephiroth, bourn from knowing only a small part of what Sephiroth had suffered there. And now he found Aerith had been in the lab, too. He had been more right than he knew; she and Sephiroth did have a connection. An ugly one.

"How did you escape?" he asked.

"There was an explosion one day. The electronic lock on our cell door failed, and there was smoke and confusion. We managed to slip out and work our way through the building. But somebody shot mother, just as we were almost free. I was so scared, but I knew she was gone. I could hear her immediately from the Lifestream. That's what we do, hear the Lifestream, you know that right?"

"I know a little about it," Zack said. In truth his knowledge of the old Cetra legends was pretty shaky, and he hadn't believed any of it. He was going to have to ask a lot of questions later.

"My mother told me to run so I ran. I got down onto the lower plate and never stuck my head up out of it since. I don't know how your friend found me."

Zack considered. Nobody just waltzed out of ShinRa even if there was smoke and confusion. Somebody let them go. Somebody with a good understanding of the lab _and_ the outer security. Not lab personnel. That pretty much left Turks. Or Sephiroth.

Aerith turned away from him, her arms hugging herself. "I was going to tell you, tonight. I know you might not believe that now, but it's true."

Zack considered. He recalled the warming to him on the beach. She was still skittish, but he got the distinct impression that tonight was going to be his night. She had made some sort of decision about him, something that had trust all wrapped up in it. He put his arms around her, their bare skin still warm from the afternoon sun, and kissed her temple.

"I believe you," he said.

Her eyes looked up, full of unexpected hope, and she kissed him for the first time without nerves or worry or reserve, passion spilling from her lips onto his, her body pressed full against him until she could feel a shifting in his groin.

"Wow," Zack said, breaking this kiss. He didn't want to, but there was still something he had to do while he still had a little ire left to do it. And before his body got into an inappropriate state.

"Excuse me just one moment," he said, and then clambered with a tremendous jump right over the rail to the second floor.

Aerith shook her head. As many times as she'd seen him do things like that she never got used to it. There was something wholly unnatural about it. She heard one loud bang on a door.

"Seph! Get you ass out here!"

Oh no. Aerith ran up the stairs. The last thing she wanted was for Zack to fly off the handle at his friend and boss on account of her. But when she reached them she found both men frozen, Zack's face a conflicted jumble of emotions, the General's completely blank. She had never seen a face so blank before on a live person. She reached for some help from the planet as to what he was feeling.

_He's confused. He doesn't know how to proceed._

That was it? All that blankness because he was confused? She blinked her eyes a few times in disbelief. What a strange creature he was.

One of Zack's emotional states must have finally won out, because Zack let his forehead fall against Sephiroth's shoulder. Now the mask broke as Sephiroth at least seemed to know how to respond. He put his hand lightly on the back of Zack's head. But his comfort was short lived as in a moment later Zack jerked up and gave him a forceful shove.

"How could you?" he yelled. "How could you not tell me, day in and day out?"

"Zack, please!" Aerith stepped nimbly in front of him, thinking rather too late that darting between two Soldiers who might take to swinging at each other at any moment might be fatal for a girl her size.

Zack looked at her in surprise. He'd gotten the distinct impression she did not care much for Sephiroth, and now she was defending him?

"He..." Aerith stopped, also finding it hard to believe she was defending the ShinRa general. "He did it because he loves you. Because if he told you it would have robbed you of the chance to hear it from me." Aerith shut her eyes as she said this, because until that moment she hadn't fully accepted that bit of truth, that Sephiroth's complaint was valid. Zack was hurt a little bit every day that he didn't know. And Sephiroth had risked their relationship by withholding that truth for her.

Zack stared at Sephiroth in disbelief. Aerith might be buying that the General would do such a thing, such a considerate, socially adroit thing, but she was giving him too much credit. Zack knew better. "You? You figured all that out?"

Sephiroth blinked at him twice. "No. You told me to do it."

Now it was Zack's turn to blink in confusion.

"Two months ago. I put it to you as an abstract hypothesis."

Zack had to wrack his brain as to what he might be referring to. Then he remembered- an obscure, stilted conversation.

"I thought you were talking about Wilson, and his cheating wife," Zack said.

"Wilson's wife is cheating on him?"

Zack rolled his eyes.

"We should tell him," Sephiroth said.

"She already did," Zack said dismissively. "They worked it out."

"Oh."

There was an uncomfortable lull where none of them were sure how to proceed.

"So… is this the source of your problem with each other?" Zack asked.

Aerith and Sephiroth looked at one another.

"Oh, don't act all surprised. I've just been pretending not to notice in hopes that it would go away."

Sephiroth smiled at the girl, and this time she felt no malice in it. His eyes flicked back into his room to Cloud. The boy was sitting on the bed with his knees pulled up, his blue eyes anxious as he watched them. But he was not in pain.

"I'll find no fault with you today. Not so long as you treat my Zack well," he said.

"_Your _Zack?" Zack pulled Aerith into his arms and coaxed her face into his shoulder so that he might hold Sephiroth's attention to himself. "You put me in harm's way, commander. You let me blindly move about a ShinRa target. I could have been Turked."

Sephiroth frowned. "Since when do I not compensate with Ops when intelligence is withheld?"

"Never, sir." Zack winced. Sephiroth always took care with his men and he knew it.

"I've kept a very close eye on you the last few months. As far as I know you've not been followed or interfered with in any way."

"Gee, I don't know whether to be flattered or creeped out," Zack said. How embarrassing. His love life had come under the category of operations.

Sephiroth studied Zack, then reached over and squeezed his shoulder. "Be flattered. I could not have done this for a man I loved less. On the other hand, had I loved you less it wouldn't have been so painful to keep this from you. Kind of a conundrum, really. Are you finished with me now?"

"Yeah. No. I gotta know something. Was it you? Did you help her escape?"

Aerith shook her head free of Zack's hand so she could look at Sephiroth. Why would Zack think something like that? Of course, it would explain a few things...

"I'm sorry," Sephiroth said, the green eyes fixing on hers. "For your mother. I was pretty young and didn't know how to circumvent Turks at that time. Especially trigger happy rookies. He paid, though." The malicious half-smile was back, and he noticed Aerith shrinking away from him. "Not me, the Turks did not want to keep him after he destroyed such a valuable subject."

Zack shifted uncomfortably. Turks never got fired. They didn't like to have ex-Turks out of Turk clutches. They just disappeared.

"Let's all relax a little bit before dinner." Sephiroth stole another glance back at Cloud. "Then go out? Cloud has a penchant for pizza."

"Sounds perfect." Zack squeezed Aerith and smiled at the thought of pizza. He liked to eat almost as much as he liked to fuck, and it looked like maybe he was going to get to do both tonight. "And Seph? Thanks. For everything."

Sephiroth smiled and shut the door behind him.

"Are you OK?" Sephiroth stroked Cloud's cheek with the back of his fingers.

"I don't like to see you Zack fighting."

"I think we're OK now. He let me off pretty easy. I know you're curious about this, and we can talk about it more once Zack feels more settled with the whole thing."

Cloud nodded. He brought his hands tentatively up to Sephiroth's waist, his fingers tracing the waistband of his maroon and white patterned swim trunks. He had been told to stop earlier, gently, but Sephiroth had never told him to stop before. He hoped the General had perhaps just been waiting for Zack to make his appearance.

"Now?" Cloud asked quietly.

"Now," Sephiroth said, smiling warmly and kissing Cloud.

Cloud tucked his fingers shyly inside Sephiroth's waistband, and then slowly and carefully undid the tie. But he didn't push the trunks downward; instead he ran his fingers back and forth between skin and fabric.

Sephiroth looked at Cloud, curious. Cloud was moving cautiously, a sign that he was doing something new and was unsure of himself. The boy had undressed him before, even yanking clothing off in fits of passion. But this time was a little different. He was working alone, Sephiroth hadn't made a move to remove Cloud's trunks and Cloud was still covered, at least in the most important respect he was clothed. Normally Cloud was the first one undressed. Clothing equaled power, control, and Sephiroth smiled, guessing what Cloud wanted. It excited him to see that adventurous side of Cloud, that desire to try something different. Sephiroth lifted his hips and pushed his own trunks down until he could kick them free. Then he laced his fingers behind his head and stretched his full length onto the bed.

"Is this what you want?" Sephiroth asked, his low, velvety tone enough to induce a prickle on the back of Cloud's neck that ran down the backs of his arms.

Cloud nodded, swallowing and licking lips that had gone dry. It looked like Sephiroth was going to let him touch and gaze at him to his hearts desire. And his desire was considerable. He'd never had this type of leisure to admire Sephiroth physically, and the General was so utterly beautiful. Every muscle on his body was visible under the skin, his erection a trophy centered atop his long, lean frame. Cloud started with one fingertip at one of Sephiroth's upturned elbows, tracing the groove between well developed biceps and triceps. He ran them over Sephiroth's armpit, moving a smattering of pale hair so fine it easily went unnoticed. He slid a cupped hand around pectorals and then to the top of his stomach, ridged and resilient under his palm. Another very fine line of fine hair graced the center of his body below his navel, lying directly under Sephiroth's stiffened member. Cloud gazed for a long minute at Sephiroth's genitalia, nestled in a bright corona of sliver tendrils. But he didn't touch. He ran his fingers around the edges, into the corners between his testicles and thighs, tracing up over the top on his stomach. Sephiroth groaned softly and shifted, a glistening drop appearing at the tip of his phallus.

Cloud resisted the temptation to flick the small, sparkling drop with his tongue and looked to Sephiroth's face to make sure the older man was interested in continuing this indulgence. Sephiroth was smiling gently, but his eyes exuded anything but patience. They held the quivering excitement of a waiting hunter. The anticipation was catchy, and Cloud's heart rate picked up as he looked back down at his work. He wasn't finished yet. He ran his fingers down the tops of Sephiroth's thighs, so light the man twitched under the attention. He stroked over both calves, finally to feet which jerked as Cloud stroked the arches. They jerked even more as fingers danced just under the toes.

"You're ticklish," Cloud said, wondering why he hadn't spent time investigating Sephiroth's feet before. Sephiroth made a noise half way between a yelp and laugh as Cloud bit one big toe lightly, his teeth scraping across the surface, the edge of his lip picking up stray grains of sand that still clung there. Then Cloud ran both hands up the inside of Sephiroth's legs until they cupped his sack. He dragged the point of his tongue up Sephiroth's shaft then engulfed the head in his mouth. He sucked out slowly, once twice, then stopped. He did this again, and heard Sephiroth moan as he lifted slightly upward, his hips seeking those warm, wet lips again. Cloud repeated the two slow sucks, and stopped again. He could feel the tension and heat in Sephiroth's body, and he meant to force him out of his self imposed containment. Again, one two, stop.

Cloud heard what he might only describe as a growl and then he was on his back, hands pinned to the mattress in a grip so strong his wrists burned with pain. Sephiroth was over him with a look so feral that Cloud exhaled a terrified whimper.

"Shhh, shh, it's OK." The grip loosened and the face became the lover once more. Sephiroth dipped his head forward and kissed Cloud carefully on the corner of his mouth, on his forehead, and over his eyelids until the boy's fearful panting ceased. Sephiroth looked down at him.

"Do you like being pinned this way?"

Cloud immediately shook his head no. Somehow he thought he should like it, but it kind of encouraged panic in him.

"So do something about it. Toss me."

Sephiroth's tone was playful now, and Cloud considered his position. He shifted his legs which were pinned between Sephiroth's. The General's hands immediately opened as alarm took the green eyes.

"Shiva, not that one if you want to make use of me for the rest of this vacation. Choose another; send me sideways."

"I won't be able to do it. You're heavier and too well settled."

"So wait until I'm distracted." Sephrioth brought his lips to Cloud's, caressing them with his own, his tongue dancing and teasing. Before long his left hand came down off Cloud's wrist to touch face and neck and chest. Cloud's brain registered that this was the moment, although he was seriously distracted himself. But he popped his right hip up and shoved with his right hand and Sephiroth went over sideways, Cloud following so he might be on top. Sephiroth laughed and continued the roll to reverse their positions again, realizing they were both going over the edge, Cloud on the bottom. Sephiroth had meant to wind up on top but didn't want to land on top of Cloud on the hard floor to do it. With one last desperate acrobatic maneuver at the corner of the bed he flipped them both over and he thudded his back into the floor, Cloud on top of him.

"Ow." Sephiroth squinted. He had actually hit his head on the nightstand on the way down.

"You OK?" Cloud asked.

Sephiroth smiled. Whatever pain he had was already subsiding, and Cloud was lying full length on top of him. He couldn't complain. Except...

"Take these off," he said, tugging at Cloud's trunks.

Cloud managed, and Sephiroth guided him until he was sitting ontop of his thighs, straddling him with his knees. He pulled Cloud forward until the skin on their scrotums softly melded together. Sephiroth lifted his own member off his stomach with his thumb and hooked it together with Cloud's in his long fingers.

"I've been thinking about this for awhile," he whispered, pleased to see Cloud mesmerized by the sight of both of them being held together. He reached up to the nightstand and snagged their bottle of lube, and drizzled the viscous fluid around and between both tips the way one might adorn a desert with chocolate sauce.

"I want us to stroke together." Sephiroth said.

Cloud lent a hand to the effort and they moved their grips around so as maximize squeezing. But they'd be stuck with same rhythm and Cloud's was quite a bit faster than Sephiroth's. They could compromise, but Sephiroth was unsure whether Cloud could use anything less than optimum given they had already been together once today and he had been retching less than an hour ago. But Cloud didn't look tired, anything but. After receiving what he believed was called the "healing wind" from Aerith Cloud was remarkably restored all around. He probably wasn't even sore anymore.

"Ohhhh," Cloud moaned, watching the show in front of him. Sephiroth watched Cloud's face, the rising excitement plain in the pink of his cheeks. Sephiroth was pretty sure he could pop off at any time, just watching Cloud's face. The beauty of this maneuver was to go together. He encouraged them to a faster pace and Cloud's whole neck and face reddened, his breathing accelerated, and he stiffened just a bit more under Sephiroth's fingers. _Now_ he thought, made sure he got the last squeeze he needed, and in tandem bodily spasms they sent up streams that mixed together into the air, sparkling briefly in the light before landing, some of it on Sephiroth, some elsewhere.

"Oh," Cloud said, already getting drowsy. "Sorry."

Sephiroth smiled gently and reached for a tissue. He dabbed some off his chest and cheek.

"Don't you ever apologize for getting jism on me. Or in my hair. Or on my leather couch. Or my walls, the carpet, the window sill that one time..."

Cloud smiled and Sephiroth moved him forward, up and over his member until Cloud was straddling his stomach. He propped up his knees so Cloud could lean back and rest against his thighs. He adored watching Cloud in his post-coital state.

"You hungry?" Sephiroth asked after a few minutes. "Pizza?"

Cloud smiled happily, but then both pricked their ears at new sound. A woman's voice, she was... moaning. Higher pitched cries accented her sounds. Cloud and Sephiroth looked at one another, eyebrows raised.

"Or I guess we could wait a little while," Sephiroth said.

Cloud leaned his weight into his makeshift chair, a little embarrassed thinking the thin walls must work both ways, but overall too happy to care.

**A/N: So, one of you asked in the reviews to explain that naked sandtrap story. What the hell.**

I used to think when I saw some undergarment lying at the edge of the sidewalk or in a bush (this kind of thing only happens on campus I suppose) that the owner, walking along with his or her amore, was suddenly possessed with desire to have sex right then and there, loosing garments in the process. But now I believe that's not what happens. Not that those scenes don't occur, just that they usually don't result in forgetting where the underwear was. This is more the behavior of drunk. The drunk is strolling about in the wee hours of some beautiful summer night, and is suddenly possessed with the desire to run amok naked. If you've never had this urge I probably can't help explain it to you. But as a nudist at heart I promise you that alcohol increases the inclination. The drunk is apt to range far and wide in this blissful trek and is particularly ill suited to find all the items cast aside.

One night, while drinking Jose out of the bottle at my friend's apartment on a lovely summer's eve, we looked out over the golf course visible from his balcony.

"You know," he said, "My friends and I used to go play golf at night on the local course. It's free then."

"Do you have clubs?" I asked

"No. But we should go out there anyhow."

"We should bring the tequila."

"We should be naked." (I forget who said that part).

"Wait!" I said, "This is _exactly_ how people lose their underwear. This isn't going to happen to me!"

I took off my clothes, put my underwear on the coffee table, and put my clothes back on.

We walked (probably staggered) out to the golf course, stripped off our clothes, and ran around in beserk alcohol and nudity induced joy. We had the little sand trap incident. And we tried to swim in the water hazard. Don't do that, those things are nasty. And as it was Michigan returned back with about eight million mosquito bites, which we counted on each other. We had a very long, intense conversation in the shower which was probably about nothing, and then we passed out. I still had my underwear, and although the evening was rife with nudity no sex was involved (that I recall).


	9. A Long Dry Spell

**Disclaimer: **I do not own FFVII or anything in it.

**A/N: Sorry, I know it's been awhile for this update but this chapter is a monster (10K). But what could I do, can't cut 'till the lemon. And I'm rushing, sorry there's probably more errors now. I need to finish this thing up before Nov 1 because I'm not writing any fanfic in November. **

Cloud flipped the keycard between his fingers as he walked down the hallway. Thirty-fourth floor of the ShinRa Tower, and the card keyed for the General's quarters that had allowed him to control the elevator up to this level. Cloud smiled. It was nice up here. Even the hallway was posh. And Sephiroth was going to be soooo surprised to see him, even if it was five in the morning. He was two days early, after all. Colonel Kuhn had dismissed him a tad early from his Location Month in Corel and he had just managed to jump on a transport home. And he thought of Midgar as home, now. After graduation when all the cadets were given their assignments he would be assigned to Midgar. He'd be given third class quarters, but he expected to spend most of his time up here.

Cloud paused in front of the door, savoring the anticipation. It had been a pretty hard, austere month in Corel and Cloud was looking forward to Sephiroth's attentions, to lie in his arms for a few hours, maybe lounge around in that tub later. But what he missed most was probably the man's voice. And someone to talk to, someone he could talk to easily instead of clamming up like he normally did. As he was still trying to survive his cadet training without special favors he had only talked to Sephiroth on his allowed phone time of twice a week. During those phone conversations he yammered away about everything he was doing. The General didn't say much about his days, he was mostly working, much of which Cloud didn't have the rank to hear about. Sometimes he had talked about Zack, but the young First Class was spending more time with Aerith and Seph had said outright that he was lonely.

Cloud smiled as he slid the card into the reader. He'd take care of that in a hurry. He stepped in and dropped his bag near the door, and was about to remove his boots, but something was wrong. The smell, specifically. As his mako level came up his sense of smell had sharpened, and there was something definitely out of place here. Some new and offensive chemical was present.

"Seph?" he called out. Surely the General already heard him open the door, and either assumed it was him or was preparing an attack.

"Cloud- you're early!" The joyous note in his voice made Cloud smile. But the sounds coming from the back of the apartment were also confusing. Who was he talking to back there? It wasn't nice whatever it was, some grousing, and he heard a distinctive 'out!' at least once.

Cloud took a few steps forward, his boots for the first time printing the ivory carpet, until he could see the bedroom door. It opened and two rather harassed looking females came out. Very exotic, artificially enhanced, barely dressed females.

"I'm sure you're quite capable of calling your own cab. Out." Dressed in his maroon silk robe Sephiroth was physically shooing them down the hall.

The lead girl tottered on her four inch spike heels and rolled her eyes at her friend.

"He's a good lay, but what a _bastard_," she hissed. The other nodded her head in agreement.

"Oh, hi sweetie!" one crooned, finally noticing Cloud who was standing in the living room with his mouth hanging open. She reached a red enameled clawed hand to touch his face and Sephiroth knocked it away.

"Out," he repeated, holding the front door open.

The girls left in a huff and Sephiroth sighed, then reached out with his own hand to touch Cloud, only to have it knocked away as well. His eyebrows shot up in surprise.

"Wha.. wha.." Cloud stammered, motioning to the door through which the offensive owners of the chemical odor had disappeared. A bright angry flush rose to his cheeks as his nose picked up another scent, the smell of sex, Sephiroth's semen at least, and something else pungent that he supposed was from the women. He'd never been with a woman and had no desire to, but the mixed smell was all over Sephiroth.

"Cloud, what's wrong?" Sephiroth asked.

Cloud stared at him. This was Seph's idea of lonely? As soon as Cloud was gone for a few weeks a couple of floozies so easily filled the vacuum? Obviously the General didn't care at all who shared his bed. Was their time together of so little importance? Maybe just… convenient for the man?

"I can't stay here," Cloud said flatly and picked up his bag.

"Cloud-." Sephiroth touched his shoulder and Cloud whirled and flung Sephiroth's arm away from him.

"Don't touch me!" he bellowed. "Don't talk to me! Don't call me, don't come see me, unless you mean to order me to fuck you!"

"Gaia, Cloud, no!" Sephiroth backed up at the blonde's sudden fury, a mildly horrified look on his face. "Cloud, I don't understand this."

"Figure it out yourself," Cloud said bitterly, flung the front door open and took off at a dead sprint towards the stairs. Sephiroth considered following, he should be able to catch him (although he had no idea Cloud was that fast) but he guessed it would do him no good. Cloud was obviously in no mood to talk to him. He went back into his apartment and picked up his phone.

Cccccccccccc

"So what in the name of ShinRa is so important that I have to be here at six am?"

Zack's sleepy frame fell into his desk chair. It was his office but his commander was already in it, ensconced in the guest chair, arms crossed over his chest looking sullen.

"Cloud and I had a fight."

"Oh. Your first fight, congratulations. How cute."

"This isn't funny Zack. He is really angry."

Zack sighed. "What'd ya do?"

"Why do you assume it was me?"

"I know you. He's back, then?"

"Yes, came back early, about an hour ago. You know I went to that party of Rufus' last night?"

"Yeah, the annual executive debauch?"

Sephiroth nodded.

"You didn't fuck that Turk you take after every year, did you? That redhead?"

Sephiroth scowled. That annual drunken tumble always resembled something of a fight. It was a good thing he'd given it up before he wound up killing the man.

"No. Cloud had expressed some jealousy before so I figured out I should not do that."

"Good," Zack said.

"But he seemed upset over the party favors I brought home."

Zack blinked a few times. Maybe he was still asleep. "Wait, backup. Party favors? You mean HoneyBee girls?"

Sephiroth nodded. "They're paid through the night. I always take two home."

"And…Cloud saw you with them?"

"There were still there when he came in. I had them leave right away."

Sephiroth was expecting another "good" comment from Zack, but what he got instead was Zack working his jaws much the way Cloud had earlier with no sound coming out.

"Why did you do that? Take them home, I mean," Zack finally said. "You knew Cloud was jealous."

"They're girls." Sephiroth said simply, frowning.

Zack let his forehead hit his desk and stayed there for several seconds. Good grief, he hadn't spent much time examining Sephiroth's sexual attitudes. Maybe he should have.

"Seph, you don't get one of each, or some of each, you get one."

Sephiroth shook his head, looking honestly perplexed. "How can he be jealous over girls?"

"You had sex with them!"

"But they didn't mean anything to me!"

"Well, you used the same…parts with them that you do with him! It's the same thing."

"My body? This is about my body? What is that to me? Had I any attachment to my body I would have never survived my youth! This hand-" Sephiroth stood up holding out his right hand, now extremely agitated, "This same hand that I have strangled men with and cut men to pieces I use to caress him, you would say that is the same thing because it is the same part of my body? I love Cloud. The thing I give him is in my heart and my mind and that I share with no one! What right does he have to be jealous?!?"

Zack shook his head. Sometimes Sephiroth's odd point of view was hard to argue with. He was sure there was something wrong in Sephiroth's logic, at least as far as human beings worked, but he'd have to give it some thought to root it out of there.

"OK, calm down, please," Zack said. "You just have to trust me here, the only important point is that Cloud views this the same way I do. You were unfaithful. You betrayed him."

Sephiroth sat back into the chair, a painful understanding coming across his face. Betrayal was something he understood. He understood the unforgivability of it.

"Seph, sometimes this can't be fixed."

The green eyes shot up in alarm.

"Zack, this has to be fixable. Tell me you can fix this."

Zack shook his head. He wasn't sure Cloud should forgive him. He knew how sensitive Cloud's nature was; this was probably devastating the poor kid. Sephiroth with all his odd problems was maybe more than Cloud should be expected to handle. He watched Sephiroth's face, enough pain there that in any other man he'd expect to see a glisten in his eyes. But not this one. Never a tear did he shed. Zack knew why, after so much field work with him, some in the dry dusty desert, he knew why. And as he watched the strange feline eyes they did the thing that always made him flinch a little even when he was prepared. The milky white inner eyelid swept from the inside corners out. Then they did it again. Zack had never seen it occur with that kind of frequency. He thought it must be his version of weeping.

_Gaia, what did they do you?_ Zack's chest squeezed painfully. Cloud had been the first thing in Sephiroth's life that seemed to really make him happy. To soften him in any way.

"I'll try to talk to him."

Sephiroth's gaze shot up hopefully.

"But _you_ have to promise to be patient. This could take awhile to even know if he can recover or not. And for now stay away from him."

Sephiroth nodded, relieved to be receiving some direction.

"And try not to think about him too much right now. Try to work. Go find something to kill, that always keeps you busy."

Zack looked at Sephiroth's face for a long moment, a little uneasy to be the one giving orders. A little uneasy that his commanders visage had gone blank.

"Thank-you, Zack," Sephiroth said, and strode out of his office.

Zack blew out a breath he'd apparently been holding and then headed over to cadet barracks.

ccccccccccccccc

The second year cadet barracks was deserted; the place even smelled stale for not having been occupied for almost a month. All the second years were still out on their Location Month assignments. All except one. Zack carefully approached the lone cadet near the left side of the room.

"Cloud?" he said gently. The form didn't stir. Zack stepped gingerly around the bunk and sat down next to the boy. Cloud's hands were buried in his face.

"C'mon, Cloud, look at me."

Cloud brought his head up, wiping wetness down his face as he did so, his blue baby shiners red with irritation. Zack felt a squeezing behind his own eyes in response.

"How could he do this?" Cloud said.

His voice was hoarse, probably from sobbing, and Zack was pretty sure that that this was the wrong time to try to defend Sephiroth's actions in any way.

"I don't know," Zack said.

He reached cautiously around Cloud's head and shoulders and pulled him close. Cloud allowed the contact and pressed his face into Zack's chest, making no sound or movement, his hands fisted and pulling hard at the back of Zack's shirt. Zack felt the warm tears wet his shirt and looked around the empty barracks. The bunks next to Cloud would belong to his friends, Anthony and Thom. There were a few other cadets that Cloud was friendly with. But none of them were here now. And Cloud had nothing to do for the next two days. Zack thought that he better find some work for the kid.

"Hey Cloud, there's no sense staying here by yourself. Why don't you crash with me for a few days. You have all your stuff ready?"

Cloud sniffed and nodded. "I wasn't expecting to be sleeping here."

"OK, grab your bag, c'mon. You can get settled in, take a shower, nap maybe, if you can, I know that can be hard right now..."

"Thanks," Cloud said, looking up and smiling weakly. It sounded like Zack understood pretty well how he felt.

"Then I'm going to put you to work. Can't have you lazing around, you know, this is the Soldier program after all."

cccccccccccc

Zack's apartment was nothing like Sephiroth's. It was in the West residential building, which lacked any sort of style on its own. Zack's quarters were haphazardly decorated, if one could call a few posters and a beer sign decorating. The carpet was a well worn shag of orange and green. The furniture likewise looked quite lived in.

"You wouldn't know by the look of it, but that couch is stupid comfortable," Zack said. "Sometimes I don't even make it to the bed."

He noticed Cloud eyeing the carpet.

"I know. Hideous, isn't it? On of these centuries ShinRa is going to get around to updating these units. Thankfully I won't be here to see it. This is still my Second Class lodgings. First Class is over in the East building, it's less convenient, or you can get a stipend towards a place in town. I haven't decided what I want to do yet.

Cloud nodded rather absently. He tended to forget Zack had only been First Class for a few months, so easily did he take to the job and so ubiquitous was he at the General's side. The thought of Sephiroth mad his stomach hurt.

"OK, I'm going to run back to the office, take care of some things and get your schedule arranged. I'll be back in two, maybe three hours. Make yourself at home, I sure you can find everything, it's all pretty, uh, standard."

Zack looked around, seeming suddenly uncomfortable. Cloud got the impression he didn't have many house guests.

"Its fine, Zack, really. Thanks."

"OK, great. You have my PHS number, call if you need anything, and if you can't sleep, I recommend the movie channel. Shameless, gripping, take-your-mind-off-yourself violence and drama twenty-four-seven.

Cloud nodded. Zack did know how this felt.

ccccccccccccccccccccccccccc

"Did you talk to him?"

Zack jumped at the sound of Sephiroth's voice. Even with his enhanced hearing he sometimes still didn't hear the General sneaking around.

"No. I held him. He cried on me. He is really un-ready to talk about you, at least in any positive way. I've put him up in my apartment and am getting some assignments ready for him until the rest of his cadet group comes back."

"I want to see him."

"Absolutely not! You agreed to be patient, remember?"

Sephiroth nodded.

"Why aren't you out killing stuff?" Zack demanded.

"I'm heading out now. There's a nice big nest of Zolom on the eastern border of the city that needs clearing out. Is that _acceptable_ to you?"

Zack shut his eyes. Patience, patience, they all needed patience right now and he shouldn't be the first one to be running short on it.

"I'm sorry, sir. But I am going to ask one more thing of you, and only because I care about you. I expect you're distracted right now. Please don't go alone."

Sephiroth considered. He didn't like it but Zack was right, his game would certainly be off. And he did have a candidate for First Class that needed observing.

"I'll bring Cho."

Zack nodded approvingly. Cho was a sharp, focused fighter, with the kind of dedicated attachment to the General befitting a First Class. He'd look after Sephiroth.

ccccccccccccccccccccccccccc

ccccccccccccccccccccccccccc

"I don't want to hear it Zack."

Cloud dropped the bar into the catch and rolled out from under it. Zack came around from the end, wondering why he even bothered spotting for the kid, there didn't seem to be any weight Cloud wasn't stubborn enough to push through, even at his max. And speaking of stubborn, Zack had been trying carefully to broach the subject of Sephiroth all week with zero luck. They returned the heavy iron disks to their pegs and moved over to the dumbbell area. Zack shooed a Third Class over so they might have two benches next to each other. Cloud selected a pair of 40 pounders; he was going up one notch today from his normal thirty-fives on this one. For Soldier he was still picking out of the shallow end, but closer to the middle now. Zack was _way _down at the deep end selecting his weights. Cloud sighed; he'd probably never catch up to Zack even if he made First Class. Zack was just big; he carried more muscle than he needed even given his enormously heavy weapon choice because he just enjoyed having all that mass. And he loved the gym, an affinity of which Cloud previously had no understanding. But since the Soldier base in Corel where he had done his Location Month had almost nothing to do during time-off, he himself had taken up quite a gym habit and now found it relaxing. Especially now in his constant state of upset.

Both men sat at the ends of their benches and leaned forward with a dumbbell on each side of their feet on the floor. Cloud reached down and hoisted his, but Zack waited.

"I'm just saying it might not hurt to hear him out," Zack said, "Oh, up a little, keep your torso at forty-five degrees."

Cloud corrected, and Zack frowned, wondering if Cloud had messed up his form just to distract him off the topic. He waited for Cloud to finish his set.

"Stop, Zack. I mean it. I can't think about him without remembering scenes that used to make me feel good but now hurt like hell. I can't look at him without that smell invading my nose all over again, that smell of him and those two whores wafting off of him. Do you know what that's like?"

Zack imagined going down to Aerith's church and seeing some other sexual partner leave, smelling her fluids and the other man's both on her. He shuddered and picked up his weights to drive the image and the imaginary smell out of his mind.

"I'm sorry," Zack said when he finished his set. "I just hate seeing you unhappy. And he's driving me insane, all of us really."

"Why don't you tell him to go pick up a couple of girls then!" Cloud said hotly, "I know what you'd say Zack, if I gave you the chance. That it's not his fault that he's odd, that he does things. That he feels differently about things. Well I need somebody who feels the same way that I do. Our time together was important to me. Our _sexual_," Cloud hissed in a whisper, "time was important to me. In way that it's clearly not for him. He was my first." Tears sprang unbidden to Cloud's eyes. "I had been hoping he would be my last." Cloud stood up to leave.

Zack grabbed a handful of the back of Cloud's shirt, stopping his progress. "OK, I quit, promise. Finish your reps." Cloud sat back down and the two continued their routine in silence.

ccccccccccccccccccccccc

ccccccccccccccccccccccc

The nights were the hardest, when Cloud lay in his bunk with nothing to distract himself. And he always lay awake for at least an hour. It didn't seem that it was possible to make himself tired enough during the day to avoid this particular hour of hell. His mind replayed for him unbidden every intimate word and gesture from Sephiroth. All the times he felt loved, now felt false and humiliating. He listened to the other cadets near him, snoring softly. Thom and Anthony, one enduring injections the other a sexual act for which he had not taste and _now_ injections since he had started shining- they both seemed lucky to him now. He wished he would have never known the General, it would have been far better. Whoever said that 'better to have loved and lost' thing was an idiot.

Then, just as he would start to drift off to sleep, his mind would play the meanest trick of all. It would imagine in a very convincing sense that everything was alright, that he was in Sephiroth's arms once more, that they talked and laughed and exchanged secret earnest glances across the room, and he would wake up wildly happy before his conscious mind brutally reasserted the truth over his more fanciful sleeping self. These things would never happen again. Maybe Sephiroth had loved him, in his own strange definition of love, but it was not a love Cloud was going to be able to survive. So every night he polished and honed his resolve to throw himself into his studies, he forced himself to review the day's material in his head, until gradually the concentration of facts and figures and tactics filled every corner of his mind and squeezed out his self pity, and he slept.

Days went by for Cloud in this fatigued haze. For an entire week they reviewed for their final book exams, a process that took a week in itself. After book exams was one last hurdle, a week's worth of field tests known as Final Camp. It was also a chance to get to work with the First Class Soldiers, since they traditionally ran the camp without any Second or Third Classes to buffer between them and the cadets. It was the only time in the year to see such a high concentration of First Classes; they would come from all over for this event. The end of the camp marked graduation for the survivors. Most cadets who made it that far did pass, that was about twenty out of the original forty that Cloud started with two years ago. Every few years a cadet was dismissed or held back during the testing period, normally for disciplinary issues. But the cadet who scored the highest over all the testing got to actually choose where he was assigned after graduation. Cloud had found himself the front runner for this contest at some point during the book exam week. He really wanted, needed that award. He needed to be able to choose anyplace but Midgar. He thought maybe Corel or Rocket Town. He would miss Zack, but maybe he could visit his mother more. He was attracted to Wutai because it sounded exciting, but rejected that option because Sephiroth was at the Wutai base quite often.

Zack had not given up in his obvious desire to bring him and Sephiroth back together, although his efforts had been more subdued as of late. Cloud was unsure whether this was in deference to his exams or Zack was slowly letting the matter go. Or maybe it was Cloud's defensive tactic of getting up and walking away every time Zack tried something.

"Hey, you know what I heard? The _General_ actually goes to Final Camp with us!"

Cloud looked over at the group off to the side of where he, Anthony, and Thom were walking. He had been hearing this all day; the whole group was fretfully excited over the idea of the top commander being at the camp. Twice he had found himself caught up in their excitement, his heart giving a little jump at the thought of the great General, war hero, legend, before he reminded himself that this was the same man he was trying to avoid. At these times he found it felt rather surreal to think of himself having been with Sephiroth in any personal way. He supposed he was gaining some distance.

Anthony and Thom both looked at him apologetically. Cloud shrugged. It wasn't their fault after all. And he appreciated them, but there wasn't much they could do for him. Like the people around a new amputee, they tried to be friendly, cheerful; hoping that if they didn't look at the ugly stump everything would be normal. And Cloud supposed it would, eventually, but the Hell Hour every night argued otherwise.

They were heading back to the showers after the endurance test. It had been a grueling two hours and Cloud had won another top mark. He was in good shape after a very physical month in Corel, and even though his mako level had been sagging he was still near the top of the class. He wasn't stabilized yet, so until that happened he would continue to sag. In another few weeks he would have to start on injections.

"You two go on without me," Cloud said to his friends. "I need to do some stuff."

"You're _not_ going to run after that, are you?" Anthony asked.

Cloud grimaced. He knew it sounded crazy, but he hadn't quite reached that level of exhaustion he knew he needed. "Just like a little... cool down thing. You know, my fucking head full of broken glass and razor blades."

The other two boys nodded and went on, shaking their heads as they walked.

"Cadet Strife, may I see you?"

Cloud shut his eyes. That wasn't a request. He straightened himself up to a respectful posture and turned, keeping his face neutral and eyes lowered to about the General's chest. All the other cadets must have cleared the area; they were alone in the big training hall.

"Cloud, will you look at me?" Sephiroth asked.

Cloud did so, and was dismayed at the amount of disruption in his body at the sight of those green eyes. Gaia, what a traitor his body was. His heart leapt excitedly in what Cloud couldn't be sure wasn't joy, his knees felt suddenly absent, and even his sex, which hadn't so much as sported a morning wood in the last two weeks moved slightly. Cloud forced his will to be master of his body, forced himself to hold Sephiroth's eyes. Oddly enough Peterson's rules of troop placement in combat started rolling in his head. All that late night ruminating seemed to be good for something.

"Cloud I'd like a chance to explain myself to you."

"Of course sir. If you're ordering me to stay and listen."

Sephiroth was taken aback by the cold formality of Cloud's tone. Two weeks ago he had seen an intensity of anger he hadn't known Cloud was capable of. Sephiroth felt lost, confused, and wondered if he knew the young man in front of him at all.

"I only offer to explain if you listen of free will, cadet."

"In that case, sir, I request to be left alone. Am I dismissed?"

Sephiroth pushed back a bright seed of anger. He was sure Zack would say this was the wrong time for anger. This would be the time for... disclosure? Opening of the heart? Sephiroth made a guess.

"Cloud, I love you."

"Well I don't. Love you." Cloud's eyes burned a fire fierce and cold at the same time, a hint of green tainting the blue. "I never did. Just some... adolescent obsession. It's time I did my last bit of growing up."

Cloud held the General's eyes, which were now more hostile and terrifying than he had ever seen them. But he held them. He had to. His whole sanity depended on it, and if he couldn't get Sephiroth to leave now he was going to crumble and fall into his arms and beg to be loved again. And the whole thing would start all over, culminating into this same, horrific pain. He would repeat the mistakes of his mother, constantly going back to the unfaithful man who eventually left her. Left them both. He needed to end this right here so he could maybe get on with some semblance of a life. It was all he had wanted, really, to be Soldier. He hadn't come looking for all of this.

Then quite suddenly he was seeing Sephiroth's back, that familiar sight of his swinging hair retreating away from him, only this time he wasn't following. He let Sephiroth walk out the door, and for a long minute his stood stone still in place. Then he dropped to his knees and laid his head in his hands on the floor, and wept one last time.

ccccccccccccccccccc

ccccccccccccccccccc

Camp was less uncomfortable than Cloud had anticipated. They had decent sized tents, each with three or four cots in them. Cloud, Anthony, and Thom managed to get a tent together. The camp itself was a large expanse of field just outside of the Midgar boundary, just on the other side of the wall from Blue Street, a famous block of bars, strip clubs of all kinds, and brothels. Most of the cadets couldn't quit talking about what ways they might slip their superiors and get over that wall for a night. Of course this was no easy consideration, given all of their superiors were First Class. All but two First Classes were present, Wutai needed a strong First Class Colonel at all times, and a situation in Rocket Town had demanded another stay there. A First Class none of them knew, a guy named Malik from Mideel, was in specifically charge of grading them for the entire week.

And of course the General was there. Cloud was grateful to find Sephiroth avoiding him, although he felt oddly lonely every time the General turned away when Cloud was in the vicinity. But he dismissed these feelings as best he could. This was what he had wanted, and it had worked perfectly. Even during an activity appropriately named 'Cadet Toss', where the cadets demonstrated their rolling and landing skills after being tossed twenty feet through the air by various Soldiers, Sephiroth had traded himself out with Colonel McIntyre when Cloud's turn came up in his line.

"Sorry, kid," Gavin said, expecting the typical cadet disappointment for missing out on getting to do something with Sephiroth. "Looks like it's just me."

"I'm happy with you, sir," Cloud said, hardly believing what came out of his mouth. Was he just relieved to have avoidied being thrown, handled by Sephiroth? Or was he flirting?

Gavin smiled, those dimples coming out on his cheeks. "Well at least it's good practice," he said, "In case you get thrown out of a truck."

Cloud actually laughed a little, the colonel had remembered him from that trip on Ambush Day. Gavin grabbed onto Cloud's collar and the back of his belt and threw him. There was no way for cadets to land the thing on their feet, the throws were too shallow. The goal was to roll then regain their feet as soon as possible. They were scored on the time it took between when some part of their body hit the ground and when the cadet was upright. A visit to the materia healing table at the end of field counted against them. It was entirely up to an injured cadet if he wanted to get healed or not, but they had to take take ten tosses. Cloud rolled and was up almost immediately, now smiling a little. Cloud watched another cadet roll to his left, also righting himself quickly and smiling. But the smile faded to a determined line when he saw Cloud. Jens. Jens was his closest competition for that first place spot, and apparently a good roller. Cloud pursed his lips as well on his way back for another toss.

After the Toss they had lunch, and Cloud walked alone moodily to the mess. Jens had scored higher than him on the Toss and now they were tied. They had already done sword and navigation, Clouds top two subjects. He didn't see how he was going to win this thing and get his choice of where to relocate. Not if he couldn't get some sleep, his restless nights were taking their toll and he had been feeling run down.

"Cloud Strife, right?"

Cloud looked behind him as Gavin McIntyre caught up to him with long legged strides. The colonel frowned at him.

"Why the long face, your performance was stellar on the Toss."

"Not good enough, sir," Cloud said. "All my best subjects are finished. I won't be able to hold on to the top spot the rest of the week."

"Well there's no shame in second." Gavin had slung an arm around him and Cloud was conscious of its heat and weight. It felt... nice.

"I need that top spot. I want to be able to control where I'm assigned."

"And where do you want to go," Gavin asked, and amused light in his eyes.

"Anywhere but here," Cloud said.

"You don't like Midgar?"

Cloud shook his head.

"What do you think about Junon?"

Cloud looked up sharply. Thom had spent his Location Month in Junon and raved about it. Especially the Soldiers there, very friendly and easy going, like their commander.

"Junon sounds great. I haven't been there."

"Your Thom's friend, right?"

Cloud nodded.

"I'm going to request he be assigned with me there. I could request you as well. From what I've seen you'd be a fine addition to our unit."

"Really? You can do that?" Cloud's face brightened, and he saw Gavin's do the same. He wasn't insensitive to the nature of the colonel's attentions; the man seemed to be on the lookout for a friend but he didn't seem particularly focused, or the pushy type for that matter. And the idea of Junon was a good one. Thom would be there, and the command was so well run Sephiroth rarely visited.

"I've never been refused a request yet," Gavin said, "But don't tell Thom, nothing is settled until it's settled."

Cloud smiled at him. This might actually work, Gavin was one of the General's favorites, and he had to assign Cloud somewhere. By his recent behavior it didn't seem likely Sephiroth wanted him in Midgar. At the moment Cloud was worried he'd get assigned the Northern Crater.

"Thanks, thank-you, sir!" Cloud said, smiling. He saluted the colonel and trotted over to the cadet table.

ccccccccccccccccccc

"Just wait here for a bit. And don't let them see you."

"Let who see me? Zack!"

But Zack was already moving away from Cloud, and only turned the put his fingers to his lips in a silencing gesture. Cloud waited. The young Soldier had hijacked him right after his shower and now for some unknown reason he found himself crouching in some bushes. Shortly voices came towards him, two First Classes. Cloud froze, they passed by without seeing him, but they didn't go very far.

"Hey Zack!" Cloud recognized the voice belonging to Griegos. "You going to light the fire? We've got enough cadet gathered wood to keep us all night."

Cloud heard some noises, then there was a sizeable campfire lit.

"Nice to have wood gathering minions," said the other voice that sounded like Cho. "Hey, Malik, pull up a log."

More Soldiers arrived, until the area around the fire was full of them.

Only too late Cloud realized what Zack had done. He had hid him in the underbrush very close to a First Classes gathering. He couldn't leave now; if he so much as twitched they'd hear him and assume he was eavesdropping on them. Which he was, whether he wanted to or not.

He cursed Zack in his mind, not even daring to whisper his profanities under his breath. Neither did he dare look; someone would catch the glimmer of his shiners through the brush. So he kept them shut and listened. He listened to them discuss the days work. He could identify every First Class by voice by now, and was surprised to hear some of what he would consider the nicer ones having a good laugh over cadet pains. Even Zack off and on. Although he did have to admit that thing with Jeremy and the fire materia was pretty damn funny. He supposed anything could funny once you got passed it. He occasionally heard Sephiroth's low, smooth voice, and it gave him goose bumps to hear it in the dark with his eyes closed. But unlike the others his voice held no mirth or humor.

"C'mon, Seph, lighten up. This is our night, First Class bonding and all that," Gavin McIntyre's voice said, and Cloud heard the sloshing of liquid. Cloud realized they were drinking. Some of them probably started before they arrived, probably accounting for some the joviality and loosened tongues.

Sephiroth accepted the flask from Gavin and took a swallow of the fiery liquid. He hadn't brought a flask of his own; he was worried about having to handle alcohol and being around Cloud both. But he did need to lighten up. This was their night. The whole week was important to the First Class group, to spend time with each other and with their General. To take that fearful edge off, to keep them open with him. Familiar. Comfortable. Critical when they needed to be. But tonight was particularly invaluable. Tonight they were allowed to tease him, ask him anything, even play that damn game...

"I wanna play Stump the General!" said Marcus, a seasoned First Class veteran currently assigned to Wutai.

Zack grinned. It was only a matter of time before somebody suggested that.

"No." Sephiroth really was in no mood for this tonight. Actually he never was in the mood for this game.

"C'mon, General, it's a tradition. You promised we always could. Once a year." Marcus was not going to let this go.

Sephiroth sighed unhappily. He couldn't remember how this thing got started. His platoon had been doing it in the war as a means to entertain themselves. They would ask the oddball silver haired new guy basic social questions to which he tried to construct a logical answer. Apparently his answers were hilarious. Sephiroth had allowed the game to continue because it taught him many things, and had been told it worked both ways. His First Classes claimed they could learn more about him in five minutes of this activity than a year working with him. But it was always, always painful for him.

"Go ahead," he said.

"OK, I have one," Marcus said, "It's been worrying me for a while. Imagine you have a bunch of guys stranded for a few weeks, say from storm in the northern crater. And some of them, um, eat their fallen comrades to survive. What do you write in the letter to the families of the deceased?"

Sephiroth thought for a minute. He knew there was some trick here, or Marcus wouldn't have asked the question. It seemed obvious to him, letters to the family of the fallen were best if they were straight forward and he'd been writing them for years. But from the look on the faces around him there was something particularly "sensitive" about this situation.

"I tell the family what how honorable they were even after death that their bodies were used to save their comrades," Sephiroth said, using the "euphemistically sensitive" language he had learned over the years. Surely this would be close to the mark. But Marcus just stared at him.

"You'd tell them, parents and whatnot, that their son was eaten?"

"Of course."

There was a universal groaning around the circle. Sephiroth looked around him at the combination of cringing and laughing. Apparently his answer was not close.

"ShinRa will have your head!" Gavin howled. "You can't tell people that."

"Why not?"

There was more howling.

"You just can't," Marcus said, "If you guys ever have to eat my dead body, and please, feel free if you need to."

Several of the men made a mock retching noise

"But I beg you General, please, do not write my mother and tell her I've been eaten. Say something about how the remains were identified but not suitable for funeral."

Sephiroth scowled. "I'm supposed to lie? What's wrong with being eaten?"

More howling. Less grimacing this time.

"It's just not accepted. I can't explain it," Marcus said, "You write these letters all the time, how do you manage?"

"I have several stock letters I work from. Anything new I run past Zack."

"Thank-you, Zack."

Zack stood up and took a bow to some sporadic clapping.

"I got one," Griegos said. "You meet the girl of your dreams. Or boy, whichever your fancy is rolling lately, and you go to meet her mother. The mother comes out with this Gongagan cabbage dish-."

"Hey!" Zack interrupted.

"I hate cabbage" Sephiroth said.

"I know you do, but she serves this thing, and says 'this is my grandmother's recipe' or some such shit. What do you do?"

"I say I do not like cabbage," Sephiroth said, still thinking of his distaste for the stuff.

The group laughed, good naturedly this time. Sympathetic, Sephiroth decided. This was one they also could fall prey to.

"The guy who is not bothered thinking about eating a dead body would risk his relationship rather than choke down a little cabbage?"

"It's important?"

"Oh yeah," several answered.

Zack smiled. Now was a good time.

"OK, my turn," Zack said. "Let's say you've found this love of your life, a young man. Can you, some night, bring two women home to your bed?"

"Argh, I know this one," Sephiroth growled. "The answer is no."

"Oh, I don't know. Some guys are OK with that," Marcus said.

"Hah, see Zack, this one's not that easy!" Sephiroth said, jabbing a finger in Zack's direction.

Zack smiled and waited. Nathan, sitting on the ground so he could lean against Marcus' legs, gave Marcus a look that could peel paint.

"I mean, if you had an agreement or something. Not that we'd ever have an agreement like that, of course." Marcus leaned down and kissed the man on the ground in front of him. Sephiroth looked away out of envy. Those two had been together for years, since the war.

"No agreement," Zack said, "Just a total 'I love you' thing."

"Well then, no," Marcus said. Other Soldiers nodded, thinking this was probably the right answer, even if they didn't keep men themselves.

Wallace, thinking of his own young Trent back in a cadet tent, studied the General. He seemed peculiarly affected by this question. And the man had been unusually good humored for several months, until a couple of weeks ago when he had turned as mean as a chocobo in heat.

"You didn't do this, did you General?" Wallace asked.

Zack, who had taken up a position standing behind Sephiroth nudged him in the back with his knee. When this produced no response Zack leaned down to the General's ear.

"You should talk to them, Seph. These are the guys who love you."

Sephiroth shut his eyes. "I did." he said.

There were several cringing "ooohs" and one low whistle.

"And your young man, he caught you?" Wallace asked.

"He came in shortly afterwards. Not that it would have mattered; not understanding it was a transgression I would have told him. Or rather, had I known it was a transgression it would not have occurred in the first place." Sephiroth said bitterly.

"So I gather this didn't go over well," Wallace said.

"No."

"Is this why you've been busting our balls the last two weeks?" Niven said. "You've been insufferable, and I've been taking it out on cadets. Sorry sir, but I'd like to suggest that next time you keep it in your pants."

"It's not-." Sephiroth said sharply, then calmed himself as Zack gave him another jab in the back with his knee, "It's not a matter of control. I can do without for long periods and have done so. It was merely a habit. Rufus throws a party once a year, and when I leave he always says 'General, why don't you take a couple HoneyBees with you' and I do."

"And this didn't strike you as cheating?" Nathan said, leaning a little harder into Marcus who stroked his cheek.

"No. Because they were female and he was not. Because I did not love them as I did him. Because nothing about it felt the same to me."

"You love this young man, then?" Nathan asked

"I did, do, more than anything in the world."

"And you can't reconcile?"

"He is lost to me." Sephiroth hung his head so that his long silver fell to the earth in front of him.

"Seph I'm sorry," Gavin said. Apologies were murmured all around.

"Go to bed, all of you. Or reconvene at some other location; I don't want to hear anyone for the rest of tonight."

There was a smattering of moaning complaints, but the group dispersed, some chancing a touch to Sephiroth's shoulder before going. Eventually only he and Zack remained.

"Was it really necessary to put me through that?" Sephiroth asked.

"I think so, though as always I am sorry to see you suffer."

"I guess I should expect to suffer. It's what I was born into."

"I don't think you should be giving up on Cloud," Zack said, "He'll come around."

"No, Zack. I appreciate everything you've done for me. Everything you've tried to do for me. But he doesn't love me."

"Seph that's not true."

Sephiroth smiled, but it was a sad and bitter smile. "He told me so. Do you think Cloud is prone to telling lies?"

Zack paused, but there was no way around this one. Cloud was about the most straightforward and honest guy he knew.

"No," he said, shaking his head sadly. "I'm sorry."

"It's alright. Of all the things I do well, I think surviving pain is my forte. But this awful sadness at having lost the thing I treasure most, that's never going to heal up, is it?"

"Not properly," Zack said.

"That's what I thought. Good night, Zack."

"'night, Seph."

The General turned and walked away, erect and proud as ever, the bright sheen of his silver hair disappearing into the shadows like a ghost. Zack sank down onto one of the logs and put his face in his hands.

Cloud watched from his place in the brush, watched Zack's inert form and wondered if the Soldier was weeping. And suddenly he realized he himself was crying when the wetness of his tears touched his neck. Every hint of anger had left him; even the most painful scenes of his nighttime hell were free of hurt and resentment, replaced with only a sadness that blanketed him like a wet snow. Sadness for Sephiroth, for Zack, and for himself. Sadness for what he had lost. He believed now entirely what Zack had been trying to tell him, that Sephiroth's transgression was in a way accidental, spawned from lack of experience and connection with his own human kind. Cloud on the other hand had inflicted his wound willfully, knowing completely what damage it would cause. Because he had been afraid of further pain. Because he had been a coward.

Cloud stepped forward into the fire circle.

"Zack?"

Zack looked up, pressing his eyes before he did so, and Cloud was unable to tell that the shining violets had been filled with tears.

"Hey kid," Zack tried for brightness, but it came out false and brittle. "I'm sorry for dragging you out here; I guess I misunderstood. I really thought you still had feelings for him."

"I lied," Cloud said. "I lied when I told him I didn't love him."

"Oh, Cloud. Gaia, you shouldn't have done that."

"I know. Which tent is his?"

Zack frowned at Cloud. "I'm not sure I want to tell you if you're just going to go aggravate him."

Cloud shook his head. "I know there's no chance he would take me back. I know he doesn't forgive lies. I just want to tell him the truth, that's all, and then I'll leave. I think he deserves to know the truth."

"Shit yeah he does," Zack said. "It's the big one, on the end."

Cloud picked his way carefully past the rows of First Class tents. He knew they would hear him regardless, and hopefully they would assume it was more of their kind still turning in. He stopped at the entrance to Sephiroth's tent.

"Seph?" he asked quietly. Silence greeted him, although he was sure Sephiroth heard him. "Can I come in?"

More silence. As it spun out he considered that he might just have to leave, go back to his bunk.

"Come in, Cloud."

Cloud stepped gingerly though the heavy canvas flap. The tent was plenty tall for him to stand up in, and had not only a cot but a table and chairs, and two battery operated lanterns bathed the place in a delicate glow. He wondered if this was what Sephiroth's tent looked like during the war, making plans and holding council with his officers around that tiny table. It was certainly more extravagant than the last tent they had shared. Tent, lightweight pack, nylon, two-man. Two affectionate men. A fresh wave of sorrow assaulted him at the thought that they would never share that again.

Cloud forced his eyes to settle on Sephiroth's. They were as cold and blank as the last time he had seen him, when Cloud had spurned him to make him go away, and he had. For good. Remorse bubbled up from somewhere in the pit of his stomach and threatened to drown him.

"I'm so sorry," he managed to say, his voice thin and cracking. "I'm sorry. I lied to you. I always loved you. I love you still." He had to stop and blink back tears, swallow and clench the muscles in his face to keep from breaking down entirely. And he had to lower his eyes from those cold, green orbs.

"I just thought you should know." Cloud turned to leave.

"Cloud?"

Cloud stopped, standing still to listen. Whatever the General had to say to him he would just have to stay put and take it.

"Come here."

Cloud turned slowly, frightened, nauseous, and when he saw Sephiroth's hand stretched out, he was heartbreakingly hopeful. For a moment he couldn't move and his face twitched in confused directions. Sephiroth took a step forward and Cloud fell into his arms, finally sobbing big, wet tears that dropped into the General's hair. He was being held, comforted, his tears were being wiped away and small kisses lighted on his head. All the warmth and happiness he had been craving were right here in Sephiroth's arms. They had been here all along.

"I'm sorry, I don't know why I did it," Cloud said between sobs, "I was just hurting so much, but I still wanted you, wanted everything to go back to the way it was, wanted everything to be real when I was sure it wasn't. I needed you to go away, so I said it."

"It was all real, Cloud, every bit of it."

"I know that now. I'm sorry I hurt you." He looked up finally into Sephiroth's eyes.

"I didn't actually buy the never loved me part." Sephiroth said. "But it was clear you meant to be rid of me and that did hurt. Because it seemed I wasn't suitable, or deserving, to have something like this. Because it was my own actions that made you push me away." He paused to put both hands on Cloud's face. "I promise you, I will never, ever do that again. But Cloud, I'll do something else. Sure as shit, I'll do some thing that I don't even know-."

"I know," Cloud interrupted him. "I know, and I promise you I'll make it through the next one, whatever it is. That's really the last little bit of growing up that I needed to do; to know I have the strength to make you that promise."

Sephiroth sighed and pulled Cloud in so tight that for a moment Cloud thought he might bruise a rib. But it didn't matter. He couldn't remember ever feeling happier. He thought back to the First Classes and their Stump the General game. He laughed a little.

"Maybe I should make you a list. Stuff Sephiroth should not do," Cloud said.

"That would be extremely helpful."

Cloud looked up at Sephiroth. The man was serious. Well, he thought, maybe it wasn't such a bad idea. A very Zack-like solution in fact. And maybe a good mind-broadening exercise for him, to think of all the things Sephiroth might be confused about. He would have to put things on there like, who knows, 'no sex with animals'.

They smiled at one another and their lips met lightly, tentatively caressing as if they were bruised. But soon passion slipped into their kiss and their mouths opened and were pressed firmly together, and tongues became reacquainted as both moaned softly.

"Will you..." Cloud was surprised to have the words catch in his throat. As if he'd never done this before, never asked anything sexual of Sephiroth before. "Will you?" Was the best he could get out. "I want to feel that I'm yours."

Sephiroth smiled, gazing into Clouds blue eyes. His beautiful blue eyes, it had been so long since he'd seen them full of warmth, rather than cold or even greened up and angry.

"You'd be hard pressed to talk me out of it now." Sephiroth pulled Cloud towards his cot. "Not exactly a proper bed," he said.

Cloud laughed. "I could be happy my whole life with you in a two-man tent."

Sephiroth smiled, remembering that amazing night. He stroked Cloud's cheek. "And I'm sorry now that I didn't pack any lube."

Cloud got a thoughtful expression on his face, then pulled out of Sephiroth's arms. "Will you wait?"

Sephiroth nodded and Cloud ducked out of the tent. He wondered where the kid was going. If Cloud pulled some lube out of his gear he worried was going to become suddenly and dangerously angry. But Cloud returned not with a bottle but a ziploc bag. The bag had something mildly greenish in it.

"What is it?"

"Olive oil?" Cloud said, not questioning it's identity but rather whether it would be suitable or not.

"Did you just raid the mess?"

Cloud nodded.

"Bad cadet," Sephiroth said, but accepted the baggie and set it carefully so it would stand upright on the trunk by his cot. He wrapped his arms around Cloud and kissed him again, thinking the boy was a bit taller than he'd last held him. Well it had been six, no almost seven weeks. He pulled Cloud's shirt over his head and was greeted with another surprise. Cloud had filled out quite a bit. No longer were his muscles hinting under the skin, they stood out starkly, the indentations sharp between them.

"You've gotten bigger," Sephiroth said as he ran a hand over Cloud's bare shoulder and back around the triceps.

"I'm going to get bigger yet."

"I know. You're going to be Soldier; I need you well muscled." Sephiroth tore his eyes away from Cloud's torso to see him frowning. "What's this for?" he asked, a thumb caressing the downward slant of Cloud's lips.

"Do you... will you still find me attractive? When I'm older, heavier? A muscle bound Soldier?" It hadn't been lost on Cloud that Sephiroth had chosen a very young, smooth, and quite effeminate version of himself. And that he wouldn't look that way forever.

Sephiroth chuckled. "Cloud, I've always thought you were beautiful, but in truth I've been waiting for this." He stroked his palm down Cloud's side, feeling the hard obliques just under the skin until he found their edge where they joined hips. He undid the first two buttons on Cloud's fly so his pants dropped an inch, exposing the ridge farther, his fingers tracing up and down that diagonal indentation on each side that formed an arrow to his groin. Sephiroth's hands rose again, up this time over the latimus dorsai on the sides of Clouds' back, then hooked behind him again to pull him in for another kiss. Cloud slid his hands under Sephiroth's shirt, caressing those same muscle ridges, coaxing Sephiroth to let him pull his shirt off. When he reached for his lover's fly Sephiroth did the same and they pushed and tugged at each other's pants until they dropped to the tent floor. The stood there for a long moment, kissing with their feet wrapped in fabric and their heated bare skin pressed together. They moved their hips side to side, letting erect members rub against one another until Cloud groaned in a desperate and almost painful way. Then Sephiroth took a step towards the cot and almost toppled them both, forgetting his ankles were still tangled in his pants.

"Oops." Sephiroth shook himself free and was happy to see Cloud laugh. He was never, ever clumsy, or forgetful, unless Cloud was in his arms, a fact in which Cloud seemed to take particular glee. He scooped Cloud up and dropped him onto the cot.

"You know how I want you," Sephiroth whispered.

Cloud nodded and stretched, bending his knees up while Sephiroth moved over him. Sephiroth was still admiring Cloud's new body, this time his hands running up and down rounded quadriceps and hamstrings. He kissed the inside of Cloud's thighs, alternating between one and the other, working his way downward until his cheek brushed fine blonde pubic hair on Cloud's testicles.

Cloud moaned and lifted his head at this touch, Gaia, it had been so long since he'd been touched, and he wasn't going to be able to sit still through too much of it. He reached over onto Sephiroth's trunk and grabbed the baggie and handed to Sephiroth.

"Already?" Sephiroth asked. Cloud gulped and nodded.

Sephiroth wasn't about to decline, as much as he was enjoying savoring Cloud. He dribbled some of the oil onto himself and spread it up and down and around his shaft. It proved messy but gloriously slick, and he pressed the tip of his penis to Cloud's entrance. He felt Cloud pucker at first before he remembered to relax, then he slid himself gently in. Cloud clenched again around him.

"Did you forget how to do this?" Sephiroth asked. Cloud laughed a little and Sephiroth could feel the movements from the inside of the cadet's body.

"I think I'm just over excited," Cloud said.

"Hmmmm," Sephiroth covered Cloud's erection with the oil and with one hand gripping the edge of the cot took to stroking Cloud himself. He wanted to do part. He moved his head and dipped his shoulders until long silver strands fell in front of him unto Cloud's torso, knowing that Cloud loved this. Cloud put both his hands on Sephiroth's broad shoulders as he began to pant rapidly, and tilted his head up again so he might watch just as he released and caught his own fluid under the chin.

Sephiroth smiled and grabbed a handkerchief from the top of his trunk and wiped the spot clear. He gave one or two more gentle thrusts, watching Cloud enter his sleepy phase. He really should finish, but...

"What's wrong?" Cloud asked, a hint of worry in his voice. Sephiroth had never had... trouble coming with him before.

Sephiroth shook his head slowly. "I'm afraid that if I finish you'll disappear, like a dream."

"I'm not going anywhere, Seph, I promise. I promise." He caressed Sephiroth's face with both his hands. Imagine that, the only truly fearless creature on the planet was afraid of something. He was afraid of losing Cloud. "C'mon, it's OK."

Sephiroth leaned his face into one then the other of Cloud's palms, then increased his stroke in earnest until his release took over his body, purging two sob like exclamations from his throat. He rested and panted for a minute, enjoying Cloud's sleepy, smiling face below him.

"Are you tired?" Sephiroth asked.

"Yeah. I haven't been sleeping well."

"Me neither. Stay a little while. I'll wake you up and send you back to your bunk before roll call. I don't want to make a spectacle of you in your last few days as a cadet.

He separated from Cloud and rolled him over on top of himself so he could hold him while on his back. For the first time in three weeks both were asleep almost immediately.


	10. Soldier

**Disclaimer: **I do not own FFVII or anything in it.

**A/N: Bugger, sorry, I know I promised this before Nov 1, but I was a little slow and then I went into the boondocks where there was no internet. Also it's another 10K wordie, so no wonder it was slow. This is the last chapter.  
Thanks for reading, especially you nice reviewers.**

It was nearly dawn before Sephiroth woke. The sun hadn't risen, but there was faint pre-dawn light outside that Sephiroth could feel rather than see through the heavy canvas walls of his tent.

"Come on Cloud, time to go."

Cloud whimpered some sort of protest. Sephiroth bounced him a little, then sat him up.

"Out with you, back to your bunk. It'll be Reveille in twenty minutes or so.

Cloud managed to find his clothes and get them on with one eye barely cracked open, kissed the General, kissed him again, and ducked out the door.

ccccccccccccccccc

"You are so fucked," Thom hissed as Cloud crawled into his bunk next to him. "Pardon the _pun._"

"What?" Cloud asked.

"Malik already came in for some sort of early morning bed check. Anthony tried to tell him you were in the can, but since your bunk had obviously not been slept in he got cracked upside the head for his effort."

"Yeah, thanks Cloud," Anthony mumbled from his bunk, still trying to eke the last few minutes of sleep out of the morning.

"Sorry, guys," Cloud said.

"Yeah, well, I hope he was worth it. You might not graduate for this." Thom knew he should be worried for Cloud. He never had worried while Cloud was with Sephiroth, because surely any problems would be fixed, but now he was unlikely to be granted any favors from the General to excuse his sleeping around. Probably quite the opposite. But right now all he wanted for Cloud was pain.

"He's always worth it," Cloud said, annoyed with whatever stick Thom had up his ass.

Thom sat up. "You were with the General? I thought you gave him up."

"I was an idiot. Who'd you think I was with?"

Thom lay back down and looked at the ceiling of their tent. "Gav."

Cloud took a moment to puzzle through this. Gav. Gavin. Colonel McIntyre. Oh. Thom had spent his assignment month in Junon with Gavin's unit. Cloud had been so self absorbed in the last few weeks it was possible he had no idea what was going on with his two best friends.

"Thom?"

"I saw him sniffing around you earlier. I figured..."

"You like him?"

"I'm crazy about him. But he has no interest in me."

Cloud thought about this. It made no sense, really. Thom was funny, good looking, good natured. He'd always be thin, and his features were fine and sharp. Probably he and Gavin liked one another or Thom wouldn't have developed this attachment, and Gavin wouldn't have said he meant to request Thom to work with him. Thom seemed like a fine choice for the powerful First Class colonel who seemed clearly interested in finding a pretty young man for his side.

"Maybe he just doesn't know," Cloud suggested.

Thom gave him a doubtful look.

"I think Gavin needs an uke, a submissive, or he wouldn't show interest in me. Thom, you always act like a dominant, and straight to boot. If I didn't know you well I'd think the same."

Thom appeared to consider this.

"Just go talk to him. What's he going to be, offended? You're beautiful."

"I'm a _cadet_."

"Not for long."

Thom shook his head. "I can't."

"Oh, and you can stand feeling like this?"

Thom never got the chance to answer as Malik came in to roust the group out of bed.

"Strife, come out here. I presume you're still dressed."

Cloud followed the First Class outside where the older man glared at him with bright amber eyes.

"You were out of your bunk last night, cadet. Our rules for this camp were clearly stated, and Gaia help you, simple. I don't see how there's any way we can make a Soldier out of you if you're too stupid or too undisciplined to follow basic orders. I'm sending you back to Midgar today. You can go home, look for another position at ShinRa, or repeat your second year."

Cloud's ears rang and he ground his teeth as Malik flipped through the score sheets on his clipboard to find Cloud's. He was either going to have to re-do his second year or drag Sephiroth into this. Actually there probably was no way Seph would stay out of it. He wasn't sure which sounded worse to him at the moment.

"Hey, Mal!" Zack came trotting over and pulled the other First Class aside. Cloud had to remind himself not to hold his breath, so hard was he was hoping that Zack could fix this. He and Malik were the same rank, but everyone knew Zack held more favor with the General and that tended to count for quite a bit. But Malik was in charge of camp this week.

"You can't do this," Zack said, "He's top of the class."

"I can and I will. And I should, you know damn well the reason we run this camp so close to Blue Street and obvious temptations is to test their behavior."

"So hand him to me for disciplining."

"Fat chance, everyone knows you're partial to him."

"I promise you'll be happy with what I give him. I also promise I am saving your ass even if you don't know it."

Malik looked hard at Zack. The man was indicating he had stumbled on something politically dangerous with this kid. Maybe he was somebody else's favorite besides Zack's. He was pretty enough to be sure. Where had Cloud been all night? With one of the colonels maybe? Maybe McIntyre, he had seen them talking together yesterday. That was one guy he really didn't want to piss off.

"OK, he's yours. And please, whatever you do with him I don't want to see him for the rest of the day."

Malik strode off without looking back, and Zack turned to Cloud.

"Sorry kid. Grab your mess kit."

ccccccccccc

Cloud followed Zack, holding the small metal packet that held two curved plates sandwiching his half length utensils and a small drinking cup. They headed over to a direction that could only bode bad news. The porta-potties at the edge of their camp. Zack undid a latch to an enormous barrel and flipped open the lid, and immediately both scrunched up their faces at the foul odor.

"OK. What's in there," Zack pointed to the smaller containers housed under each of the five units, "Has to go in here." He pointed to the barrel, "And you're using that." He pointed to the mess kit in Cloud's hand. "And they're all full right now, so it should take all day. In fact please make sure that it does."

Cloud was looking rather dismayed at the scene. He was going to have to throw his mess kit away after this. And neither the plates nor the small handle-less cup was suitable for the job at hand. He supposed that's why Zack had chosen them.

"How do you come up with this stuff?" Cloud asked.

Zack smiled. "I had to do this myself during final camp. I had a tendency to sneak into town. Blue Street was like a siren's wail to me back then, I couldn't stay away. Just like you I was in danger of being thrown out, but my mentor Angeal didn't want to see that. So he came up with something suitably horrible to appease everyone else. And now I pass this punishment on to you. Maybe you'll inflict it on another cadet someday. The beauty of this one is that every single guy in camp will see you suffering at least once today."

Cloud made another woeful face.

"Alternatively we could have Seph step in."

"No." Cloud shook his head, "No, I don't want that."

"Me neither. So get scooping."

Zack sauntered away and Cloud turned to the first portable potty. He grabbed the thirty gallon bucket from under the platform and pulled hard to drag it towards himself. It was heavy, at least 150 lbs, and as he dragged it through the dirt some of the brown sludge sloshed out onto his pantleg and boot. He sighed. It was going to be a long day.

ccccccccccccccccccccccc

"Hey Gav!" Thom trotted up to the First Class Colonel outside of the mess tent during drill change. "Can I talk to you?"

"Sure, Thom, what's up?" Gavin McIntyre cocked his head to one side, causing that lock of hair to shift on his forehead. Dimples showed themselves at the merest hint of a smile, a face far too young for his thirty plus years. His face was also not consistent with his experience. Thom knew the man had been in Wutai with the General, and Thom always had trouble imagining that face amidst those horrors, directing carnage, cleaning up the aftermath, repeating. But he knew Gavin had more time battle time than almost any Soldier, and he knew that was one of the things that attracted him.

"It's, uh, kind of personal."

Gavin's bright eyes took on a cast of concern and he put an arm around Thom's shoulders to guide him towards the edge of camp, away from prying ears. Thom shivered inside at the touch, although he could tell from Gavin's posture that it was purely platonic.

"You know I'm friends with Cloud Strife, right?"

Gavin nodded.

"You're... interested in Cloud?" Thom asked.

Gavin's eyebrows shot up. "Maybe."

"Can I ask why?"

Gavin looked at the young man at his side, marveling that even Thom would be so brash as to ask such a question. But he meant to add Thom to his unit, hopefully as a close comrade given how well they meshed, and maybe it was helpful for Thom to understand him.

"I'm not entirely sure. He's certainly beautiful."

Thom died a little inside at that comment but hoped it didn't show on his face. But something must have showed because Gavin gave him a worried look.

"It's been a year since Kiho was killed," Gavin explained, "And I'm not only lonely but I need my second in command to be in my bed as well. Subordinate in both positions. It's just the way I operate. Otherwise I fall in love with my second and if I don't arrange for that to work beforehand the result is... awkward to say the least. Strife strikes me as someone who might work well under that arrangement. And his records suggest he's going to be strong Soldier. I'm just wondering if he might be for me."

"Gav, he belongs to the General."

Thom saw for the first time ever what looked like real fear on Gavin McIntyre's face.

"Holy shit!" he said, actually leaning away from the bearer of this news. "You mean is, or was?" Not that it mattered which it was. If Cloud was the lost love Sephiroth spoke of last night he wasn't going to touch him with a ten foot pole.

"Was, and now is again."

"Gaia, Thom, thanks. You probably saved me a disembowelment. I'd seen them together before, but they really didn't give any indication of being attached." Gavin shook his head at his near miss and rubbed his palm along the bottom of his square jaw.

"You're welcome," Thom said. A voice in his head whispered that he could leave, that now his approaching the colonel on such an intimate topic had been explained, he could just walk away. But it appeared Cloud had been right about what Gavin needed. And he was probably right about the other thing. Thom wouldn't be able to stand feeling like this.

"It's not the only thing I wanted to talk to you about, Gav." It took all of Thom's last resolve to spit it out, and now he found he could do no more. He knew Gavin was peering at him intently, but he couldn't raise his eyes while words that seemed just plain wrong caught in his throat and his face flushed. Breath that normally flowed evenly in and out of his lungs came in great gulps, threatening to sob on him. He never had this kind of trouble, around anyone, but trying to talk to Gavin about how he felt about him always caused him seize up in some way.

Gavin stared at this new manner Thom was displaying and put a hand to Thom's cheek. Thom leaned into it, his head following as Gavin moved his hand. _Pliant,_ Gavin thought, _he's pliant to my touch._ This wasn't a side of Thom he had seen before, and had pretty much convinced himself that the young man didn't have this inclination. And hard he had worked at it, too.

"Thom, I didn't tell you the last part of this. The reason I've been looking for someone these past few weeks is that I mean to request that you be assigned to Junon. I think you'll eventually be an excellent commander at my side. And I wanted to embroil myself in a romantic interest before you arrived, because frankly I've already fallen in love with you and I hadn't expected that to be requited."

Thom looked up sharply. Surely he had misheard.

"My question now is, are you for me? Would the arrangement I described be acceptable for you?"

"It's all I want," Thom said breathlessly. "I want to be yours."

Gavin smiled and pulled Thom into kiss him, enthralled to experience this entire hidden side of Thom. Thom, pliant, agreeable, letting Gavin take care of him a little, that was the Thom for his bed. The other, the aggressive, fearless, liked to order guys around Thom, that would be the commander he needed. He was perfect.

"Can I see you tonight?" Gavin asked.

Thom nodded.

"You know which tent is mine?"

"Third one from the end," Thom answered quickly, no longer caring if it showed he knew _exactly_ where Gavin was at every hour, even while he slept.

"Good. We don't have to do anything you're not comfortable with, I'm happy just to see you."

"I want to do everything," Thom said. "I want to try everything. I think I've done everything there is to do with you in my mind already."

Now Thom flushed a little. That maybe was a bit much to say on a first date. But Gavin only laughed and pulled him in for another kiss, this one more passionate than the first. He hooked an arm around Thom's waist to pull their hips into closer contact so thier mounted flesh could meet. He let his hands caress Thom's long, lean body, knowing that he too in his mind had done the thousands of delicious things to Thom that he now meant to enact physically. There was no rush; they would have a lot of time together. But if he didn't stop this rubbing he was going to take Thom right here between the trees.

"Get to your next drill," Gavin ordered, giving Thom a light push away from him.

Thom, grinning, took off at a trot, stopping once to pull at his fatigues to try and adjust himself.

cccccccccccccccccccccccccc

Cloud looked at his watch, rubbed the face clear of brown muck, and looked at it again. 10 am. Not even lunch time. He stood up and stretched his back; this was going to make him more sore than if he had gone to the drills. And today should have been kind of a fun day. It was a makup day; if a cadet failed an exercise, or missed it due to disciplining, or just wanted to try for a better score he could try again today. Cloud didn't need to repeat anything, especially now that he didn't need that top score. Cloud smiled at the reason why.

"I would not have thought this to be that enjoyable."

Cloud's smile broadened. He hadn't heard Sephiroth come up.

"I was thinking about you," Cloud said.

Sephiroth smiled and shook his head, amazed at the ease at which Cloud spouted such affectionate statements. He had been missing that. Cloud was covered head to foot in smears of brown, a large swatch graced his forehead where he had forgotten himself and wiped sweat away with a soiled arm. Even his blonde hair was tainted with it. He smelled terrible.

"I'm sorry for this Cloud. Do you want me to excuse you?"

Cloud shook his head. "I'll finish. Another hour, maybe two. Then I'm going shower for the whole four minutes."

Sephiroth frowned. Four minutes was the cadet limit, and they only had cold water. He knew how much Cloud wanted to do everything under his own steam but he had his own limits. And that smell was exceeding them.

"I think I want you cleaner than that," Sephiroth said. "The officer's shower has a solar panel on the tank so the water is at least warm. I want you using that one. If anyone gives you flak tell them I OK'ed it. Will you do that?"

Cloud nodded. Repulsing his lover with his person was not actually on his list of goals at the moment.

"Everyone will be finishing early today, two or three o'clock," Sephiroth said, "Most cadets nap, and then there's the crab boil tonight."

Cloud's face brightened. The crab boil! A night off for everyone, boiling freshly delivered crabs outside over a fire in an enormous pot. Every cadet had been looking forward to this all week.

"I normally don't go; the atmosphere is more relaxed without me. I guess I make cadets nervous."

"I want to be with you instead," Cloud said.

"No, please go, Cloud, at least for a little while. You can see me afterwards. And they serve Junon brandy, watch out for that stuff. It's not like normal brandy; it can knock you on your ass in a heartbeat."

Cloud frowned, a little annoyed to be told to be careful about his drinking. It's not like he was some kid who never drank before. He knew he didn't have much of a tolerance, but he also knew what his limits were. He pushed his annoyance aside. He really didn't want to be starting an argument with Sephiroth right now.

"OK," he said, then smiled at Sephiroth's fond gaze. He was just looking out for him, after all. He knew how much Sephiroth enjoyed that and Cloud rarely indulged him. Maybe he should allow it more often.

Ccccccccccccccccccc

After an actual warm shower and a nap Cloud was feeling fabulous. Euphoric, really, compared to the last few weeks. He had forgotten how it felt to be happy. And his mood was shared by the crowd gathered around the fire and steaming crab pot. Every cadet and Soldier laughed and smiled, and as he approached Thom shoved a large, red, plastic cup into his hand.

"Look who it is, latrine boy!" Thom was positively giddy, quite a contrast to this morning.

There was a round of applause for 'latrine boy' and Cloud took a good natured bow. He had been putting up with their various jokes and jabs all day, queries as to how he liked the smell, was this his new career, comments about how lucky he was due to the quality of stool they were about to deposit… but at the moment he could care less. Cadets and Soldiers both clapped him on the shoulder, saying they were impressed he survived it. Oddly is seemed Zack was right about the punishment fostering good will and sympathy.

He sipped at his drink; it was sweet. He had assumed this would be the brandy, but he didn't taste any alcohol at all, and looked at Thom questioningly.

"I mixed ours with soda," Thom said, "Junon brandy isn't something you shouldn't be taking straight. My first time I was sick as a dog."

Cloud nodded, thinking that was a perfect solution. Mix the stuff. He found his way over to the food table and managed to snag one of the first crabs out. Soldiers laughed as cadets unfamiliar with the delicacies fumbled in attacking the crustaceans with their Leathermans. They leaned over their plates and showed them the secrets of crab cracking, told field stories to rapt listeners, and answered questions cadets had always been too afraid to ask.

After an hour or so Cloud discovered that Thom was nowhere to be found. Cloud thought maybe he was at the latrine.

"Heh, at least the latrines are emptied," he said to himself, chuckled, and wandered over to the drink table. He had been relying on Thom for his drinks, and looking at the table by himself he found the arrangement oddly confusing. He frowned at the table, working his brain hard to unlock its mysteries.

"I got it Strife."

Cloud looked up and took a moment to identify the speaker.

"Oh. Jens. How are ya?" he said.

Jens grinned at him and poured an amber liquid into Cloud's cup. Cloud accepted it and took a gulp.

"Well," Jens said, "I repeated three tests today, but I wasn't having such a hot day. I failed to improve any of my scores. So we," he topped off Cloud's cup again, "are still tied my friend."

"Well that's nice," Cloud said, taking another large swallow. This stuff was really good. "We're, um…" What was he saying? He pursed his lips in concentration. "The last, uh, four events. They're not my best. They're not tomorrow, right? Friday?" Why couldn't he remember this?

"Right, none tomorrow. Because we'll all be hungover."

Cloud nodded, but nothing was really registering. "Oh, I'm out," he said, looking at the bottom of his cup. "Fill me up."

Jens did so, grinning smugly as Cloud Strife staggered away from him.

Ccccccccccccccccccc

Hours later Cloud stood in the woods somewhere near the First Class tents. He knew he was supposed to meet Sephiroth, and now it was dark. He wasn't sure when it had gotten dark. He had no idea what time it was. And he was having trouble seeing trees well enough to not run into them.

"Gaia, I'm drunk," he said to the woods. What was Sephiroth going to say? How had all these hours passed? How much had he drunk anyways?

He stepped forward, stopped, righted an imbalance that kept arising and sending him to his right, and repeated. He thought about maybe just laying down and taking a little nap.

Sephiroth heard the uneven gate outside of his tent and listened for a bit. That one was way over the top to be sure. Cadet, certainly, his First Classes were better disciplined than that plus they all knew what was going on tomorrow and would be exercising caution. He put down the paper he was reading and went outside to route this one back to the group. Then maybe he would retrieve Cloud. He hadn't expected him to stay so long at a party that he originally said he would skip, but he didn't want to interfere if the boy was having a good time.

"Seph!" Cloud said, when he saw the General emerge from his tent, and immediately fell on him. Sephiroth had to right Cloud bodily since the cadet seemed to have forgotten how to stand up.

"I'm vreelly drung," Cloud said, holding onto Sephiroth and slurring his words into the bigger man's chest.

Sephiroth, one arm under Cloud's armpits holding him up, took his other hand and lifted Cloud's chin. The cadet was completely unfocused, and looked as drunk as he'd ever seen any of his men.

"I'm surry," Cloud said, "I nuvr felt anethin." Then he started weeping.

Sephiroth rolled his eyes. Great. He was a weepy drunk no less. "It's OK, Cloud," he said, stroking the blond hair and bringing him towards his tent.

"Really?" Cloud said, "Becuss I'm gunna throw up."

Sephiroth grabbed him tighter and managed to drag Cloud 30 feet away from his tent into the forest before he started spewing. Sephiroth wrinkled his nose as he held on to Cloud's torso through the spasms. It seemed bad smells were the theme for Cloud today.

Cccccccccccccc

Zack whistled as he made the trek from the latrines back to the party. It was certainly shaping up to be a grand time. Who knew this group of cadets was so funny drunk? And tomorrow was going to pretty good too. He rather liked upchuck day, being on the other side of it, that was.

And already it was starting; he heard the sound of retching off in the woods. He looked over to the side and saw something unexpected. Surely that was the General's hair shining in the dark, hunched over. He made his way over and the situation became clear.

"Wow, Cloud. You really downed a lot of crab. Too bad you're not keeping it."

"Not now, Zachary," Sephiroth snarled, struggling to hold Cloud up and also keep his long hair out of the spray.

Zack reached over and gathered up Sephiroth's hair and held it behind his back as Cloud emptied more of his stomach. It struck him as an odd variation on an old theme; instead of holding the hair for the puker he was doing so for middleman. But it would last long. Cloud's stomach had to be empty pretty soon; they guy just wasn't that big.

And Zack was right, Cloud started dry heaving, moaning in between. Zack came around the front and with a handkerchief from his pocket wiped Cloud's mouth as Sephiroth managed to get him more or less upright. Cloud let all his weight fall into the General, thinking vaguely in his half conscious mind that this was one of those times he really wanted Sephiroth to take care of him.

"I'm going to keep him in my tent." Sephiroth said. "Will you get us some extra water? And a bucket?"

"Sure, thing. But you know he's gotta do the thing tomorrow."

"Zack, no."

Zack looked silently at his commander. Finally Sephiroth shut his eyes and sighed.

"You're going to have to come take him away from me. I won't be able to bring him out there."

Zack nodded and trotted off to find water and bucket.

ccccccccccccccccccc

Reveille sounded extra early the next morning. Cloud woke in a haze and immediately wished he hadn't. At least in sleep there was no pain. He was vaguely aware of Sephiroth making him drink water all night, Sephiroth holding him as he repeatedly threw it up into a bucket, Sephiroth putting a cold cloth to his face and talking softly to him. He was able to keep some water down now, but it still made him nauseous every time he swallowed. And his head felt like it might explode. He wished it would and get it over with.

"Seph?" Zack's voice came from the outside before the young Soldier stepped in. His eyebrows rose at the large, thick batting on the tent floor. Some sort of futon mattress maybe. So that's what Sephiroth had delivered from base yesterday. It looked comfy; too bad he didn't get to enjoy it the way he had probably anticipated.

"It's time," Zack said. Cloud gave a little whimper and Sephiroth closed his arms around him more tightly.

"C'mon, the rest of his class is out there, he'll have plenty of company. This is all part of the cadet experience, and if he doesn't go his classmates will remember for the rest of their lives."

Sephiroth slowly rolled Cloud out of the bed and stood him up. He said something soft into Cloud's ear, Cloud nodded and Sephiroth kissed his temple several times and held him close for a moment. Then he released him into Zack's arms.

"Make sure he gets plenty of water. And keep an eye on him."

"Yes, sir. You know I will."

Sephiroth lay back down and put his pillow over his head. He didn't want to hear this.

Cccccccccccccccccccccccccccc

"OK, cadets, we're starting our day with a twelve mile run."

There was a general disgruntled moan and some squeaks of disbelief.

"I thought we had the day off," said one cadet, emboldened by pain.

"Now whatever gave you that idea?" Malik asked, a smile on his face. "Because there's nothing on the schedule? You think Avalanche or Wutai terrorists or Bahamuts schedule attacks? Move your sorry asses!"

The whole group moved off at a pitifully slow pace, the First Classes trotting easily along the outside, scooping up cadets who fell to the wayside and shoving them back in formation. Any cadet who forgot to pack water or ran out had to grovel with a humiliating little rhyme to get some from a First Class, who carried extra exactly for this purpose.

At mile four they took a break. Zack squatted down to where Cloud was and refilled his canteen for him. He dug in his pocket and found an electrolyte tablet and dropped it in for good measure. Cloud was one of the worst off, but luckily his buddy Thom was in good shape and kind of dragging him along. He'd be all right. Zack left, figuring he could afford to spend some attention on some of the others.

"Thanks, Thom," Cloud said, carefully sucking down water as fast as his stomach would allow. This was the worst physical hell he'd ever experienced. He was half hoping that it was cyanide that Zack slipped into his water, but he supposed it wasn't. Probably something to help him. He poured half of it into Anthony's empty canteen so he wouldn't have to go begging.

"Hey, no problem," Thom said, "Remember all those post-injection days, you two did the same for me. Hey, you look kind of like how I felt."

Cloud smiled weakly, grateful one of them had the sense to stay sober last night. And at least Anthony wasn't as nearly as bad off as he was; Thom only had to drag him occasionally.

"Hey, if I'd have known you were an idiot I'd have hung around and kept an eye on you," Thom said

Cloud looked at him, trying to remember. Thom had disappeared pretty early, during part of the party that Cloud sort of remembered.

"Where'd you go?" he asked.

But Thom only smiled and the officers rousted them up again for another four miles.

Ccccccccccccccccc

It took them over two hours to run those twelve miles. After which they were allowed food if they could handle it, and then they were re-timed on the obstacle course, ran through focus target drills and scored for power and accuracy, and then had to fight the First Classes. Before dinner the abysmal scores were read out loud and compared to the cadet's normal test performance.

"I think this was some sort of exercise to convince us we should not drink," Anthony said at dinner.

"I think it worked," Cloud grumbled.

Oddly enough the brandy was set out again and a few of the cadets went for it. Anthony shook his head. "Crazy bastards." But he was eyeing the big, red, plastic cups. So much bigger than their little messkit cups. He snagged two and gave one to Cloud so they could fill off the water barrel. Cloud was surprised at how good he was feeling. Well, relatively. He was brutally tired and shaking a little, but he was hungry, and his headache had broken. He smiled, laughed, and joked with his friends, enjoying the realization that he wasn't going to die after all and the amazingly good company he had found himself in.

The first classes were milling around the edges of the mess, watching the cadets. Malik was taking notes. For the moment most of the cadets were too tired to give a damn what they were up to this time.

"Takers?" Sephiroth asked, coming up behind Zack.

"Four," he answered, "Two who drank very little last night and are nipping again tonight; their performance was fine today. The other two were wrecked today, but they're at it again."

Sephiroth nodded, Malik would add the last two to a watch list for alcoholism. Alcoholism was a fight they'd been struggling with since the inception of Soldier during the war.

"Oh, and, eww, looks like two more," Zack cringed and motioned his head over to Cloud. Both Cloud and Anthony had the large, red, plastic cups in their hands.

Sephiroth growled and strode over to Cloud's table before Zack could say anything. With thumb and middle finger he grabbed the rim of Cloud's cup and removed it from his hand and held it aloft. Cloud, catching the terrified look on Anthony's face, turned around, but resumed smiling as soon as he saw the General.

"It's water, sir," Cloud said.

Sephiroth gave it a sniff and Cloud could see the relief melt his face. The expression was apparently too subtle for Anthony to read and the other cadet remained stiff and nervous. Then Sephiroth actually _sat down_ at their table, and fixed his gaze on Anthony.

"Oh, I uh, should get seconds. Or something." Anthony hurriedly got up and walked away, intercepting Thom as he did so and preventing him from taking his normal seat at their table.

"How are you feeling?" Sephiroth asked.

"Good, I guess, considering," Cloud said. "Thanks for taking care of me last night. And for not chewing me out."

"Well I was shown some kindness the first time I did the same. Although I could have done without the pride and dreams lecture afterwards." Sephiroth frowned. "I wasn't really having an attitude problem; it was more from lack of experience. I think I'll skip the lecture with you."

"Thanks. I'm OK; I just didn't know you could not taste it or feel it until it was too late."

"Junon Brandy is notorious that way. We choose it for that reason. It's unfair, I know, but better to learn it now than in the field where the enemy might be bearing down at you at any moment."

"Well, I'm still sorry I didn't listen to you," Cloud said, "And I'm sorry I missed out last night."

Sephiroth concealed a broadening smile by putting a hand to his face and rubbing his jaws. "Well there's always tonight," he said, green eyes glinting. "I promise to send you back to your bunk early. We have a meeting until about nine, but after that I'm free."

Cloud lowered his smiling face towards his food. Maybe he could grab a nap before then.

cccccccccccccccccccc

"He's a freak, plain and simple."

Cloud's ears pricked and he swerved off the roundabout path he had chosen to bring him to Sephiroth's tent from the far side. He crept close to a group of maybe eight cadets waiting on the showers.

"That's why the General's got his own section in the lab," the same voice said, that Cloud now recognized as Jens, "He's some sort of planet monster that ShinRa domesticated. I heard the found him up in the Northern Crater. Hell, he might not even be human."

Cloud stepped into their midst and stood in front of Jens, who had apparently attracted quite an audience.

"You're going to want to retract that statement, and quit your gossiping about the General," Cloud said, face red and heart pounding.

"Yeah? Well what's it to you blondie?" Jens cut his eyes.

"_Nobody_ talks about the General."

"Well you aint my commander, Strife, and you certainly aint no first Class, and I don't see any of your First Class _friends_ hanging around to help you out, so I think I'll just go on saying whatever I please."

Cloud connected his elbow with Jens's face with more speed than he knew he had. He barely registered the bright spray of blood before Jens was spinning back to him to sink a fist into Cloud's stomach. Cloud tensed his abdominals and moved with it, annoyed to have been caught as flat footed as he was but grateful Jens had missed the floating ribs. He wrapped his elbow around the offending arm and clotheslined Jens across the throat with a ridgehand, then hit him again in the face on his way down, breaking his nose. Then quite suddenly his feet were no longer firm on the ground and both arms were painfully immobilized behind him. He struggled, but felt like he was entangled in an iron trap. He swiveled his head around to see what had him. Oh. Malik. Quite suddenly in a few seconds five First Classes had materialized from who knew where. One was picking Jens up off the ground. Jens was having trouble breathing and spitting blood. Cloud knew that throat strike he threw was uncalled for, but he couldn't feel bad for the guy. His blood boiled, the mild green haze over the world let him know his eyes were greened up, and he was still angry. The guy had talked about the General.

"Out of here, all of you!" Malik growled. One of the other First Classes took Jens off to medical.

"What the hell is wrong with you, Strife?" Malik gave Cloud a shake that flopped him about like a ragdoll.

Zack came up and gripped Cloud's jaw in a firm hand. "Calm down, Cloud, I want that green out of your eyes."

Cloud forced himself to take several deep breaths through his nose and concentrated on Zack's calm, confident face. Eventually his own face relaxed and the green subsided. Only then did he realize what he'd done. He had fought during camp. Another dismissible offense. _And_ he had thrown the first blow. _And_ he had his opponent down and looked like he was going to finish him.

"He's OK, you can let go," Zack said to Malik.

Malik rolled his eyes at Zack but released the kid to Zack's obviously concerned attentions. Zack had been true to his word with the latrine punishment, but there wouldn't be any way out of this one. Three other First Classes had seen the fight along with at least half a dozen cadets. Not unless Zack was going to call in his General shaped trump card.

"What's going on here?"

Malik blew out his breath at the low, resonant voice behind him. Sephiroth was apparently one devil you needed only think of to have appear.

"Unruly cadet, sir," Zack answered before Malik could. "He was fighting."

Malik looked between Sephiroth and Zack, puzzled. What could Zack hope to achieve by maligning his favorite?

"Where's the other?" Sephiroth asked.

"Medical."

Now if Malik wasn't mistaken the General looked a little pleased. Well, the guy did appreciate a good fighter.

Sephiroth looked at Cloud, whose eyes were down, face worried, his breathing still rapid. He knew Cloud hated the idea of taking favors, but he was going to have to do something this time. So much for not wanting to make a spectacle out of Cloud during camp; the boy seemed to be doing a fine job of it all by himself.

"What were you fighting over, Cloud?" Sephiroth asked.

Cloud looked up at him. He knew he was going to have to accept some help. Maybe he should let Sephiroth know he was alright with it.

"You, Seph."

Cloud could feel the surprise of three of the First Classes at his use of the General's name. And actually it felt pretty good.

"Come here, Cloud," Sephiroth gave a small motion of his hand.

Cloud stepped forward and allowed himself to be enfolded in the General's arms. Sephiroth put his chin on top of Cloud's head and looked out at his men.

"Gentlemen, I'm afraid I need a little indulgence from you. Most of this one's problems this week have been due to me."

His First Classes smiled genially at him, all except Malik who looked a bit like someone had just struck him. To think he had been riding this cadet's ass all week. A cadet who was favored by the General.

"Is this... him?" Malik asked. The two looked too comfortable to be brand new, and the General's mood _had_ taken a one-eighty yesterday.

Sephiroth nodded, now smiling a little himself.

Malik considered. It was still a sticky problem. Their whole organization was held together with blood, sweat, and rules.

"We have to do something with him. He just beat the tar out another cadet. In fact the very one he's in competition with for top honors. He'll never be forgiven if he skates."

Sephiroth looked down at Cloud and stroked his blond head, his brows knit anxiously. But Zack had gotten a thoughtful look on his face.

"It takes two to fight. And there is a traditional punishment for fighters. Hasn't been used in awhile..."

"Not since you were a cadet, Zachary. It's cruel, though." Sephiroth looked down at Cloud, questioning.

"What, worse than cleaning latrines with my mess kit, or getting us drunk and then making us run at five am the next morning?"

The group laughed, confirming Cloud's usual opinion that they were sadistic bastards. Sephiroth squeezed him.

"Well then, for the third time this week, you are in Zack's hands. Good luck, cadet." Sephiroth left him with a tender caress to his cheek.

ccccccccccccccccccccccc

"Feeling alright, Jens? I hope so, because you're going to need to start this one feeling fresh." Zack looked the cadet over. His shirt was still bloody, but his injuries had been healed up.

Jens nodded, eyeing Zack suspiciously. Zack had on his sternest demeanor, which was considerable. Cloud often forgot he could be as terrifying as any other First Class when he had a mind to be, worse maybe. At the moment Zack was even greened up a little and Cloud wondered how he did that. Maybe he was actually angry. Normally Cloud wasn't mindful that Zack could snap both of their necks before they could even make a move to defend, and it was widely believed he could get away literally murder (of cadets at least) given the General was so highly forgiving of him. Cloud stood up a little straighter.

"Boots off, socks too." Zack said.

Both cadets removed their boots, puzzled. Cloud tucked his socks into his boots and stood in the dirt, small rocks poking the bottoms of his feet. His feet used to be tougher, but since he had joined the Soldier program they did everything, _everything_ in their boots and the calluses from his barefoot childhood were long gone.

"Each of you is going to stand up on one of these," Zack kicked one of two crates with his toe.

The crates had open tops and held empty glass soda bottles, their tops upward. Cloud looked at his crate, thinking it wasn't going to make an easy surface to stand on. He'd have a hard time getting more than maybe three bottles under a foot at once. He stepped carefully up and shifted himself around until he more or less could stand.

"Here's the deal," Zack said. "You stand here all night. If you both make it until morning everything's good. But if not, the first one down is sent back. Repeat your second year or be out of Soldier."

Both looked at Zack with mouth open. Cloud frowned in confusion. Sephiroth wasn't going to let him be held back, was he? Maybe he would. At least it would be an easy second year. Or maybe Sephiroth was sure he'd make it until morning, it really wasn't so tough just to stand up through the night.

Zack left them, stupidly standing alone on their crates, both refusing to look at one another. Other cadets passed by with quizzical looks, but understanding this was some sort of bizarre punishment none of them spoke.

The first five minutes didn't hurt at all. During the next five minutes the bottom of Cloud's feet started to get uncomfortable and he shifted the locations of the small rings of the glass tops around on his feet. After thirty minutes it didn't seem to matter where he moved his feet around, the smooth glass rings seemed to dig and burn. After an hour he wondered if he was going to make it through the night. He looked over at Jens and saw the same worry on the other boy's face. Jens moved a foot, looking to relieve the pressure and hissed. He snarled at Cloud and looked away. Cloud did the same.

After another half an hour Jens let out a groan. "I don't think I can do this," he said in a ragged voice. A flash of glee ran through Cloud at the idea of being able to get off his crate and not having to repeat year two if Jens got down first. Jens would have to repeat his second year. Cloud frowned.

"No, you can do it," Cloud said. "Just talk about something. Take your mind off of it."

"Right," Jens said.

"Seriously, we hate each other, we can argue."

"I don't hate you, Strife. Well maybe a little."

"That's the spirit," Cloud said, and Jens laughed a little.

"It won't matter for me anyhow," Jens said. "Tomorrow is target testing and I shoot like shit if I don't sleep. Even if you shoot like shit too, which you normally do, I still won't get that top spot. You know Amon is right behind us, and he's a crack shot. I figured it out; I'd have to hit a personal best just to stay ahead of him if he shoots his average."

Jens hung his head and Cloud could tell he was thinking about his feet again.

"Why do want that top spot badly?"

"Don't you?"

"What, you also have a fight with your lover and need to feel like you have to be sure to get the hell out of Midgar?"

Jens looked up sharply, unbelieving what he just heard. Cloud pursed his lips, unbelieving what he just said.

"No. I um..." Jens shook his head, still trying to clear it of Cloud's last statement.

"My father is dying."

Cloud was silent for a moment, trying to figure out how this affected things.

"I need to get assigned to Wutai," Jens continued. "I'm Wutain, you know."

Cloud didn't know. Jens Akita, he guessed part of his name sounded Wutain. He didn't look it.

"I'm afraid he won't live another year, this is my last chance to spend time with him. I need to get assigned to Wutai. No first year Third Class with Wutain heritage gets assigned to Wutai. Some sort of unwritten security rule. But if I win the Choice I might be able to go. If I can't get assigned to Wutai, I'll leave Soldier."

Cloud didn't know what to say. Suddenly his own burning need to win the Choice seemed petty and self centered. "I'm sorry, Jens. I didn't know."

"Well, yeah. I haven't told anybody." Jens looked down again, shaking his head slowly.

Cloud watched him, knowing he was thinking of stepping down. He really was doing a poor job at encouraging him. If only he were Zack, he could yack away and distract him, somehow motivate him to hang in there. Zack was so good at that type of thing.

Then, without further warning, Jens took a step down. Cloud jumped down just as Jens hit the ground, his feet screaming at the injustice of a ten inch drop to the dirt. Jens looked over at Cloud.

"What'd you do that for?"

Cloud just stared back at the other cadet, and before he could even open his mouth Zack appeared from nowhere. The Soldier must have been lurking around in the dark, just waiting.

"Ah, I see we're done," Zack said. "Who stepped down first?"

"We came down together," Cloud said.

Zack grinned. "That, cadet, is the right answer. Go to bed, both of you." Zack disappeared back into the darkness.

"What does that mean?" Jens said.

Cloud smiled. "It was a test. We passed. Get some sleep; you have to do some sharp shooting tomorrow."

Jens stared at Cloud's retreating form, confused as to why his rival should leave him with such an encouraging remark. But he thought maybe he understood when he realized Cloud had not turned toward the cadet's tents, but rather towards the grouping of First Classes. Maybe Cloud didn't need that top spot anymore.

cccccccc

Sephiroth stepped out of his tent just as Cloud approached, shirtless and pants still on. Cloud wondered if he slept with pants on all the time when he wasn't around. Sephiroth ushered him into his tent.

"I just heard Zack come in," he said, waving towards the tent next to his. He kissed Cloud lightly. "You passed?"

"Yeah, I guess so. But Gaia I'm tired."

Cloud lifted his arms to let his shirt come off, and his pants were undone and dropped to the floor.

"That's fine," Sephiroth said. "I'm happy to just hold you. And kiss you some." He stroked Cloud's torso, pleased to see him looking healthy and not puking on anything.

Cloud kissed him back and then laid his head onto Sephiroth's chest.

"Say Seph?"

"Hmm."

"My level has actually flagged quite a bit in the last seven weeks without you."

"I know," Sephiroth said. He had checked up on Cloud on every way possible even while the boy wasn't speaking to him.

"I know I'm probably too tired to, um, join you, and I don't want to seem unromantic, but would you mind? Otherwise I have a lab appointment Monday when I get back."

Sephiroth chuckled. "As if I'd mind. And I'll cancel that lab appointment for you."

Cloud smiled and helped Sephiroth out of his pants, and the two dropped down to the mattress on the floor, and Cloud's eyes were nearly shut the next time they kissed. Sephiroth rotated him around in front of him and grabbed the lube he had nicked into the city to pick up. There were apparently some advantages to camping just outside of town from Blue Street.

"Just relax, cadet," Sephiroth said, and Cloud laughed a little thinking of their first meeting.

Sephiroth slid inside Cloud, and reached around with one slick hand to find Cloud's half-hard member.

"Mmmm, feels good. I won't be able to, though," Cloud said.

"It's OK," Sephiroth said, and continued his motion until he quietly came, still holding Cloud. Cloud rotated his head for one more kiss, and drifted off to sleep. Sephiroth moved him around so Cloud lay on his stomach on top of him, and then he too fell into sleep, smiling in the dark.

cccccccccc

Sephiroth woke before dawn. He normally did, but he was particularly conscious this morning with Cloud lying next to him. He wanted to see him. He flicked on the soft battery lantern on top of his trunk. Cloud had rotated around so they were again front to back and Sephiroth caressed his skin, up and down arms, neck and face, until Cloud started to stir. He ran his hands down and felt a healthy stiffness in the boy's organ.

"What is this?" he asked, getting a little groaning from Cloud.

"A little morning wood, I think," Sephiroth gave him squeeze, and Cloud wriggled in front of him, smiling and sleepy.

They moved around under the smooth sheets until Sephiroth had Cloud under him. Sephiroth kissed him and alternatively pressed his body down and relinquished until Cloud was fully awake and reaching up for him.

"I think I can do this now," Cloud said.

Sephiroth smiled and grabbed the small lube bottle from where it still lay on the side of the mattress. Cloud took it out of his hand, grinning slyly.

"Let me," he said. He poured a small, cool pool into his hand and put his whole palm around Sephiroth's shaft. He clenched his fingers and felt the tip squeeze out the back of his hand, then pushed his hand back down again. He looked down and could just see in the dim light the rounded head with its pinkish slot sliding in and out of his hand. Sephiroth sighed, letting his head fall towards Cloud, surrounding him in soft locks of hair that fell onto Cloud's face. Cloud lifted his knees and slipped his feet over Sephiroth's shoulders, catching some of that hair between toes. Sephiroth lifted up and Cloud poured a more of the viscous fluid between his own legs, mostly missing his target and having to pour again. He squinted with concentration and moved his fingers to smear the fluid between his spread cheeks. He wished suddenly that he could see himself in this position, with Sephiroth over him. Maybe he could convince Seph to put some mirrors in his bedroom. He lifted his hips to Sephiroth might enter, and the older man put his arm under Cloud to hold him up in position. He poured another large dolop in his hand and grabbed his own member, spilling most of it on his stomach.

"Pretty slap happy with that lube," Sephiroth said, "As if I don't already buy it in bulk."

"Do you mind?" Cloud asked playfully.

He didn't really need the answer. Sephiroth laughed a little, but he was soon moaning and thrusting, and Cloud joined him by stroking himself. Sephiroth came up on his knees, the firm surface of the mattress providing such a good hard surface that he pulled Cloud up with him until Cloud was partially inverted, and Cloud spilled out just as the blood also rushed to his head. Cloud pushed his elbows into the firm mattress until they formed a stand underneath him, and he watched mesmerized at Sephiroth's strong arms and shoulders pulling him back and forth, his green eyes glowing slightly in the dark as he growled in the back of his throat with desire. He pulled them together sharply, forcefully. Breathing hard he looked at Cloud with a question in his eyes, and Cloud nodded that it was OK. He had been wondering if Sephiroth wanted to put some more force into this act. Once before, early on, he'd asked the man had been told 'not yet'. But Cloud was stronger now, his level was that of a Third Class Soldier, and he was happy to take a little more. His lips parted, reaching, wishing he could to kiss Sephiroth as he came but due to mechanics had to be satisfied with putting his fingers to the General's lips as he moaned into his orgasm.

"I love you, Cloud," Sephiroth said as he withdrew and rolled them both over.

"I love you, too," Cloud said, and Sephiroth could see from his face that it was true. Cloud's face showed what Sephiroth thought he never would see again even after Cloud had forgiven him: that dreamy, utterly trusting look. The one he had worn the first night they confessed their love.

"On your stomach, cadet," Sephiroth said, "That is the last time I am going to say that."

"Really?" Cloud mumbled sleepily, thinking there might be some nice reasons to be on his stomach.

"I won't be calling you cadet any more after today. I guess I'm going to call you rookie."

"Ugh," Cloud moved around so he could jab Sephiroth with an elbow.

The older man laughed, pulled Cloud tight so his arms couldn't move, "Soldier," he said, "You're going to be my Soldier." He kissed Cloud and felt him relax back into sleep. They lay there for a few minutes, Sephiroth caressing up and down Cloud's back, then moving down his buttocks. He let his hand fold over one firm, rounded mound. Cloud had the most unbelievably soft skin. He let his fingertips slide up and down the cleft, and felt his own erection lift along the outside of Cloud's hip. He pressed the shaft against Cloud's skin with his palm. He rubbed a little and moved his lips around Cloud's face, remembering that Cloud had said he wanted to bump up his level.

"Cloud?" he asked softly. The boy mumbled and stirred, then fell still again. "Cloud, I want you again."

Cloud opened his blue eyes, shining in the half light. He smiled a little. "Already?" he asked.

Reveille sounded outside and Sephiroth groaned. He focused with his ears until he heard the barest stirring in the next tent over. He covered Cloud's close ear with his hand.

"Zachary!" he bellowed. In scarcely a second the young Soldier was at his tent door, still fastening his pants.

"Sir?" he said, sweeping the tent anxiously.

"Everybody sleeps in today. At least another hour."

Zack looked at Cloud's head, tucked into the crook of Sephiroth's neck.

"Oh, right," Zack said smiling. "Gaia, you about gave me a heart attack, I thought something was wrong." Zack rubbed one hand across his bare chest, feeling his heart racing. "And... I think we can afford three hours if you want them."

"Thank-you, Zack," Sephiroth said, and turned back to Cloud as Zack left. He put several small kisses on Cloud's face. "Can we go again?"

Cloud smiled, a warm feeling spreading through his midsection. It felt so good to be wanted that much, but...

"I want to, but I'm still so tired I'm not sure I can manage another myself."

Sephiroth slid out from under him. "Stay on your stomach."

He hovered over Cloud, taking time to admire the new musculature of his back in the dim lamplight. He ran his fingers up to the webbing into Cloud's blonde hair on the back of his head. He moved his knees between Clouds, nudging Cloud's legs apart as he laid his body on top of Cloud and they both moaned at the sudden full body contact of skin. Cloud was still slick from Sephiroth's last deposit, and so he moved inside easily. He pushed and leaned, Cloud's body rubbing up and down against the bottom sheet. Sephiroth groaned and lightly grabbed onto the back of Cloud's neck with his teeth. Cloud gasped a little as the feel of Sephiroth's teeth on his neck and the rubbing against the firm mattress elicited a familiar response.

"Seph," Cloud wiggled under his lover, trying to get some space and movement to his groin.

Sephiroth, understanding what was needed, snaked one arm under Cloud's hips and lifted him up to hands and knees. Sure enough, the kid had stiffened up. He lubed up a palm and gave Cloud a good squeeze. Cloud moaned.

"I need fast," Cloud said.

Sephiroth nodded. Cloud was tired, he would need it exactly right to get to get off. And Cloud should come first. "You'll need to help me," He whispered in Cloud's ear.

Cloud added one of his hands to the effort, to guide Sephiroth's work and keep him at the right rhythm.

"C'mon, Cloud, c'mon," Sephiroth blew a slow, hot breath into Cloud's ear and ran his tongue along the edge of the cartilage. Cloud was painting heavily and intermittently whimpering. The whimpering became louder, more desperate, more frequent until it culminated into a wailing yell.

"Seph! Aghurh!!"

Sephiroth climaxed also with that yell, almost surprising himself because he was so absorbed in Cloud's progress. And that last yell was LOUD. Surely the whole camp heard that one. Too bad. Once Cloud was Soldier he meant to make sure everyone knew he was his. He collapsed on top of Cloud, neither man able to stay up now. Sephiroth barely had the presence of mind to roll back over and put Cloud back on top of him.

"On your stomach, cadet," he said.

Cloud laughed a little as he dropped off to sleep. So much for the last one being the last time Seph said that.

ccccccccccccccc

Cloud had a mediocre performance for his shooting tests, even with the extra sleep. He didn't care much as it was his least favorite subject; Soldiers had to understand firearms but they usually didn't use them. Jens turned out to have a hot day. He was close behind or even up with their crack-shot Amon, and at the end of the day he had won the top honors and his Choice. Cloud came in third, which he was happy with giving the difficult week he had. And really, he couldn't complain. He had what he really wanted.

The cadets all lined up in the common area in the early evening. They were all dressed in their new black Soldier uniforms that Malik had passed out – fatigues and short sleeved high collared shirt in plain black, but it was recognizable the world over as Soldier. The First Classes all came out wearing every dress decoration they had. The war veterans were particularly laden down, most notably Sephiroth and colonel McIntyre who stood together almost blinding the company with gold and silver medals, epaulettes, and braided cords. The ceremony was simple, no lecture because the General disliked lectures. The idea was that everything that should have been communicated was done so through physical lessons during the week. Cloud looked around, realizing he wasn't the only one who had been subjected to these. Almost every cadet in line he had seen suffering at least once during the week under one of the odd punishments, even if he didn't understand the point of some of them. Probably they were all designed with dual purpose, like his bottle standing exercise.

The First Classes, minus the general and Gavin, were holding the last piece of equipment to be bestowed upon them: the kisori, the traditional leather strapped body armor. At a command from the colonel the First Classes stepped forward to a cadet and strapped the kisori on him, saluted, moved to another cadet, repeating until all were finished. Then they stepped back in formation and saluted the new Third Classes in sharp coordination. Gavin made a call, and the entire company turned and simultaneously saluted the General. He saluted back and the whole field erupted in a cheer. Their formation fell apart and both groups mingled together as several cork pops from the sparkling wines punctuated their revelry. First Classes with someone special went directly and collected them. But the General remained at the far side of the group looking unapproachable even as Cloud saw, with only mild surprise, that Gavin had walked over and collected a very happy looking Thom.

"All right, Cloud," Zack slung an arm around Cloud.

Cloud looked at Zack. He adored Zack, but at the moment he wasn't who he wanted. Why hadn't Sephiroth come over to him like the others had?

"I talked to Seph about this," Zack said, "and I convinced him to follow convention. You're Soldier now and he doesn't come to his Soldiers; they go to him. So he's not coming over here. It has to be the other way around. But I think you at least warrant an escort."

Cloud smiled. Good enough. But they didn't move, they just stood there. Gavin returned to Sephiroth with Thom under an arm, and still they didn't move. Cloud looked at Zack, questioning. Zack had that mischievous look on his face.

"See that little impatient toe tap he gave? I am _so_ going to catch it for holding you over here."

Zack strolled them around a bit, deliberately staying away from the General, and Cloud laughed a little. He was teasing his commander. Well, the guy always did have more guts than sense. Finally they wandered over to Sephiroth and Zack handed Cloud off, judiciously ducking a swipe from his annoyed commander. But all Sephiroth's ill temper fell away as he pulled Cloud close and surprised him with a kiss. He kissed him for a really long time, and Cloud reddened, imagining every eye on them since the General was always at the periphery of every Soldier's attention. The kiss continued, and Cloud decided the only thing to do was to settle in and enjoy it, wrapping his arms around Sephiroth's neck. Finally Sephiroth broke it off, leaving them both breathless.

"Welcome to Soldier, Cloud." Sephiroth said, and both smiled at each other as if they were the only two people in the world.


End file.
